To ask your children’s experience of wraparound

[coralpig]

My children are preschool age and have been attending nursery part time since a you age where they are happy and settled. I was a teacher and left about a year ago for a breather and now work as a private tutor part time. It’s been a dip in income but better for my health. I had planned to go full time when my children reach school age.

Im now reading more about wraparound and school hours and feel that school doesn’t suddenly make things less complicated but potentially less for working parents. I miss working with others and have contemplated going back to my old job or a similar full time job but it would mean long days for my children at school and Wraparound.

Has anybody been in a similar position where they have had the choice of a ‘lesser’ (less fulfilling/ less well paid) job to allow for school pick up vs career development but full time wraparound .Can you share the impact of any on your children?

what doesn’t help is that I have memories of being jealous of my friends whose parents picked them up and were present for school events as mine were always working so I am definitely projecting.

So as not to drip feed- no local family who can help with pick up. No flexibility in DP job. Unlikely to be able to get a teaching job that is part time from the offset so I’d have to be full time for at least a year or so

There is a space in between, I think. I've always worked full-time (as does my dp) so had a wonderful childminder who the DC went to before and after school. They were happy there, and seem entirely undamaged by the experience.

But, I've always been careful to have someone attend their school events. Either me or do would take leave, or we would ask a gp to attend.

DC will always find something to be a bit jealous of. Dc of working parents might feel jealous that they aren't picked up by their parents, but equally dc of sah parents may feel jealous of not being able to afford to join activities, have the same holidays etc. There are positives and negatives to every situation.

Why is there no flexibility in you partner's job? Assuming you are in the UK he has the same right to request flexible working as anyone else.

I chose to work a zero hours contract with flexible working from home so I can be there for my dc before and after school and can attend their events.

I am in the fortunate position that dh's career supports us and dh feels the same as I that we would rather someone be there for the dc.

Similarly, I have friends who've used before and after school care. Their dc are happy and well rounded. I think you have to look at your own circumstances and see what works best for your family.

Slightly different situation to most people as both my children have learning difficulties so wraparound care is non existent. My DH and I have both had to tailor our work around doing all the school runs as we have no family help either.

Tbh it has had a positive impact on our mental health as when the kids were in nursery we were working v long hours (especially my husband). It has been really hard to get these arrangements in place.

So I guess what I'm saying is think creatively about the situation.

Some jobs are by nature more flex than others.
I used to teach full time and now do a different job full time. My new job allows me to drop off every day and pick up twice a week with no reduction in pay etc.
That level of involvement with my children’s school would have been impossible whilst I was teaching even with schools becoming slightly more open to flexible working.

Slightly different lens here but I had a single working mother and went to a childminder before and after school.

It was perfectly fine, I didn't know any different. I don't remember being jealous of people who had SAHPs.

From 11-12ish I was a 'latchkey kid' which was the term used by the media to make mothers feel guilty.

That was also fine. In fact, I loved having some time to relax on my own after school!

We both work 4 days a week so use wraparound for 3 days. I think kids vary and the quality of wraparound care varies too.

The wraparound at my son's school is run in house, they provide a hot meal, they get to choose between sports, crafts, books, boardgames or free play in playground. He is very social so his experience has varied depending on the other kids - he made good friends with a girl from the year above and begged to go more days to see her - but then she left and he wanted to be home instead... And now his best friend is going and he is super happy about it.

I haven't found the after school time particularly quality time on the day I do it, if I am honest, I enjoy much more the time in the morning

I went back and forth on this decision a lot this year because my DD has just started reception.
We have no family in this country.
DH has a 'big job' with less flexibility.
I was fortunate and have found a job working from home, it is school hours- although not term time only so we will need to use holiday clubs.
It was hard to get the balance between very much wanting to have a career again but also wanting to be able to do pick up and drop off...

TBH I would have disliked being dropped off and picked up and my DM being 'involved' in school.

