yabu - try and be friends
yanbu- forget them and move on
Hoping to get some opinions on my friendship group. I have been friends with 3 ladies in our group since school, we all became a group when I got engaged and all reconnected. This was 8 years ago, prior to this I was best friends with 2 of the women not as a group but individually. Our group would message on WhatsApp regularly, meet up as much as we could and we all seemed to get on and have fun, the group was great at this point. When friend A got engaged 6 months later I was so excited for her and was looking forward to chat wedding talk with her. Immediately she seemed competitive, she changed with me over night and I felt everything was a competition. She was my bridesmaid and organised my hen, another one of my bridesmaids wasn’t helpful and I got the impression from friend A she was enjoying her not being a good friend and would tell me the negative things she was doing. She was very off on my hen do and chatted to a lot of my friends but I didn’t get the warm vibe I used to get from her. Fast forward to my wedding day and she was miserable, even my husband said in the photos what is wrong with her, she didn’t speak to me all day and at one point I was stood next to her and she gave me the most awful look up and down (this sounds so trivial but I would never do this to a friend let alone on their wedding day!). I overheard her saying it’s just horrible to her husband and I said is everything okay and she just said yes of course, it was so odd I just got in with my day and ignored her. She put the worse pictures of my wedding up on Facebook, my day was so lovely but she didnt put my flowers/us smiling nice pics etc just ones of her doing selfies/one where I wasn’t smiling it was very odd! She would be really off in the group with me but false and really nice via text or 1-1. After this I was a good friend to her (I held on to the fact we had good times when we were younger) for her hen do, even though at this point I felt our friendship was not the same. Fast forward to lockdown and us 4 ladies had young babies/were expecting. We all used to message and check in on one another, I hadn’t told the other two how I felt about friend A as she always comes across nice and helpful and didn’t think they would understand. I had my baby in lockdown and had awful pnd/ocd. I was really poorly and tried to confide in friend A, she seemed to understand as she has seen her family go through depression. The other two women knew I was anxious/wasn’t myself but I never told them how bad I was. They would message the group a lot and meet up every week, I couldn’t do this as I could barely leave the house. When I did manage to meet up I felt a very cold/unwelcoming atmosphere. It was like they didn’t want me there/they had been talking about me. I used to come away and feel terrible about seeing these women who were meant to be my friends. I messaged the group saying I was in a bad place and I wouldn’t be meeting up for a while,I got no response except friend A Pmd me saying she was here for me. Fast forward to this last year and I am in a much better place, have a lovely family and some really nice friends this group all catch up regularly, friend B has been in contact recently and I don’t know what to do. Friend A has had a difficult couple of years with personal issues but it doesn’t explain her behaviour before this and excuse her coldness with me when I was poorly. What do you think? Would you just ignore and carry on? I’ve been invited to a drinks night by friend B and the others will be there, I don’t want to go as I think they will make me feel like I’ve done something wrong. I’ve heard of how sometimes a group singles one person out to make themselves feel a stronger connection, this is how it feels. Thanks for reading my long post!
Stay friends or leave the group
MrsG269 · 17/09/2022 06:55
yabu - try and be friends
Am I being unreasonable?
30 votes. Final results.POLL
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