Mortified at being called aggressive !!

[lollipoprainbow]

I've always been a very quiet person and get on with my work quietly and diligently. Our workplace has recently merged with another one and so I have a new boss who is based off site, we have teams meetings weekly with another team member. Things haven't been going well since we merged, there is a much heavier workload and I've had to learn new ways of working which I don't mind to a degree but one aspect of it I find over the top and ridiculous and moreorless voiced this in our team meeting this week. I found myself asking why we had to do everything her way and it was so unlike me to be like this, she shut me down and told me she would talk to me after the meeting, then told me I had been slightly aggressive and unprofessional in the team meeting. I have always got on very well with her and wish now I had kept quiet. I feel so stupid and embarrassed. It's playing on my mind all the time even though we have talked since and she is fine. How can I move past this.

I think that when people who are usually quiet and passive speak up, they can come across as aggressive or forceful because they just have no practice of how to assert themselves. Like someone who has been wearing noise cancelling headphones all day speaking to someone f2f for the first time may end up speaking louder without meaning to if that makes sense.

I encourage my colleagues to speak up about something every now and then, even when they don't always want to, in order that they maintain the communication skills and confidence to do it professionally for when they actually do feel strongly about something and need to be heard.

Absolutely this!