Triggered after all these years. Contains references to sexual abuse.

[Cheeseandlobster]

I don't know why I am posting really but I can't talk to anyone about this.

When I was small my dad used to take me to his place of work occasionally. I used to look forward to this. It was a treat for me. But he also used to show me the pornography magazines he kept under his desk. I only realised this was bad when I got older. I raised this with my so called mother a few years ago and was told it was my fault as I looked and I didn't say anything. He did other things too. Not just this.

So fast forward to today and I am watching a series. Which is filmed in his old place of work where he did this. I recognised it, googled it and I was right. His old building was closed in 2020 and is now used for film locations.

And I just feel weird now. I can't talk to anyone about it and I don't even know what I want from this. I guess I just needed to get it off my chest

No advice except to try counselling. My counsellor has been a lifeline, I would honestly be dead by now without him.

I found this quite triggering myself as that was what I was told too. Its my fault too for looking.

You poor thing. NOT your fault at all, you're mother is displacing guilt.

You can also talk to Rape Crisis at any time, doesn't need to be recent abuse, most of the women they help are coming to terms with childhood sexual abuse.

@Notanotherwindow I am so sorry for triggering you too. People are shit. How can it ever be a child's fault? I have been considering counselling for a while. I think I get it free now from my employer so this may be feasible. Sending you the old mumsnet flowers 💐

Thank you. It gets harder as you get older. I would have thought it would be easier. This is really helpful