If you’ve never left where you grew up

[Lasagnafortea]

Why not?

Sort of inspired by another thread.

Did you want to leave but couldn’t, never had the yearning to see more? did you want to stay, are you happy?

Just curious really!

im not stuck in the small town mindset. (Which very much does exist, weird old fashioned ideas all the way to hostility to outsiders) however i do meet city dwellers who seem to think all small town people are small minded and stupid too which i find very entertaining.

The people you describe are just narrow minded. Moving around wouldn’t help them. Insular places are actually mainly caused by poverty, not people not moving around. Poverty stops people mixing with different people, travelling, having opportunities to meet very different people through work, thinking others have more opportunities etc etc

I moved back in with my parents after uni and got a job locally to me. I met DH locally on a night out (those were the days!) and so both of us had all of our families here. He also worked locally. Both of our sets of friends moved back here after uni and managed to get jobs locally, bar one who moved to London to further his career. DH and I have been lucky to always get jobs within an hour commute of our home, however I would consider moving elsewhere if one of us got an amazing career opportunity.

Just to add - just because I haven’t moved away doesn’t mean I am not well travelled! We have been to many far flung places together on various types of holidays.

I knew when I was around 16 that I’d live abroad. I knew by 23 that there was nothing there for me to help me grow further. I came from a lovely place, lovely family and friends but couldn’t face living the same life, visiting the same pubs with the same friends week after week (no offence to those friends, they’re wonderful) I just knew there was a huge world out there to see.

*Nothing there for me where I grew up

fell pregnant at 18, ended up on my own and stayed for the support of my parents. Since married and had more dc but then they are in schools and it would be too much upheaval for little gain. Dh has only lived in this town too. Neither of our parents grew up here though, not even in the same county.
will we move in the future? I doubt it tbh. We talk about it but really, we like our town, it has lots of good amenities and it’s home. We’d be moving out just for the sake of it

I have a few friends in this position shouldn't understand how they werent desparate to leave!

Now I have children and elderly parents that need help - I get it!! I'm one of the few people that don't have hands on parents locally and it's hard.

Saying that, I would make the same decesion toleave every time. Living in different places has given me perspective and makes appreciate the good things about a place. I've lived in towns, cities, abroad, shared houses, halls of residence etc. It also allows you to have a fresh start and sort of reinvent yourself. I think I would feel less able to be myself in my home town and judged by my past ( which isn't bad at all! )

Everyone of my friends still lives in the small (ish) Welsh town we grew up in. I left for London 21yrs ago. I go back regularly to visit family and nothing has changed. I think they all just got local jobs and nothing to encourage them to leave. I left for a job - and much prefer living here, I’ve never been bored - I’m back there 4/5 days and struggle with the lack of things to do

I read once that 80% of people in the UK live within 5 miles of where they were born.

Q. For all the home birds.
Neither me nor my husband are from where we now live so have no wider family here, our teenage children were all born and raised here though, so this is where they're from. If you were the children in this situation, how would you feel if your parents moved far away from here as soon as you finished secondary school at 18?

I was chatting to my hairdresser about this. She was saying she’d recently separated from her partner and now lived in a house right between her mum and her gran, and I thought how lovely that must be, for her and her children, and for her mum and gran too.

I didn't go to university and got a job straight away. I bought a house 5 minutes from my parents when I was 24, I married my husband when I was 26 and he was the brother of my friend and also loved locally (despite him going to uni and living elsewhere).
When we purchased a house we were still within 5 minutes of both sets of parents and both sets of siblings.

I don't feel I have missed out, I love the area we live in and don't want to move elsewhere.

Still live in my home town in Essex. Like most people who stay, it certainly isn’t out of affection. I hate the place. I stay because of loved ones (ageing mother, disabled sister).

When I was a kid, this was a fairly peaceful little town, quite rural actually. Now it’s an overcrowded dump. The population has trebled since I was young, and developers have squeezed ghastly rabbit hutch ‘houses’ onto every available piece of land. The roads are a nightmare, and 24/7 you can hear the screeching and explosions of modified exhausts. Even driving to Tesco is stressful and exhausting. God knows what it will be like in 20 years. Uninhabitable I should think. I will urge my daughter to get her degree and then emigrate somewhere peaceful, somewhere she can actually move and breathe and enjoy nature.

It does depend very much on the kind of work you do as well. My husband has a tech-y job that could be done at many different firms all over the country, but I’m in an industry that’s very centred around London and a few cities in the south, so until Covid and wfh became so widely accepted, I couldn’t have stayed where I was born (in the north west). My cousins all have jobs like teaching, admin, cooking, building, shop work etc which aren’t region specific, and I have often felt envious that they have the family all around them - especially once I had DS and had no local family support.