Not sure why everyone assumes this is the 'ideal'. I'm sure it is for some DC but I'd have hated having a SAHP at home waiting for me to come in to ask me questions about my day or turning up to help at events and sports day...

I have worked 3 days a week since 2014. I have 4 children. I have a decent job but company won't consider any sort of promotion or even sideways move unless I went full time which I don't want to do.
My job post covid is now fully from home with maybe a monthly visit to the office. Pre covid my husband worked from home on two of my work days so he always did the school runs and I used to finish early on the other day
Now we are both wfh and share the school runs and it's lovely to be honest
But all children are different. My 3rd child used to beg to go to after school club even though he didn't need to go just because 90% of his friends went there and he felt like he was missing out. He does do a couple of after school clubs so gets to do that. The others used the beg not to have to go and were even a nightmare about going to holiday day club for a few days in summer
If I did go full time the extra money would be lovely but we're OK as we are and our youngest is only just starting school so we are going to stay as we are for now and for the first time in forever I'll have some time to do house stuff without a child at home on my days off which will help us massively as a family with time

Both DH and I work full time. However, we aren't in those jobs that demands a lot of hours. We work more or less the 37.5 hours contracted. We both have flexibility. The children were in wraparound full time care but one of us is always there for their sports day and navitity. We are also there for dinner and homework and bath. They are both happy with full time nursery and childminder.

Full time job doesn't mean full on high powered careers.

Depending on your area, could you do supply teaching? I have a friend (in London where there is a lot of demand) signed up with an agency and availability set to 3 days a week and she enjoys it, tends to get the same schools again and again so she does get to know people but it does mean you don't have the same relationship with the kids in the class

DD went to a childminder as the after school club was quite a noisy envrionment and she preferred the smaller group

I think DD didn't really thought much about it in the beginning but I do know that it made a difference when her friends started after school activities which were earlier than 6pm. So DD couldn't join Rainbows, ballet or other ones.

We changed hours when she was in Y2 and DH took her one day (working onhis laptop while sitting in the waiting area of the gymnastic hall) and I shortened my hours so I only did 4 days.

That meant we didn't have to cramp everything into the weekend as other friends of us did.

It got easier when she was older and start times for activities moved more into early evening.

Op.im in exactly your position. Imo tutoring is great for young kids. I do.local authority tutoring in the day time and some evenings. Sorry its not about your question but it works well

It very much depends on what job you're going into I think. I'm presuming in teaching there is no give with holidays. So you can't take the half day or finish early/go in late to attend school events.

DH and I both work full time. DH does compressed hours and also works on Saturdays, so he has 2 weekdays off. I work from home and have flexi-time. These things combined allow us to do the school runs between us. I can log off to collect my DC from school and log back on later.

It has taken us time to get to this point (youngest DS is 7YO). The DC used to go to a childminder after school that they enjoyed. She used to take them to the park on the way out of school and my kids still ask if they can go to the park on the way home! We have always made a point of one of us being there for school events. We've only had to ask our parents to attend one sports day when I had a job interview and DH couldn't get the time off.

We have had to make sacrifices to achive this as well. I find WFH isolating at times. Especially at the moment. I have looked at other jobs, but we have come to rely on the extra income we're not spending on wraparound care or commuting costs. Me going back to the office would make us a minimum of £800 per month worse off.

DH has a HGV license and he has been offered ridiculous sums of money to work at alternative employers in recent years. But they would all mean longer days, less flexibility and not being there for the kids as much. He's always said he would prefer to be here as much as he can for the DC while they are young.

Depends on the kids too. Some kids enjoy after school club some don't.
My DSC were in full time and really didn't like it at all but parents had no choice. DSD in particular really disliked going.
Knowing their feelings made me reluctant to put DD in for more than absolutely necessary. She went one day a week - and hated it! She couldn't eat the food offered and would rather have been at home. So, for us, it was a necessary evil. DD now at High School and I work mostly from home..
Luckily both mine and DH work has always been flexible enough to cover illness, sports days, etc.

