Putting baby to bed

[Saju1]

My partner always asks me to put baby to sleep, when I do occasionally ask him, he raises his voice at our baby and gives up at times. One time even calling our baby a knob for not following his orders on falling asleep. Also he decides to sometimes leave her alone in the cot while she is wide awake, as he is not patient enough to wait for her to fall asleep.

What should I do?

Get rid if him. He is the knob. I'd be seriously worried leaving my baby in his care.

Well, he's doing well at controlling the situation so you know he can't be trusted and you have to pick up his share of parenting in addition to your own.

I suppose you could try family therapy, but in my experience men like this never change.

You know that neither you nor the baby deserves to be treated like that?

Sounds like the kind who would shake a baby to death.

Leave.

He sounds like a twat

Agree with PP. But to add: how old is your baby? Depending on age, you don’t have to wait with them when they fall asleep. (I mean, you technically don’t have to at any age but it’s a very different thing based on whether baby is 2 weeks or 11 months.)

As said, you can't leave him alone with the baby. He's losing his temper and getting verbally abusive. Watch the situation as your baby gets older and don't brush off any bruises that appear.

He sounds like a jerk in a lot of ways but what’s wrong with putting the baby down awake? Is she crying?

Often very young babies (commonly under 3/4 months old) can’t actually self soothe or get themselves to sleep. They likely need help to get to sleep from parents/sleep props. Around the 4 month sleep regression babies learn to put themselves to sleep but it can take a while to learn this skill. Maybe there are exceptions but most babies are like this when young.

if a baby is like the above and is put down awake they will probably just be unsettled and cry and cry and not sleep, becoming more overtired. Defeating the object of trying to put them to bed. The cry it out method where they cry and eventually give up crying is not appropriate for babies so young (or at all for many people).

my Partner sometimes does this too when they’ve had enough of trying and it’s so frustrating as I know I will just have to get up and take over.

good luck OP, it sounds really difficult. As for the other points, Talking to a baby like that is a major red flag, I’m not surprised you’re concerned.