TV incompatibility

[ExHack]

OH only likes to watch old black and white films (1940s era), sports and documentaries. I HATE most of those old films but will watch them with him and try to find something good about it.

However, when it's "my turn" to choose a film he watches for five minutes then goes into the kitchen to make tea and says "don't pause it"… Last night I said "I don't want you to miss anything" and he said "I don't think I'm going to get into this one" and then sat with his laptop and headphones on while I watched the film. (It was Babe, incidentally—I wanted something cheerful after watching the Queen's proceedings all day.)

I know I can watch it on my own but part of the fun of films is sharing them, which is why I "suffer" through the old black and white ones. I think he should make a similar effort!

Is he making you suffer through his stuff or are you choosing to? Maybe stop being a martyr, sorry!

I like tacky Netflix rom coms, crime dramas and docs. My H likes historical docs, horror, & stuff like GOT etc.
We cross over on classic b&w movies, Marvel films, & sci-fi. So we watch those together, the rest separately. Sometimes in the same room,

My husband and I have very different taste in films and TV! We would never suffer through watching anything just for the sake of being together. We find mutual things we like (and it can be hard!) Or we take turns with the TV while the other one does something else. Works well for us, I would hate my husband to feel he has to watch something with me and he feels the same!
Honestly though, Babe sounds like hard going for a man with his kind of taste! Just as his stuff does for you - I'd stop trying to watch it tbh! Enjoy some alone time :)

@iwantasandwich

Colour films have been widely used since the early 50s Black and white isn't what most older people are used to. And OP says her DH likes films from the 40s which would make him significantly older than 60 if that was what he was used to.

Life is too short to watch some shit on TV that you're not interested in. If DH wants to watch something, I will happily go and read or have a bath or whatever. There's nothing fun about sitting with someone who is clearly bored!

We only watch mutually agreed upon films together! Watch all others on our own as our tastes can be quite different.

We are another couple who will sit in different rooms if we don't fancy the same thing. The biggest problem falls on the dog who has to decide who to sit with!

Watching something that you have no interest in seems completely pointless to me and I can see how arguments or resentment can creep in.

All dp watches is masterchef, police camera action and sport. I like mostly box sets, (good dramas of the HBO or channel 4 variety) and for comfort, modern family. We very rarely watch Tv together outside of football and if we do it's something he likes (or else we might occasionally compromise on gogglebox).
I watch a lot less TV since we got together which is probably a good thing but sometimes I do miss sitting down and getting really into something and then being able to discuss it afterwards.

Yabu if he doesn’t make you suffer his B&W movies, as in this case you are just martyring yourself.

DH and I sit and watch different things all the while, he goes upstairs to watch his old films and sports and I watch box sets and stuff I like downstairs, or we do other stuff, we rarely watch TV together

We watch a few things together like House of the Dragon, Gogglebox, Line of Duty and we did watch Thor last weekend which was ok- not totally my thing but I don’t mind it. I wouldn’t sit watching something I had no interest in though and neither does dh- I watch all the reality show rubbish I like on my own

I wouldn't sit and watch DH's fishing documentaries or awful cheap horror films if you paid me!

Likewise, he wouldn't sit and watch my trashy reality crap either

We just sit and watch TV in different rooms. Our shared hobbies and interests are generally out of the house so it's nice to have time alone/apart at home so we can both just relax.

I forgot DH's fishing documentaries, he recorded loads onto the Skybox and DVDs, they are the absolute worse.

I love some black and white films too. There are some fabulous ones

Well, I agree with you OP that it's nice to sit and watch TV together in the evening. But your tastes seem to be more different than mine and DH's so I'm not sure of the solution. I don't think either of you should be sitting through something you hate!

🤭 We changed to a colour TV when I was 10 in the late 1960's, we changed to decimalisation in the early '70's. I got used to our 'new money' within a couple of months, I got used to colour TV within a couple of days!

Who are these older people that are still used to black and white TV's and films please@Chikapu?

My parents were both in the armed services, and died within the last 12 years, they were the ones who bought the colour TV in our household. They managed to adjust to it just as quickly as me, maybe even quicker. My Maternal Grandfather (born in the 19th C.) got a colour TV a short while after us, he and my Grandmother immediately preferred the colour TV to their old - rented - black and white television.

Even though they had both died by the year 1984, and they had only been watching colour TV for about 6 and 14 years respectively, they were both very used to colour television programmes, and films. If my DGrandfather was alive now, he would be about 130 years old.

Exactly how old do you think @ExHack's husband is Chikapu??

Nobody should sit through something they hate. I say that as somebody who loves old black and white movies (born 1979). I'm perfectly aware most of the people of my age do not like them so I usually watch them alone.

On the other hand he likes cheap horrors I hate and I'm too scared to watch. I wouldn't be too impressed if he tried to persuade me to watch them.

It is nice to find something you can watch together.

I don't know! I find them dull. He also usually refuses to watch anything that has an American actor in it, so that narrows the field considerably.

My issue is that he doesn't know if he likes them because he's never seen them and won't give it a fair chance.

With me, I usually don't like the black and white movies but every once in a while a really good one comes along so I try to be open-minded.

Er… no, he's 62 and I'm 58!

Who are these older people that are still used to black and white TV's and films please@Chikapu?

You've quoted the wrong person, I never said that.