DH and I follow a complicated system of compressed hours (term time) and unpaid leave (during the summer holidays) so that we can get away with just 2 days of after school club. It's a nightmare to organise, and we are incredibly lucky with our employers.

I've turned down job offers with more money but less flexibility - as long as you're not struggling for money, don't feel guilty about putting your own happiness and your DC's first! Equally, if what works best for you as a family, your DC will likely be absolutely fine in wraparound, and there are other options like a childminder if they can't cope with ASC.

Eldest does wraparound, and has done since first proper week of reception. He loves it and I really trust the staff there (he's been doing it 3 years now).

At our school, wraparound breakfast club and afterschool-club are run by some of the school's TAs so he already knew their faces, and the transition between school day and wraparound is really smooth for him. He's made friends with kids up and down the year groups and has been really positive for his confidence. At breakfast club, ours starts at 7:30am and they get a choice of cereals/toasts/crumpets etc. Afterschool club includes a snack and also a dinner/tea at 4:30pm and runs up to 6pm (we collect at 5;30pm though). School also run after school clubs, like football/rugby/dance etc. which start at school finish time (3:15) and DS has attended those and then his afterschool club simply come and collect him and take him along to have his tea, so he hasn't missed out on being able to join clubs thankfully.

I have some flex in my role, so I've managed to work my hours so that he does breakfast club only 3 days a week and after-school club 3 days per week. We luckily have GPs nearby that collect after school the other days. DH is a teacher, so he has absolutely no flex at all.

My mum was a teacher and I liked that I got holidays with her and I liked playing with other children at wrap around care; I thought other people must be bored.
I now have children in primary school and DD moans about after school club but then enjoys it once she’s there. My only thought is that there’s lots of events in reception year where they ask if you can go in which might be tricky. Would it be an option to try and teach at the school they go to unless you’re a secondary school teacher?
we need my job for the income so there wasn’t masses of choice for us.

Thank you for the responses.

Tutoring for the local authority is something I’ve heard of but not explored fully. In terms of flexibility of teaching - not very although my previous school was good at allowing some time off for these events. I’m secondary trained - not averse to leaving teaching altogether but the appeal of the school holidays definitely has something going for it!
lots of food for thought here

My daughter is in Y2 and has done breakfast club and after school club since reception 4 days a week, we make sure we drop her off and pick her up on Fridays. She loves her time there! She get's to play with friends, do loads of arts and crafts, we sometimes get told off for picking her up too early as she was having too much fun to come home :-D she also goes there for holiday club too.
Our wrap around is next to the school which makes it all very easy, she's used to longer days as has always been in nursery.

Can’t you do supply work part time? Tell the agency you’re only available Monday-Wed for example?

Mine did full time nursery since babies and then full time wrap around. They were fine and seemed to enjoy it. In hindsight they did have the benefit of having the sort of "busy" personalities that suited a lot of external stimulation. They go a bit loopy if we spend too much time at home (lockdown was fun...) Conversely, as a child I was a real homebody and liked being at home with my mum more than anything, so it may not have suited me but luckily my mum worked around school hours.

The other thing I will say is that if they have not been used to doing a long day then they may find it very tiring even if they enjoy it. Mine didn't, I think because they had always done it. But friends said their kids were exhausted by the end of a term of school + wraparound. (Mine went straight into holiday club and were fine!) But as you are a teacher I guess your kids would get a complete break from external childcare in the holidays which will balance things out.

As a PP has pointed out, one issue is no longer being able to attend their school events (as you'll not be able to take term time off or sneak out for an hour while WFH like I do). That might be quite tough although could their dad do this? Grandparents? Godparent?

Haha, I agree. On another thread about teenagers, there was a poster who talked about being lonely after school as a teen and wanting to chat to her mum, I honestly couldn't imagine anything worse as a teenager than coming home to chat to my mum. But it just goes to show that all children are different.

And also all wraparound care is different as well - I really like that the wraparound at my son's school has lots of options, kids can chill by themselves and read a book if they want but they call also do organised sports or crafts or whatever.