Do I bin these friends?

[JazbayGrapes]

Maybe this will sound childish, but I am really about to throw my toys out of a pram. Please bear with me...
I am in this friendship group over a year, we celebrate each other's birthdays and other occasions with nice meals out. About once a month. So far I haven't let anyone down. But now my birthday is coming up. One by one, friends decline invitation as they have something else on. Yesterday, i get a call from a friend A (who i thought kinda close and also she takes charge of organizing things), she said not to take it personally, but this is just inconvenient, and she and others have other plans. How about we postpone it for a month or two when everybody feels up to it? In her words... "better things to do in September". So I called her a cow and told her not to bother to invite me when its her day. I will also have better things to do.
Later, I get a call from friend B (obviously contacted by the friend A), she apologises, and suggests we should meet up in a middle of a week in a pub instead. I said i will think about it. But i really don't feel like going anywhere now.
So...
IABU - i need to suck it up, nobody owes me a night out at this specific time, and just go to the pub with them when its more convenient.
IANBU - they really don't like me and i shouldn't bother with them either.

Side note: friend A asked me to help her with a little community project. I would have loved to, but now I don't think i want to devote any time or effort, if a night out is such a mission impossible.

No chance to the project, if it’s brought up at all I would say “I’ve got better things to do.”

i wouldn’t be doing anything with them after being cancelled for something after the date was set but I will admit that’s because I’ve put up with this sort of shite for decades so just give up now.

Yes they have had a good time for their birthdays in the group but now it's your turn they can't be bothered so not very equal

i was treated this way at school, and it just took me too long to read the message that i was disliked.
I wonder if it's the same now and do i need to bother with these people.

A friend is a gift you give yourself.

It's not just the 'being too busy', it's the phrasing. 'Better things to do' is just awful. YANBU.

Ah well if they've made plans since making birthday plans, then yes, that's really shit of them. I'm sorry, it's really hurtful and so thoughtless and mean of them.

I guess I would try my best to chalk it up to one of those things, and do the pub meal and see how it goes (so not chucking the friendship away), but I'd be feeling much more cautious around them now. Hopefully they show with their actions going forwards, that you are valued and cared about.