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AIBU?

To ask how coparenting works?

7 replies

bananarama7 · 15/09/2022 20:24

I have recently split up with my dd's dad and am trying to establish a coparenting relationship with him. I am wondering how other peoples coparenting arrangements work. Do you have your child Monday-Friday and their dad has them on the weekends? How does it work if you want to do something with your child on the weekend but they're at their dads?

OP posts:
bananarama7 · 15/09/2022 21:17

Bump?

OP posts:
KhaleesiOfChaos · 15/09/2022 21:24

My ex has DS Weds, Thurs and alternate weekends.

You can either ask to swap if you want to take your child(ren) out on your ex's weekend or respect the fact it's not your weekend and either postpone or not attend whatever the thing is.

pompei8309 · 15/09/2022 21:43

I never understood coparenting, I don’t think it’s healthy for children to sleep 2-3 nights at mums and 2-3 nights at dads , is like they don’t have a place they can call home when they’re in and out two different places, different ways of parenting, different routines etc can confuse children especially if they’re fairly young . I do however think it’s ok for weekends and part of holidays to be with their other parent , phone calls , birthdays etc

SpinningFloppa · 15/09/2022 21:47

It’s usually every other weekend, my ex isn’t involved at all though but everyone I know does eow. Don’t know anyone irl who does 50/50

bananamum13 · 16/09/2022 01:28

My XH doesn't work Mon & Weds but does work Sat and long hours the rest of the days.
Been co-parenting for 6.5 years, so he has DD every Mon & Weds and then alternate weekends from Sat afternoon.
We swap weekends if we need to - either for things to do with DD or without her.
School holidays are the same unless either of us wants to take DD away.
I don't agree with the PP about it not being good for kids - DD has had this routine since before she was 3 and as long as she knows the plan & routine, and the fact that XH & I communicate well, means that it works v well for us all.

LocalHobo · 16/09/2022 01:39

Our DC stay in the family house and ex-DP and I split our time staying there. We do 5 days in a row each and then swop. Obviously we have to give each other holiday/special occasion details and are flexible accordingly.

StellaGibson2022 · 16/09/2022 02:21

Practical side - ex has DC Thursday nights and every other weekend. We swap if we need to etc. He never does inset days or takes time off if DC is ill (he’s far too important for that)

emotional side - in the spirit of ‘co-parenting’ you have to watch from the sidelines whilst ex makes decision after decision impacting your darling child.

yes, I’m a grumpy arse about this at the moment. And no cannot afford any legal advice to see if a formal agreement is the way to go.

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