Most people I know live in the city we were born in. People I work with from other local towns commute back to their town. I can't fathom how many people on MN don't live where they grew up because that's completely different to my life experience.

I also think it totally depends on what makes you happy and what you want out of life. (Also as I've said previous I do love the area I live in!)
The biggest part of my life is my family and if I don't see them at least weekly I miss them. I love how my niece comes to my house and it's like her second home and my daughter is the same at my sisters house.
My family and my in laws aren't 'in each other's pockets' we would always text or ring before going to each other's houses. When grandparents weren't/aren't well we have been there.
I work as a nurse in the community and see a lot of families struggle with relatives living far away, sons and daughters stressed as they can't get to their parents quick enough to help in situations etc and as I've got older I do appreciate family being close.

I left my village to go to Uni, in London. Didn’t enjoy living in London, missed my family & the place I grew up in. Moved back home, met myDH n a night out with friends at a pub 2 miles down the road & the rest as they say, is history. Now I live in the neighbouring village to my parents and his are in the village less than half a mile in the other direction!! We live a stone’s throw from the hospital we were both born in & where our two sons were born.

Before meeting me, DH lived in America for a time, working there for a big company. I lived in France for a while & travelled extensively in Europe beforehand as well. We both had failed relationships in our pasts, so it does feel a little bit like destiny!!

I hated my town. Boring, miles from anywhere shithole, one street, everyone knew your business. Never, ever going to move back there.

Went to uni. Had no plan of what to do after uni. Moved in with a twat from my home town.

Left twat. Moved 20 miles away. Met dh. Ended up moving 10 miles from where I grew up, so that i could be close to gp if we had kids. Bigger sithole, but better transport.

It's not what I thought I would do, but it has its benefits:
I know the area and am local enough, but not got the history that comes with growing up in one place. I didn't go to school with anyone round here.
I'm pretty much 20 minutes, max, from anyone I want to see.
I appreciate that everywhere is boring when you grow up there.
I'm 30 minutes from the beach in one direction, forests in another and cities in another. Granted, you need a car though.

I absolutely agree to an extent but we're actually a pretty well off town and many of the people i was thinking of have not grown up in poverty - working class yes, but not poverty.

I've stayed with 5 miles of where I grew up (couldn't afford to live in the same village!) I didn't go to uni, but got a job after college and professional qualification, I was lucky this was only a few miles away so I don't even have a commute.

Met DP at 16, we bought our house 8years later after doing some travelling now have 2 DC who will go to the same school my parents did

I like being close to all my family, only 2 minutes from my DGP's , its fairly common around here to not move far, only within a couple villages

Agree with this.
These threads always come across as condescending to people who haven't moved away as if there life experience is less valid because of that. Doesn't mean we've never left the country and are closed minded (as PP said)
Being close to family is invaluable to me. I live in a small city with lots of jobs opportunities and also in commutable distance to other larger cities. I own my home and will happily raise my family here.
I also appreciate that where I live is not for everyone - different strokes for different folks.

Name changed as so outing. I live in Oxford in a good location. Also lived around this area. I'm close to the town centre with the universities and amazing buildings, lovely restaurants and shops. Never got bored of the museums that ive been going to since I've been tiny. Then I'm also close to the amazing countryside. I love going on walks and swimming in the river in the summer. Also its close to other beautiful places. Love walking around Blenheim palace on a sunday afternoon. I've obviously been to other places in the UK and have liked them but nowhere is as nice as here. I'm quite content.

Always lived around this area that should say

I live where I grew up as do most of my close social network- one of the least 'close minded' people you could meet

I did leave, although not that far away, then came back to the same town, different area. My dad lives here, it was affordable, and other than my dad it was in the middle of all other parents and close to the motorway for travel. It just ticked all the boxes. Good schools for DS as well. I didn't want him going to a secondary school where we used to live.

I like where I grew up. I've saw lots of the world but never want to stay away. I live about 30mins away from where I grew up but I'd love to go bk. my dh doesn't like the area. I wish I hadn't agreed to move away from my family I miss just being able to pop in for cuppa with my mum or sister. I wld see them a lot more if I stayed in same area and wld get more help with childcare. Still see them most weeks but it's not the same.

I moved many years before I had kids though so it wasn't as important when I was younger but now I really wish we had moved closer at least.

I grew up somewhere beautiful and never wanted to leave. I went to uni and came back. I always knew I wanted to have a family here and for my children to have my childhood. I travel into the nearest city for work and go on lots of UK, short haul and long haul holidays, so I've never thought of myself as less traveled. I love that dc are attending my old schools, that they're surrounded by family, that I have so many friends here. I have friends who moved away but don't necessarily live interesting or exciting lives.