I can't stay for this reason, can I?!

[havingawobblepleasehelp]

I need to leave my partner. Multiple reasons but a brief summary: emotional abuse, infidelity and just general unhappiness are my main reasons.

Here's the problem. I'm terrified to do it all alone. I work FT and will be main carer for our 18 month old DC who still does not sleep through the night. Currently (for all his faults), partner does most of the night wakings with DC because he copes far better than I do on little sleep. Sleep deprivation causes my mental health to slide quite quickly (I suffered severe PND after DC's birth and the mental health team I worked with said a huge part of the problem was lack of sleep).

How the hell will I do this alone? Im worried I'll end up unfit for work through lack of sleep.

I can't afford a night nanny or anything like that. No local family. Cutting down my hours at work isn't an option either.

Can anyone help? I can't stay for this reason, I just can't. I need out asap. 😔

I left when my daughter was 1.

I was working full time too and I decided to co-sleep, my DD was also waking a lot.

Have you tried co-sleeping?

Well done for deciding to leave, I can tell you yield life will be a lot more peaceful without him in it.

Is sleep training an option?

Start a thread in the sleep or toddler section im.sure you will get some really good advice with a range of suggestions to try.

Theres never a good time to leave. Theres always something. You say to yourself maybe when they start school. When they get to X age etc but each stage brings its own challenges and if you waited for the right time you'd be there forever.

Id just rip of the band aid and do it. You deserve to be happy akd with someone who treats you well 💐

I left when dd was 18 months old, and in some ways it's easier at that age because they don't notice the change as much. Like jeaux, I co-slept. It doesn't work for everyone but it did for us.

If your partner does all the nights does he also do much of the days? Would it be better if dc stayed with him and you visited? I appreciate you will miss your dc, but so will your partner if they go with you.

Your mental health will go way up when you drop the 14 stone weight. When you feel more relaxed baby will relax. Sit down, and observe your breath, then take a few deep breaths, at your own pace.

Although of course it also depends on your reasons for leaving.

Your child is 18 months old. It won’t be nearly as bad as it was when he was a tiny baby.

Did all the issues with your partner not have a part in your PND? Because I’d be astonished if getting away didn’t elevate your mood by taking away that constant stress I’m sure you’re feeling. You may not even know it’s there, but you’ll recognise when it’s gone.

Your child is also old enough to respond to sleep training.

No, he doesn't. Due to his job the vast majority of day time care is my responsibility

He also doesn't want dc to stay with him, due to his job commitments

Thanks all. I'm just having a major wobble today. But I know it's still the right decision. Just need to find the strength to go through with it.

He's committed to financially contributing, he's given me his word he won't let dc down in that respect. I can only believe him, what else have I got?

Pull the trigger on it, you need to do this for your own safety and sanity.

Try co-sleeping I know lots of people frown at it but honestly sleep is a premium when you are a working single parent so just do what works for you. It worked for me, DD13 slept in my bed until she was 4.

You can do this. I know it feels daunting but your life will be a lot more peaceful and your mental health will improve as you won't have to walk on eggshells anymore.