Does this sound normal for 8yo?

[DCNormal]

DD is 8, Year 4.

She’s never had a playdate with a school friend but does get invited to parties that aren’t whole class (she’s been invited to two this school year alone, neither whole class, one had only 3 others from the class the other was 8 from the class). We’ve had playdates with my cousins DC and friends with DC but never a classmate.

She does Brownies and Gymnastics outside of school. Both leaders/instructors tell me she’s chatty and seems to get along with everyone but has no set friends or group but she’s not excluded and just happily chats away. Brownies often use her as an example as she gets lots of badges due to doing the Interest Badges and the other girls seem to like her there. None of her classmates do these things at the same time as her, only 1 other girl in the class does Brownies, although it seems all the other girls do Gymnastics.

All her teachers (in the past not spoken to the Y4 teacher yet) have said similar to Brownies/Gymnastics. She plays with everyone, doesn’t seem to have a set group or friendships but seems happy enough to play with James and Amelia one day but Ruby and Emily (not real names) the next.

She has some SN and comes across a bit younger than she is but not by a huge amount, she seems maybe 12 months at most emotionally behind, so she still plays with Barbies and her dolls houses (sylvanian families and similar) whereas her classmates now suddenly seem into makeup and hair, they also seemed to have ditched bikes and scooters in favour of running or walking where as DD still rides her scooter.

There’s no bullying going on from what I can tell, but I do try to steer DD in the direction of the interests of the other girls in her class when we’re with them and not with family as there’s been the odd comment in the past about DD being a baby – this was heard by her HT even though it wasn’t in school time HT dealt with it and there’s been no comments since as far as I know.

Does DD sound normal? It’s a worry of mine and ExH as we were both horrendously bullied at school due to being the weird kid and don’t want that for DD. My bullying started in Year 3 and ExHs Year 5 so DD is around the age we were.

She's normal. And playing with toys is important and healthy at that age.

I think when you've been bullied it warps your perception of your own childs experiences and you don't enjoy their childhood as much as you should because you are constantly worried.

Is she happy? I think you know the answer.

She sounds lovely OP. Self assurance and self reliance will serve her well for the future.

She sounds lovely! Is she happy? Or is she asking you about playdates and worrying about not having close friends? If no then just let her be who she is. You said playdates aren't a big thing and she is being invited to class parties. Sounds like she is doing just fine.

I have dd the same age and sounds simular. Although she does tend to play with the same handful of kids. Hasn't had a best friend. However she's just recently been playing out after school with a girl who lives round the corner. They are in same class but the girl is the year above(1.5 years to a class). Been in each others houses, so could become a regular thing. If your dd is happy I'd not worry at all about her. She sounds like she gets on well in the class etc. My dd is very much still toys, likes lip gloss etc but not really into hair and make up yet.

Is she happy? It's something I've had to learn to step back if I'm worried about DC's social situation at school, if they're happy with the way things are then they don't need me trying to fix things. My Autistic DS won't engage in playing a game if he doesn't feel like playing that game. He'd rather go play by himself or run laps if the children he usually plays with are playing something he doesn't like. He goes through long periods where he flits from group to group, or even just plays with children he doesn't know at all. But he's happy and he doesn't need me trying to push him to be someone he's not because I'm worried his friendships at school don't fit the NT pictures in my mind. That all only applies though if she's happy with how things are.nn

She sounds like me when I was a child. I turned out okay, although I still don't have many friends but one or two I speak to, socialising doesn't really bother me much if I'm honest. Some kids mature earlier than other she's doing just fine I'd say

8 year olds in DD's class aren't particularly interested in hair and make up yet. OMG dolls, Barbie's, squishy toys, Among Us, Minecraft etc. and they're obsessed with the characters from Poppy Playtime. Other than lip balm she's never expressed any interest in make up. Your DD sounds perfectly normal for her age.

My DD is 8, Year 4. She scoots to school. Goes out on her scooter at the weekends.
Asks yo wear make up (a bit of mascara and some lip gloss) at school discos, but otherwise not. She likes lip balm but other than that 🤷‍♀️
At school she plays teachers/families with her friends. Your daughter sounds utterly normal for her age IMO

@diamondpony80 Sounds very much like my Cousins DC whose a year older and in Year 5. So DDs about right.

Thanks everyone, she seems happy enough, absolutely loves Brownies and says she has lots of friends there so I'll just leave her be.

OP, does your DD vocalize that she would like to invite a friend over?