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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to stop redirecting this post?

26 replies

Halli2020 · 15/09/2022 10:57

I'm a housing association tenant in the UK and in April I swapped my home with another social housing tenant. If you don't know what this means then for example any social housing/Council tenant can swap to another home anywhere.

So, I viewed this ladies house we liked each others properties and moved 5 months ago. We were in regular contact discussing the process step by step as there was some paperwork involved etc and she seemed quite pleasant. So after the move I started getting her post, she said if I get anything then to pass it onto the neighbour so I did this for around 6 weeks,she came to collect. I would get about 10 letters per week and they were obvious debt letters with bright house, carphone etc. As time went on I didn't here from her anymore but a couple times debt collectors turned up at the door. I return all post to sender now. I sent her an email yesterday saying can she please redirect post because I'm getting important court documents sent to me etc, I was quite annoyed really because I changed my address with all companies before we moved. She said can I pass it onto the neighbour again and she will come and collect??

Aibu to not do this after 5 months, surely she could've sorted this by now considering it's debt etc? What would you do? I just feel like she's taking the piss abit.

OP posts:
TeachesOfPeaches · 15/09/2022 10:59

She doesn't want the debt collectors to know her new address. Contact the companies and let them know she doesn't live there anymore.

cstaff · 15/09/2022 11:01

In future I would make a point of putting her new address on it with "forward to" or something similar. She obviously doesn't want to receive this mail but this should not be your problem especially if you are going to be getting bailiffs and similar callers to your house.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 15/09/2022 11:03

She doesn’t want to get this post, obviously! She’s doing an ostrich, ooo I haven’t got my bills so I don’t have to pay them.

you are right to send them back, but in my experience not much happens when you do, I think they or the Post Office just chuck them in the bin. I think you need to contact the senders by email or post ( perhaps phone as well, but you need a record of the communication) telling them that you have exchanged houses and giving them her new address. You don’t want the debt collectors turning up at your house.

Keroppi · 15/09/2022 11:07

Shove them all in a box under a sink somewhere and stop delivering to neighbour and stop messaging her! When they've built up you could write RTS or Not Known on them and put them all back in the postbox but honestly I wouldn't bother, she won't pick them up from the neighbour and she doesn't want to receive them it seems! Under the sink they stay.

LadyDanburysHat · 15/09/2022 11:25

If you see your postie you can ask them to stop them too. A few weeks after we moved in our postie was at the door with a parcel and asked me if I wanted him to stop the post for the previous occupant. I think as the house had been empty for 6 months too, he knew they were long gone.

Original poster
Halli2020 · 15/09/2022 11:33

Would you tell the companies her new address or just notify them she doesn't live here?

OP posts:
cstaff · 15/09/2022 11:35

TBH I would give them her new address but I can be a bitch like that. Also, it is the only definite way of getting them off your back. She has made no effort to have her address changed so she deserves whatever consequences come her way. Not your issue.

nachoavocado · 15/09/2022 11:37

Halli2020 · 15/09/2022 11:33

Would you tell the companies her new address or just notify them she doesn't live here?

I wouldn't personally. I can see why others would though. I'd just be like, doesn't live here stop pestering me.

Original poster
Halli2020 · 15/09/2022 12:01

@cstaff its so tempting 🤣 but I don't want it coming back on me as she knows my address iyswim

OP posts:
ChiefWiggumsBoy · 15/09/2022 12:02

YANBU, and this is the exact reason the woman we bought our house from didn't give us her new address.

She's an idiot, she's still going to get CCJs and defaults; I think she's under the impression that bad credit is attached to the property not the person. We've had bailiffs and even the police round after her Hmm

She was in contact when I got a letter about her benefits and contacted the Jobcentre to let them know her address was wrong.

HappyHamsters · 15/09/2022 12:05

Redirect it to the housing association and let them know

Original poster
Halli2020 · 15/09/2022 12:06

The list goes on, I've had so many letters from about 6 different companies. One letter from County Court for her and her partner. It's bothering me to the point I'm considering moving myself. I had to change my number when we moved also as she would constantly text me asking for information about how to top up the gas and electric. I left a list of all numbers she should call and what to do. She even asked me to get her a doctors form 🤣

OP posts:
ChiefWiggumsBoy · 15/09/2022 12:06

If I had her address btw I'd definitely share it. I wasn't very impressed with having a bailiff show up to claim goods Hmm

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 15/09/2022 12:12

You're seriously considering moving because of post?!

YABU about that. Don't be silly. Just bin it all if it's annoying you that much and block the woman from contacting you. You're not her PA.

Original poster
Halli2020 · 15/09/2022 12:16

@ChiefWiggumsBoy well that was an over exaggeration on my part we are thinking of moving due to other reasons too but this has sort of magnified it a bit as I have a baby son and can't be having police / debt collectors at my door

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 15/09/2022 12:44

I had this in a house we rented for 6 months. In the end I sat for an hour and called everybody and said no longer living here, please update your records. It did reduce things to a trickle rather than a flood and if I got the odd one through I just stuck it back in the post box when I was going with a line through it. It's really annoying. They will catch up with her 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
Halli2020 · 15/09/2022 12:46

She has emailed me today asking if I can be in this morning to pick up the post. I said no, it's all returned to sender this shouldn't be happening after 5 months. The cheek to ask me to stay in for her!

OP posts:
gelert5619 · 15/09/2022 13:00

What a frustrating situation! Although you are moving, please check your credit score soon as it's possible that you could have been named as a poor credit risk due to living in the same house. It does happen. Good luck.

ILoveYoga · 15/09/2022 13:18

You know her address, write “forward to …” and put your old address. She won’t know it was you nor would the companies/court.

you’ll not get anymore post after each place has had the list returned or otherwise notified as usually court papers etc will not actually be forwarded but returned to sender (usually have a “do not forward” on the envelope) and then they’ll see the forwarding address once returned to sender .

you no longer have to have anything to do with this flat swap lady. You've already told her no to coming for the post and that you’ve had enough. Just stick with that.

One if the great things I learned reading mumsnet is that no is a complete sentence

cstaff · 15/09/2022 15:13

I would email her again and tell her that if her crap still keeps arriving at your house that you will return to sender with her new address on it. That might shut her the F_ up.

girlmom21 · 15/09/2022 15:26

I'd contact the companies individually and tell them she doesn't live there and you have no forwarding address.

SquishyGloopyBum · 16/09/2022 08:09

Tell them her address. It's the only way.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 16/09/2022 08:10

gelert5619 · 15/09/2022 13:00

What a frustrating situation! Although you are moving, please check your credit score soon as it's possible that you could have been named as a poor credit risk due to living in the same house. It does happen. Good luck.

No it doesn’t. Credit is linked to people not properties.

I grant you though this is why people move and don’t give forwarding addresses - they think it’ll never catch up to them!

Cw112 · 16/09/2022 08:13

I'd return to sender with no longer at this address written on the envelope. I wouldn't have any more contact with her, she knows how to get in touch with the companies if she needs to and its her responsibility I wouldn't be taking that on. I'd leave it with the neighbour this time but say to the neighbour that's the last time you'll drop it round.

Original poster
Halli2020 · 16/09/2022 09:38

So she's stopped replying and I've notified companies she doesn't live here. I've decided anymore I will give an address, any bailiffs come to the door I will give the address just to cover myself more than anything. Thank you all for your opinions!! I felt like I was the one in the wrong for not doing this

OP posts: