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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to never ever trust my sister again

21 replies

Peachy · 23/01/2008 22:04

basic history: we're taking parents away for their 40th anniversary, just camping for a few days, 2 double pitches required for us, parents, and 2 sisters. Paid deposits and booked as all agreed at weekend.

Sister e-mailed that she is going off with her friend (doesn't help its the bastard ex of mine that abused me and she even took on her bloody honeymoon!) instead.

Hence I get a bill form £79; if I cancel thsi site other sister will lose out and she's on maternity leave, very poor (as opposed to a bit poor like us) and lovely.

WHY do I give in and trust her? Had it been separate pitches wouldn't haev touched with a barge pole, but as they ahd to be double someone had to just go for it.

Mum and Dad will be disappointed too, as they were really looking forwards to a weekend all together.

OP posts:

pukkapatch · 23/01/2008 22:06

i think you were a fool to trust her in the first place.

pukkapatch · 23/01/2008 22:07

sorry, i know that came out quite harsh. not meant to, but i am shocked that your own sister would be friends with your abusive ex......
i have just given my brats the lecture about taking care of each other, always and forever. (at ten at night, i thinkbrats is too kind a word to use for them)

Original poster

Peachy · 23/01/2008 22:07

Would agree with that sadly. But she seemed so excited about it all.

OP posts:

ChristmasShinySnowflakes · 23/01/2008 22:07

Tell her that since she agreed she needs to pay up!

pukkapatch · 23/01/2008 22:08

does she not realise that she is destroying her parents holiday for her own selfish reasons?
go on it, and make her pay for it, even if she doesnt cough up immediately, make her pay for theholiday you all planned as a family, which she ....
grrr... so at her.

Original poster

Peachy · 23/01/2008 22:12

She won't pay, they wouldn't care less- this si the woman that deducted sick pay from my Mum when my Mum was sick and sister ahd to put her son in childcare (note: she runs nursery so didnt have to pay). they're loaded- for obvious reasons! She gave ds1 poisonous stuff for Christmas last year (chemicals with not for children all over- for a child with ASD), and ds3 got inflatables reduced because they had holes in them.

Argggh, I am a fool and it is all my own fault.

OP posts:

posieflump · 23/01/2008 22:13

she is friends with your abusive ex

TotalChaos · 23/01/2008 22:13

oh dear, I take it she's not likely to stump up the dough...I'ld be mentally subtracting it from Xmas pressies etc

WinkyWinkola · 23/01/2008 22:14

Never mind not trusting her again. I wouldn't bother with her at all in any respect. She sounds vile.

Original poster

Peachy · 23/01/2008 22:15

She has pictures of my ex in her bathroom- it's really odd. Apparently Ias ked for what I got from him- that's long passed now, 15 years or so.

I didnt get an invite to their pre-wedding party as he didnt want me there

This si so me- I am too forgiving- I am going to have stop trusting people you silly fool tattoo'ed on my wrist for future reference.

OP posts:

pukkapatch · 23/01/2008 22:15

send her a bill, throught a solicitors, and make hre pay for the solicitors as well.
if ever there was a reason to never contact a sibling again, you have it..
beyond belief at her

ladymariner · 23/01/2008 22:17

Shocked how anyone could be so wicked? Poor you, and also poor parents, having their special anniversary spoiled.

twospecialgirls · 23/01/2008 22:17

she should pay what it would have cost for her to go y should you fooot the bill

Trolleydolly71 · 23/01/2008 22:17

Message withdrawn

MrsArchieTheInventor · 23/01/2008 22:18

She sounds like a complete bitch and you are not being unreasonable to never trust her again. She might be family but she's behaved and is still behaving like a twisted, self-centred, manipulative piece of baggage that, quite frankly, you don't need in what sounds like an otherwise loving family.

Original poster

Peachy · 23/01/2008 22:19

I can't dump relatives, DH has had to dump his Mum for bigger reasons but I am a sucker. I only see her about twice a year though- her DH is an Arse ( he wanted to get my almost retired dad, cant drive, lost his entire pension in a scandal and will be on benefits, a membership starter pack for a gym ten miles away from their house that would cost dad £100 a month to maintain for Christmas. I mean- dad was spitting!) But her lovely little son is an only child, always will be, spends 12 hours a day anyewhere sis can leave him and I would hate to not see him.

OP posts:

1066andallthat · 23/01/2008 22:22

Ah, Peachy, not so.

Some people will only see what suits them. You are giving your parents a lovely break - your unmentionable-sister is no longer available - AND?

A long time ago, I traded my unbearable and truly horrid brother in. It was all in my head. In exchange, I got a new brother-in-law (married to my second ex-sister-in-law) who is a good Dad, fun to be with, lovely to e-mail and SO much nicer than my brother. It is very liberating - have a look round !

MrsArchieTheInventor · 23/01/2008 22:24

In that case you can only be wary about anything directly impacting on you, i.e. loaning money, booking holidays etc. It sounds like a futile exercise to even attempt to talk to her so I wouldn't even waste my breath if I were you.

Original poster

Peachy · 23/01/2008 22:27

Yes I know what you mean- when DH lost his Mum after his aprents split, he gained a stepmum we're very close to indeed.

In reality though I shall hve to play this one close to my chest as if mum and dad find out it will ruin their break and that's most importantly NOT going to happen.

Will see if I can borrow a big gazebo for her space and at least we can get some enjoyment from it, we'll have 2 tiny babies (mine in Amrch and nince-sister just ahd one) so it should be lovely anyway.

Mum wants a photo of us all for her 60th also this year- I am SO not arranging that.....

OP posts:

chipmonkey · 23/01/2008 22:43

God, Peachy, she sounds like a piece of work! Isn't it amazing how members of the same family can be so different? You're way too good for the likes of her!

1066andallthat · 23/01/2008 23:11

Ah, like the idea of the gazebo. No, they don't need to know about her priorities being all wrong.

As for the photo, I'd nod and smile and do nothing to make it happen BUT would take loads of photos of your break and the babes and the gazebo and put them into lovely frames.

Hold onto the fact you are doing something lovely and your sister's lack of cooperation doesn't take away from it, because you won't let it disintegrate into a family feud.

Will look forward to hearing about the baby and the trip - may both experiences be wonderful .

Flip