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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband and his Vape

13 replies

alittlequinnie · 15/09/2022 15:56

My DH and I were smokers on and off for years. We gave up for about 7 years and then began to smoke cigars instead!

About 8 years ago we both agreed that we would give up completely again. We used a weekend away as a starting point as it's always easier to give up smoking when you've changed your routine etc.

I've never smoked anything since and DH has not smoked anything but took up vaping about a YEAR after he gave up smoking cigars.

He has vaped constantly in the house - all over the house - and the car - he honestly HONESTLY puts that fucking thing in his gob and has a suck at LEAST every five minutes. He does it at work, on the way to work, on the way home from work and at every given opportunity.

The ONLY time he doesn't have it with him is once a week when he does the food shopping (but he goes without me anyway).

I fucking hate it - I hate the smell of it - I hate the look of it when he's doing it - I hate the clouds of smoke and the fact that he does it in front of our grandchildren.

He's got absolutely NO intention of giving up whatsoever and has only agreed to not do it in a couple of areas of the house.

He thinks it smells "lovely" and that everyone at work says "I love coming into your room it always smells so nice".

To me it smells chemically and really chloying.

We've just had yet another row about it because his attitude is that he just won't give it up or cut down or anything.

I don't understand it - when he was smoking cigars he would go down to the garage once an evening and smoke one..... but this thing is just so habit forming he can't stop.

What can I do short of leaving him? How can I stop the smell everywhere - I swear to god it permeates the furniture like cigarette smoke does too...

... and there's also the lack of knoweldge around it - he swears blind it is "harmless" but how does he know this?!

OP posts:
Laurie01 · 15/09/2022 16:01

I think vape smokers look like big kids sucking on a dummy. He needs toddler training 😩 sorry no real suggestions but tell him others think he looks stupid

KangarooKenny · 15/09/2022 16:03

You either put up or leave as he’s not prepared to compromise.

ExtraJalapenos · 15/09/2022 16:40

Yeh its gross. That's coming from a vaper. Smoking rules should apply, outdoors only, not in the house.
At work I use smoke shelter yet a barrage of absolute bellends vape whilst in the queue for the lunch van. The shelter is about 10 yards away but of course these idiots cannot not vape for even the 2 minutes they wait for their food.

I think he needs to understand its gross, its come out of his mouth ffs. I wouldn't dream of doing it indoors or around other people. And the smells are sickly too!
This thread just makes me want to quit it now lol

Here, have my first LTB lol

Animallover87 · 15/09/2022 16:48

Ugh that would drive me crazy too, OP.

edux · 16/09/2022 11:09

This reply has been deleted

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OperaStation · 16/09/2022 11:33

It’s very bad for his health and yours. Does he really not care about that?

Has he ever read any of the evidence? There’s plenty out there.

www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/5-truths-you-need-to-know-about-vaping?amp=true

10HailMarys · 16/09/2022 11:49

It's less harmful than smoking but certainly not harmless.

If he really can't/won't give up then he at least needs to treat it like smoking and stop doing it in the house and in front of the grandkids.

I'm surprised he can vape indoors at work; I've never worked anywhere that it's been allowed! Does he own his own business?

GetOffTheRoof · 16/09/2022 11:55

DH has taken to smoking his fucking vape in bed - I'm about to ban it from the bedroom.....

It's so fucking antisocial if you're a particular variety of wanker using it. DH doesn't notice when he blows it in my face. I've complained this week when he phones me because I'm sick of the slurping noise he makes in my ear he's on a call. He seems to deep breathe the bloody thing - nothing like he did when he smoked. AND its never out his hand, especially when driving which gives me the absolute rage.

I told him years ago I'm not interested in the vape, the liquid, the bloody parts that need replacing every five minutes or how it works. We didn't discuss smoking, ever, except if he ran out it tobacco and had to pop to the shop. Why is a bloody vape a conversation piece with me Every. Bloody. Day?

It makes me want to take smoking up again so I can go out the house to avoid it.

Ah that was a nice rant.

In practice though, maybe agree he'll use it like he did cigarettes? Outside. Or agreed rooms of the house?

Allywill · 16/09/2022 11:57

Isn’t it water vapour that’s coming out - like steam? So not smoke. It does smell though.

driedapricots101 · 12/01/2025 20:37

Joining this old thread as at wits end on this one too.. it stinks & my DH like those above refuses to stop/ cut down & does it constantly, everywhere.. he smells like a boiled sweet & it makes me feel sick going anywhere near him. He gets really angry/ defensive if I do much as request he doesn't do it in our bedroom.. frankly it's coming between us. Has anyone actually LTB because of vaping?? I'm seriously considering it.

CatTV · 12/01/2025 20:52

I smoked on and off for years, and only very very lightly (1 a day, maybe 2 if my colleague at work who smoked was in at the same time as me).

Anyway, I made the mistake of getting into vaping and omg I got HOOKED. I was puffing away in the car, every night when sat on the sofa watching TV, every time I walked anywhere. I felt weird when I didn't have one in my hand. I don't even know how it happened. They are highly addictive because they are so easy to use, don't make your hands smell and you can smoke them indoors.

So basically, I can see the "why" behind your DH's use and how he has gotten into them so much - not an excuse though. Please don't think I am siding with him.

I developed costochondritis and could only put it down to my vaping - I quit the vape and 2 weeks later my chest was back to normal. Maybe you could subtlety mention this as a side affect to your DH? It was bloody painful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone!

ShirkingFromHome95 · 13/01/2025 00:56

I vaped for years and never found it left a smell (never smoked inside, only vaped). It does however gum up windows.

ShirkingFromHome95 · 13/01/2025 00:59

It's not 'harmless' but the latest metastudy by Public Health England suggests at least 95% less harmful than smoking in the short/medium term. I used to take a couple of puffs every few minutes rather than once an hour like a smoker. Bear in mind that on average it takes 15 puffs on a vape to be equivalent to one puff on a fag in terms of nicotine.

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