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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sick of being left out of takeaway orders in jobs

23 replies

Zoopla123 · 17/09/2022 11:23

It's not that I'm desperate for one, it's just they don't even ask.
I'm an agency worker, and I didn't even know they'd ordered twice until the order turned up so it wasn't even like I could ask.
I know some people will come on here and say well once or twice the agency worker didn't pay me back, so we never offer them now.
But we really aren't all like that. Care staff do get breaks despite what people think, there's time to do a quick bank transfer or quickly give change before the order is placed.
It's been 3 times now I've been sitting awkwardly with nothing whilst they all eat their takeaway order, and not one person asked.
I'm also a regular at this home and have worked with the staff several times so they do know me.
Aibu to find this a bit rude?

OP posts:
Original poster
Zoopla123 · 17/09/2022 11:25

One place they did offer me to order which I really appreciated

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 17/09/2022 11:27

Do you normally take packed lunch? And they've assumed you won't want it or mentioned watching your weight?

Have you asked to be included? Sometimes it's just habit.

Notimeforaname · 17/09/2022 11:27

So unless someone offers you to put in an order, you have no lunch? Take a lunch with you, buy one. Fuck them.

Original poster
Zoopla123 · 17/09/2022 11:28

No it's a breakfast order, they couldn't have given me a chance to ask because i didn't even know they'd ordered until the takeaway turned up. Literally 5 of fhem sat in front of me eating a takeaway, not one person said a word.

OP posts:
NipplesSkywards · 17/09/2022 11:29

Sthey could have a regular order that just delivered / order your own /say something

Original poster
Zoopla123 · 17/09/2022 11:29

I have brought some food, you usually get leftover food in nursing homes but several places do takeaways anyway. So luckily I'll still eat

OP posts:
Original poster
Zoopla123 · 17/09/2022 11:31

I might just order my own next time and stuff them. Sadly I'm not confident enough to say something.
Also before i asked where I put something, just as sometimes people moan if you don't put stuff in the exact right place, and then the woman told me , then I heard her whisper behind my back that I'd asked a really dumb question and rolled her eyes.
If id just put it in the wrong place she'd likely have moaned about that too

OP posts:
ColinRobinsonsfamiliar · 17/09/2022 11:33

What a bunch of bloody arseholes!!
supposed to be a caring fucking profession!
OP don’t even let it in your head!!

Chuck it in the fuck it bucket and crack on, head high…
Utter arseholes!

Original poster
Zoopla123 · 17/09/2022 11:35

Agency staff are seen as a different species sometimes I think.

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 17/09/2022 11:37

@Zoopla123 when they were all sat around eating why didn't you just say "Oh next time I'm in and you get a food order in can you let me know?"

If they then didn't let you know you could tell that they were twats but unless you communicate they aren't mind readers, you can't get cross when you haven't used your voice. As for someone whispering behind your back we'll that's unkind and these places can be cliquey.

Raul57 · 17/09/2022 11:39

I've seen stuff like that they are bunch of ignorant b's.
I bet you they think you are taking their overtime and may get a perma post and i bet you you really do a good job and take not SH(one)T.

I feel for you as I've been there but slightly different as i said no a couple of times. I've seen people sent to coventry and it's often by a few of the gang that lead and others follow in fear.

The person that thinks they are the manger there but not - does he/she get on with you?

Original poster
Zoopla123 · 17/09/2022 11:40

You're right, I just don't feel confident enough sadly to say anything. But equally surely it could have occurred to even one of them to think to include me?

OP posts:
AndSoFinally · 17/09/2022 11:45

There's always a couple of queen bitches amongst care home staff. It's really rude not to offer. Even if they asked you to do the money transfer first, they could still offer.

Take no notice

Original poster
Zoopla123 · 17/09/2022 11:48

Yeah, I'm tempted to just order my own thing at lunch and just ignore the lot of them.

OP posts:
OldTinHat · 17/09/2022 11:49

I used to work in a place where they'd turn up with takeaways or go to the Chinese for lunch all the time and I was never, not once, included. Not in 7yrs.

Not a care home and I was permanent staff.

It clicked one day, why. Because they were all men, I was the only woman so I didn't count.

Original poster
Zoopla123 · 17/09/2022 11:49

I've also never been to a care home which wasn't incredibly bitchy sadly. Probably one or two, but in the main no

OP posts:
internetCrazies · 17/09/2022 11:50

I'm a carer and we have agency staff in a lot and whilst most are treated great because they're regular agency who they know well by now, god help you if you're a foreigner! They're bloody horrible to and about non Brit workers. I've actually reported colleagues for their racism so it's not a stretch to think that these same bitchy people would be shitty to any agency worker I suppose. Not me though. I love agency workers because we'd be fucked without them and it ain't me paying the bill! I would definitely include you in an order. Heck, I might just pay for it too! Being understaffed in care is the worst.
Next time just order your own. They may see and when they realise what they did, could feel bad that they never bothered to include you.

internetCrazies · 17/09/2022 11:55

Zoopla123 · 17/09/2022 11:49

I've also never been to a care home which wasn't incredibly bitchy sadly. Probably one or two, but in the main no

Ain't that the truth.

Such a shame that caring is looked down upon and paid badly. It attracts the worst because as long as you don't have a record, it's guaranteed employment because of understaffing throughout the whole industry. Many genuine caring carers have their spirits broken and leave the industry. A number are only there because they need a wage, not because they adore the residents like family and actually want to be there.

Coffeetree · 17/09/2022 11:58

I'd be tempted to say something like, "Wow that looks lovely! Where'd you order from? Amazing!" the whole time they're eating. Rude af. I literally can't eat unless I'm offering something to the person with me.

Prinnny · 17/09/2022 12:00

If it was a breakfast order maybe it was planned last night? If you do regular shifts there just say ‘oh that looks great, let me know next time your ordering if I’m here’ then they know you want in and if they still don’t ask then you can call them bitches.

Dacquoise · 17/09/2022 12:20

Unfortunately what I have found in life is a lot of people, if not most, are pretty self-absorbed. It doesn't occur to them that the new person might want to be included so they make sure they have what they want without a thought for anyone else. It's not personal, per se, but thoughtless. Think you have to speak up to 'remind' them of your presence in future.

Halli2020 · 17/09/2022 12:38

I have experience as working as agency in a care home. They don't see you as "part of them" if they're already in their clique sometimes, sad but true

CallMeLinda · 17/09/2022 13:08

Rude.
If getting money is a concern, the person ordering can ask for money upfront.

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