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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To drag kids to witness history

93 replies

Wipingsides · 15/09/2022 14:41

DC 10 & 15. Not remotely interested in the pomp and ceremony around the queen's death. Neither is DH. I am not a huge royalist but we live quite close to a route the funeral car will be taking back to Windsor and I feel as a 'good parent' I should take them to see the car go past and witness history first hand. They however don't want to go when I've asked them. In reality I doubt they'll even sit through the funeral but I don't want them to look back when they're older and regret not being more involved in this period of time. AIBU to insist we go?

OP posts:
Royalbloo · 15/09/2022 18:37

Oh god. I'm getting so much shit from my abusive ex for not MAKING my 5yr old watch a funeral for someone she's never met, that she doesn't want to watch.

I've asked her and she wants to go and explore and have a picnic, not be sad about someone else's Mum dying. Ffs.

SleeplessInEngland · 15/09/2022 18:38

I really doubt they’ll be annoyed in the future that you didn’t take them. “Being part of history” is vastly overrated in the post-internet age.

waltzingparrot · 15/09/2022 18:39

I'm glad my mum took me to see the queen when I was 10. It's the only time I saw her and I do remember it.

Royalbloo · 15/09/2022 18:40

And it's the digital age. It's on catch up and will be forever. Such a melodrama/social media boast (just my opinion).

If you're going to do it, can you do it without posting? Then it might be meaningful. I'm sick of it and I adore the royals.

Damnautocorrect · 15/09/2022 18:42

I’m dragging mine.

there’s not a huge amount of protesting though. It’s something they will never see again and it’s a way of marking the end of an era

LastWordsOfALiar · 15/09/2022 18:43

I find that a bit distasteful to be honest. I'm not a royalist either, but she was a human being and it's a bit ick to think people would go out of some want to be seen as participating in "history".

If you want to mourn her death, go. But if you're going just because, then don't. It's pointless at best and exploitative at worst.

Your kids are right, none of you particularly care about her death, so don't pretend you do just because you live vaguely near the path her hurst will travel.

agriefobserved · 15/09/2022 18:43

I would take them, yes.

ChagSameachDoreen · 15/09/2022 18:47

I've been on MN too long. I thought this thread was about drag kids.

Mummydoingmybest · 15/09/2022 18:48

Wipingsides · 15/09/2022 14:41

DC 10 & 15. Not remotely interested in the pomp and ceremony around the queen's death. Neither is DH. I am not a huge royalist but we live quite close to a route the funeral car will be taking back to Windsor and I feel as a 'good parent' I should take them to see the car go past and witness history first hand. They however don't want to go when I've asked them. In reality I doubt they'll even sit through the funeral but I don't want them to look back when they're older and regret not being more involved in this period of time. AIBU to insist we go?

You’ve just said they’re not interested and why should they be? They’re kids ffs! Don’t be so ridiculous! Let them have a day to chill doing things kids should be doing.

Mummydoingmybest · 15/09/2022 18:50

Wipingsides · 15/09/2022 15:01

I guess I'm getting swept along with it all and have that ridiculous 'parental guilt' like I do about not going camping or other such 'wholesome family' activities.. fact is, we're not that family. I may be. But the rest of us aren't. So you're all quite right, why inflict it on them?! Thank you for giving my head a wobble.

How is is comparable to camping?! Jesus Christ!!

Johnnysgirl · 15/09/2022 18:50

They're not "witnessing history", by watching a car drive past. They're living through it, certainly. That's enough for most people.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 15/09/2022 18:54

The majority of young people don’t support the monarchy. I’d have gone mad if my parents tried to take me. I’d have refused point blank.

l don’t think they will care much about missing ‘history’

bellac11 · 15/09/2022 18:59

You see a lot more on the telly than in person. The atmosphere might not be quite the same but in terms of what you see and hear its much more educational

PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 15/09/2022 19:19

Royalbloo · 15/09/2022 18:37

Oh god. I'm getting so much shit from my abusive ex for not MAKING my 5yr old watch a funeral for someone she's never met, that she doesn't want to watch.

I've asked her and she wants to go and explore and have a picnic, not be sad about someone else's Mum dying. Ffs.

What a complete fucking weirdo.

Magnanimouse · 15/09/2022 19:21

Going to disagree. Being part of a family means doing things together that not all of the family want to do - surely there are other musts? What when 15 year old doesn't want to go to Auntie's wedding or decides go down the skate park when you're serving Christmas dinner?

Monday is yours to decide what the family do together; this needs to be balanced by other days when you get dragged along with the kids to follow their interests (can you offer something the following weekend?).

CurlyhairedAssassin · 15/09/2022 19:35

OP, they probably barely know any members of the Royal Family, or have any idea of the point of them. Not many young people do. If all this is so important to you you should be able to state your case for why it is such an important thing for them to do, let them listen and then decide. You can't just say "do you want want to go?" They have no interest in a concept that is completely alien to them. The 15 year old may even be anti-monarchy. You can't say their way is wrong and yours is right.

QueenWatevraWaNabi · 15/09/2022 19:41

At 10 and 15, they've still got the deaths of King Charles and King William ahead of them if they want to experience the death of a monarch.

Yubgftr · 15/09/2022 19:45

I keep hearing this 'witness history' phrase so much. Witness what exactly? A hearse going past for a few seconds? A closed coffin?

And what for? So in 50 years they can say to someone who's probably not that interested 'I watched the hearse whizz by and I queued up for hours to see a closed coffin. The end.'

It's just ridiculous. I can't believe people are getting such FOMO about all this.

Yubgftr · 15/09/2022 19:46

QueenWatevraWaNabi · 15/09/2022 19:41

At 10 and 15, they've still got the deaths of King Charles and King William ahead of them if they want to experience the death of a monarch.

Yeah put that one on the bucket list...

NiteCat · 15/09/2022 19:46

It'll be even funnier if it's revealed she wasn't in the coffin.

GreenManalishi · 15/09/2022 19:54

You go if you want to and let them be. You needn't feel guilty, their story is their story. They didn't want to go so they didn't. That's ok, life isn't a seventy year box ticking excercise.

QueSyrahSyrah · 15/09/2022 19:57

Go on your own and soak it up without worrying about them being bored / fractious / annoying.

I was 14 when Princess Diana died. I didn't give a toss at the time and I feel absolutely no regret about it 25 years later.

VestaTilley · 15/09/2022 20:15

Go yourself to pay your respects as the cortège goes by. Leave your DH and DC at home.

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 15/09/2022 20:34

YABU.

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 15/09/2022 20:34

YABU.