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AIBU?

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Question for cat owners !!!

69 replies

catquestion1 · 15/09/2022 19:42

do you mind if people pet your cats or is it best to leave them alone?

Full disclosure- I’m NOT a cat person. I’m actually quite scared of them (I was badly scratched by one as a child)

tonight I was walking over a grass field and I suddenly saw this little face in the grass and a cat popped up! It came over and even though I was scared, I could tell it was a nice cat and I gave it a little stroke. I tried to walk off and it followed me and was actually jumping up on me like a puppy to get petted! It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. If I walked away it would actually follow me and sit directly infront of me so that I petted it again!

I wondered if it was a kitten because it was quite small, and I checked our local Facebook page for any missing cat posts and immediately found one with someone else who had come across the cat and wondered if it was a lost kitten. The owner had replied that they get that a lot and that she’s a fully grown cat who just loves attention 🤣

I think I petted her for about 15 minutes, she was absolutely adorable! I just had a question for anyone who knows anything about cats- was it acceptable to stroke her? I keep horses and don’t really like random people petting them at the fence, only because I’m scared of jealousy in the herd if they see others getting attention, or in case they learn it and charge at the fence when they see people, and also because I don’t trust the public not to feed them/go in the field/do something stupid. Obviously it’s not ok to feed other peoples cats, but is it ok to pet them? I really wasn’t sure if I did the right thing or not.

Another question, when I was stroking her, she arched her back- I thought she seemed happy but Google said cats do that when they feel threatened? I hope I hadn’t made her upset at all.

I think she’s actually fixed my fear of cats, she was so adorable!

OP posts:
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6
fallinover · 15/09/2022 19:44

As a cat owner I think it is absolutely fine.
Also as a cat owner I know perfectly well I cannot control what my cat does.
They will let you know if they don't want stroked.

minipie · 15/09/2022 19:44

Absolutely delighted if people pet my cat! Just don’t feed her please. (As you said).

If a cat feels threatened they will usually flatten their ears, hiss and run away. Arched back can mean lots of things.

GorgeousLadyofWrestling · 15/09/2022 19:45

I love it when people pet my cats! They basically throw themselves down on the path of people passing by, and not many people can resist giving them a belly rub. Children, older people, even teenage boys - they’re all powerless in the face a small furry mammal lying on its back looking at them with importing eyes! It’s incredibly sweet to see.

An arched back when petting a cat generally means they want more and they’re interested. Cats do have funny mannerisms but weaving in an out of legs, arching back and rubbing their chin on you all mean “strokes please!”

GorgeousLadyofWrestling · 15/09/2022 19:46

*imploring eyes

Burnt0utMum · 15/09/2022 19:46

Absolutely wouldn't bother me if someone stopped to stroke my cat. She's not really into strangers though so I can't imagine anyone actually getting near her.

The arching the back you saw sounds like the happy type. A cat arching in aggression is different and you'd see the hair standing up on their back.

MikeWozniaksMoustache · 15/09/2022 19:48

Im not a cat owner just a befriender. Sometimes there’s no option… like the handsome chap (neighbours cat 2 doors down) that will furiously rub himself on my legs anytime he’s in my garden and I’m out there. He even came in the kitchen the other day, the cheeky sod.

I think it’s nice if people are nice to your pets. I think if I was a cat owner I’d like knowing he was being fussed over lol.

MarsupiIami · 15/09/2022 19:49

A cat generally let's you know if they're OK with it. If they are then I am too!

I have one friendly one and one 'absolutely terrified of people' one. You wouldn't get within a few metres of the second one, she only likes 4 people. 😂

AloysiusBear · 15/09/2022 19:50

Quietly wondering if you've been petting my needy, attention seeking 1 yr old cat.

She literally seeks out people for a fuss. Especially young children, her real favourite is to locate a kitty obsessed toddler that will stroke her for hours.

It doesn't bother me in the slightest as long as people do not feed her. A well meaning elderly neighbour kept giving her saucers of milk because she miaowed beseechingly at them, and the litter tray was disgusting :(

A cat who doesn't want your attention will simply wander off in disdain.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 15/09/2022 19:50

Petting? Fine. Feeding? Never bothered me before but now my ginger Tom going missing for weeks at a time and comes home looking completely fine and looked after...

