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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to just want to stay at home?

27 replies

Senderandme · 14/09/2022 20:58

So this comes off the back of covid I think, although I was a homebody before. Aibu to want to spend most of my time at home or somewhere quiet with my DH and DD. I have worked at home since covid started and this is now permanent. I have noticed that although I don’t have social anxiety in any way, and I can be very sociable if I need to be, when it’s my choice, I just want to stay at home. I don’t like going to places where loads of people are and would be happy if I didn’t have to see anyone else! Aibu? Is this normal?!

OP posts:
Wibbly1008 · 14/09/2022 21:04

I could have written this! I love staying in and vegging out . I like people and I’m sociable but just love staying home more now I’m older.

DenholmElliot1 · 14/09/2022 21:08

It's ok to have a preference yes. It's only a problem if you stay home when you should be at A and E getting medical attention for your dd or stuff like that.

GreenClock · 14/09/2022 21:10

Wibbly1008 · 14/09/2022 21:04

I could have written this! I love staying in and vegging out . I like people and I’m sociable but just love staying home more now I’m older.

Agree

FlissyPaps · 14/09/2022 21:13

Absolutely nothing wrong with preferring to staying at home, just as long as your DD doesn’t miss out on any opportunities her peers would go to/experience.

Lochjeda · 14/09/2022 21:14

You can if you want but its a bit of a boring life really and not really living is it.

Catsolitude · 14/09/2022 21:15

Oh gosh yes. I can spend a whole day WFH and have a really busy day, but I’m nowhere near as exhausted as I would be having to see people in the flesh! I like to just potter around in my own little home

NuffSaidSam · 14/09/2022 21:15

Of course YANBU. As long as it doesn't interfere with family life or limit your DD then it's fine.

NuffSaidSam · 14/09/2022 21:17

Lochjeda · 14/09/2022 21:14

You can if you want but its a bit of a boring life really and not really living is it.

Doing something that you like and makes you happy isn't really living?

That's quite an odd way to look at life!

What's real living then? Doing something you don't like that makes you miserable? Misery is real living?

BatshitBanshee · 14/09/2022 21:22

Not at all. I love my home and I love being at home with my daughter and husband. We go out for plenty of walks and family time but I would say that I deliberately pick quieter times just because I think it's a nicer experience, I find crowds and noise too overstimulating.

Lindy2 · 14/09/2022 21:25

I think if you're just sitting watching TV all day then it's not a good situation.

If you're doing a range of activities like baking, reading, gardening, crosswords, crafts etc - whatever takes your particular fancy, then that's fine. You're staying active and engaging your brain, it just so happens to be mostly within your home.

You need to make sure you get some exercise though - it's easy not to move much if you're at home the whole time.

I still like going out but I've noticed that when I'm home I'm quite content pottering about. I think lockdown taught us how to be content with just staying in.

PigglePuggle · 14/09/2022 21:26

You sound just like me. I always thought I was abnormal until a few years ago when we did some personality testing at work and I found out I was an off the scale introvert - suddenly everything made sense!

OriginalUsername2 · 14/09/2022 21:31

Same here! Big homebody. My favourite people are here, it’s comfy, my things are here, we have an outdoor space.. I can walk around with my resting bitch face and no bra on without offending anyone 😂

Even when I do go out I like to be where other people aren’t. Early early mornings and that bit of the evening when most people are eating their dinner are the best times to go out into the world! School run times and weekends are the worst.

Escapetothecountryplease · 14/09/2022 21:34

Totally fine and all power of you deciding to do you, not succumbing to the pressure to do whatever everybody else wants to do.

I feel much the same

As long as there's something a bit different every month or so like theatre / beach day or meet friends in the pub, then definitely I'd prefer to spend the majority of time at home

Ambertonix · 14/09/2022 21:36

Have you heard of 'Slow Living' OP? It is a whole lifestyle of taking things easy, living in the moment, not sweating the small stuff and appreciating everything around you. I practice this. I rarely go out. I spend my time quietly reading, watching a box set, taking a long bath, baking etc. Im retired though so i can afford to dedicate my time to this without having to earn a living. People i have watched on youtube hold down full time jobs though.

Chipsahoy · 14/09/2022 21:40

That’s me. Moved to the middle of nowhere. I go out for sure. Often. Most days for a little bit. But mostly I’m at home. Plenty to be done at home. Cooking. Cleaning. Gardening. Children. Resting, yoga, exercise bike, crafting, taking care of hens. Canning fruit. Slow is soothing.

DrManhattan · 14/09/2022 21:47

It's your life. There isn't a quiz at the end to see if you did it right. Do what you enjoy

Lou98 · 14/09/2022 21:54

I love being at home too! Definitely not BU unless you also expect your DH and DD to stay in with you

Original poster
Senderandme · 14/09/2022 21:56

So im not alone then! I think there is a lot of pressure to be a social person in society, an expedition that it’s normal. But maybe it isn’t. I guess I asked the question because I’ve always felt guilty of feeling this way, like I Should be doing something differently. Maybe as I’ve got older I don’t care so much what people think! I’ll have a look into slow living@Ambertonix thank you! And no I don’t sit around watching tv! I work, garden, cook/ bake etc and go out a few times a day for school run and a walk /gym, it’s just I can’t be arsed with being around people in don’t know.

OP posts:
marmaladepop · 14/09/2022 22:14

I loved lockdown #1 so much I thought I was in heaven! We don't realise the social pressures we have until it's forced away. I love my four walls too. And a 'party for one' (glass of wine, nibbles, dips), with only my dog to think about was bliss. Before lockdown I'd have felt a bit of a freak. Now I just think it is who I am. I dont like big social events and am no longer going to force myself to do them.

DaisyChristina · 14/09/2022 22:21

I'm like this too, I love being at home.

If I am meeting anyone I prefer it to be one to one.

I do enjoy swimming and walking beside the sea though.

VioletInsolence · 14/09/2022 22:24

It’s not really natural to be around people we don’t know. We’re meant to live in tribes with people we know and we’d never have been in constant contact with lots of strangers. I think it puts us on high alert. That said it isn’t natural to be alone with immediate family either but it’s better than being with strangers.

This is a lovely channel and YouTube is full of similar ones:

Oysterbabe · 14/09/2022 22:28

Similar really. I do a normal amount of stuff I think, plenty of days out, holidays and such, but I'm happiest at home.

justusandmoo · 14/09/2022 22:31

VioletInsolence · 14/09/2022 22:24

It’s not really natural to be around people we don’t know. We’re meant to live in tribes with people we know and we’d never have been in constant contact with lots of strangers. I think it puts us on high alert. That said it isn’t natural to be alone with immediate family either but it’s better than being with strangers.

This is a lovely channel and YouTube is full of similar ones:

Thanks for sharing this. Love these sort of Vlogs. Another great one is Nami's Life 😁😁

JamSandle · 14/09/2022 22:44

We are all different. If you're happy, you're happy.

I think it's different being socially anxious and not being able to go out versus being a homebody who loves being in their happy place.

user1471554720 · 14/09/2022 23:13

I love staying in and not going places. I am 50 with two tweens and wfh fulltime. I take dcs to activities most evenings after work. I choose to spend time at home catching uo with housework, going for a run, reading etc. I only watch the news on tv as I don't have time.

I can understand it can be unhealthy if you live alone, do no exercise and watch tv all day. However, if I had to socialise on top of all I already do, I would be exhausted and that defeats the whole purpose of it.