JustTheOneSwan · 15/09/2022 19:50

As a cat slave I know and understand it is entirely up to the cat. We have a cat on our street who presents himself for pets to passers by much to the irritation of his human, he also has a feeding route.
he's called fat Stanley by everyone.

PeloFondo · 15/09/2022 19:51

I don't mind at all. Although someone tried to pick mine up and he's terrified of that so wouldn't pick them up! Head strokes/fuss all fine. Mine goes to the sheltered accommodation across the road in the hope of some tasty treats and attention Hmm

PeloFondo · 15/09/2022 19:52

Also I wasn't a cat person and then a very determined Birman cat turned me into one. I'm now a full blown cat slave to a rescue boy. He's never scratched or bitten in his life Grin

Caspianberg · 15/09/2022 19:54

No problem . One of mine spends most the day laying at the bottom of our driveway, waiting for anyone to walk by so he can walk between their feet until the pet him.

Americano75 · 15/09/2022 19:56

I don't think you actually had much choice there, but good for you for putting your fear to one side, that's not easy!

My cats will let you know if they're happy or not, if they swish their tails quickly back and forth it's best to back off.

DeanStockwelll · 15/09/2022 19:59

Unfortunately my monster is the type that will let you stroke him one min and then tear into you with no warning the next. He is also a thug with other cats so he is a house cat !
but with previous cats I had no problem at all with people stroking them but please don't be tempted to pick them up as they may struggle to be put down and inadvertently scratch you.

schoolsoutforever · 15/09/2022 19:59

as a cat owner (of a vvvvfriendly, affectionate cat), I think it’s lovely. Maybe you aren’t as scared of cats as you think…😁

Hymnulop · 15/09/2022 20:00

Was she a ginger tabby?

Bestcatmum · 15/09/2022 20:01

If the cat wants to be petted it's fine.
I used to ask friends not to pet my elderly cat because she would look like she was loving it then give them a vicious full fat bite. Did they ever listen to me? Nope and then they would be angry that my cat bit them.

DeanStockwelll · 15/09/2022 20:01

Ps @catquestion1 you do know now that you have done very well to put your fear to one side that in a short while uou will become a cat slave don't you 😂

VestaTilley · 15/09/2022 20:05

Was it her bum sticking up in the air? That’s a sign they’re very happy. Arched back can be fine as well, it depends on the cats - mine only do it when very angry at another cat, or are stretching after waking up.

Glad it’s cured your phobia! And yes, always fine to stroke them gently.

Oysterbabe · 15/09/2022 20:06

I have a cat question too.
On the school run there is a cat who always trots over and rubs round my legs when she sees me. I put my hand out for her to sniff and she'll rub her head on that too but then if I try and stroke her at all she flips out, swipes at my hand and even bit me on the leg once. So I guess my question is, what's her problem?

RaRaRaspoutine · 15/09/2022 20:06

I wouldn’t mind (love stroking friendly cats!). Mine is shy of strangers so wouldn’t approach them but some cats love it and some I know on my estate follow me for ear rubs!

Yarnosaur · 15/09/2022 20:12

Oysterbabe · 15/09/2022 20:06

I have a cat question too.
On the school run there is a cat who always trots over and rubs round my legs when she sees me. I put my hand out for her to sniff and she'll rub her head on that too but then if I try and stroke her at all she flips out, swipes at my hand and even bit me on the leg once. So I guess my question is, what's her problem?

Her problem?

She's a cat!

They can be arseholes.

They can also be lovely.

Most are both 😽

PigeonsAndVikings · 15/09/2022 20:15

Our Ring doorbell catches people coming onto the drive to stroke our cat. She waits there and shouts at passers by complaining that we’ve gone out and abandoned her.

Onekidnoclue · 15/09/2022 20:20

My cat would love the attention. I think it’s wonderful you had such a positive experience OP. Perhaps you will now join us in cat servitude?!?