AIBU that I feel disappointed in myself for how I feel now I've passed my driving test

[newdriverworries]

Hi all, really don't know if this is the right topic to post under but I need some advice... NC'd mostly because I'm embarrassed.

So, I passed my driving test almost a month ago (I know not that long) and got a second hand car not that long after. It's small and mine and does what I need it to but is very different to the one I learnt in.
I have been pushing myself to do a little drive almost every day even though I'm REALLY anxious about going out and about. Thankfully, it's a low speed limit nearly everywhere around here but I live in a city so it's lots of traffic.

My AIBU is about how I feel about myself. I can't stop worrying about the car and if I've put the handbrake on and it's going to roll away! Or because I don't know how to check loads of things the car is not safe to drive. Or just how hesitant I am and too scared to go to loads of the places I drove on my lessons. I'm so frustrated with myself!

Will it get better? What can I do to help myself? I don't live near family for them to show me the ropes and while I live near friends and a nice community they've all got enough on and probably don't want to listen to me go on about how I'm scared to do the most simple things...

Firstly congratulations on passing your test and having your own car.
If you can’t find a friend to sit with you for a few short drives, how about paying your instructor to go out with you? It won’t be the first time they’ll have been asked.

It gets better the more you practice OP. I too was very anxious when I first past. I did only short trips to Tesco for a while. I had to turn the radio off at each junction to concentrate properly. 6 years on I'm driving everywhere, across the country for hours, singing along to songs the whole way.

It's normal to feel a bit nervous dont be hard on yourself. You just need to keep on driving little by little and you'll gain confidence. If you don't it turns into a big thing in your head and you'll never do it.

Congratulations on passing your test!

You will only get better by driving. Think of all the money you've spent, the freedom you've paid for. Go for a drive every day.

Totally normal! Driving lessons teach you how to operate a car, you learn to drive after you've passed (not quite accurate but there's a lot in it). With time and practice it'll come. Just keep going out whenever you can. The worst thing is to stop.

Well done for passing your test! They don’t make it easy nowadays.

You’re not alone with this, it’s a big enough thing that plenty of instructors offer lessons for people who’ve just passed to build up confidence.

Ultimately you will have to face the feeling of going far out of your comfort zone, you’re already doing a good thing by making sure you practice every day.

To be honest, you could do with going for a long drive. Have you considered Pass Plus? It's about 6 hours. I did mine all in one day, by travelling from my home town to Staines and back, which involved motorways, dual carriageways, etc.

Remember your pass certificate deems you safe to be on the roads!
Congratulations op! It really is life changing!

Have you done a long drive yet?

Sometimes, short drives are full of stress and worry, that by the time you've settled, you're where you need to be, so you never get to relax into driving.

A long drive, to get used to the car, with no time pressure can be great.

In terms of the hand brake, you're probably doing this on autopilot and then freaking because you can't remember. Would saying aloud 'right handbrake on - keys, purse check!' help to confirm in your head you did it.

Car maintenance. Check your service history, and schedule a winter health check for peace of mind. Pop in your diary, once a week/fortnightly/monthly to do the basics - check lights, fluids, tyre tread and pressure.

Otherwise, it'll make a noise, feel weird, engine management will come on, or a combination of them. Depending on the age, many cars are quite good at successfully failing for a lack of a better way of putting it. Limp mode kicks in, starting prevented. Someone will correct me I'm sure, but I think some even will detect an issue in the braking system and warn you - in regards to your brake wear, it sounds horrendous you know they need looking at 😁

Congratulations on passing. How you are feeling is very normal. It just takes time and as you are doing, keep doing little journeys to get used to the feel of the car. I was terrified of my car when I got it (got it a year after passing so was very anxious and out of practice). Used to eye it out the window and have palpitations. I did use my P plates which definitely helped if I was hesitant or stalled, I noticed when I took them off and made a mistake people tooted. Didn’t even know how to fill up with petrol. Got the bus to work one day as accidentally put steering lock on and thought I’d broke it.

You could get up early and head out before the traffic gets busy to try new routes.

One day you will look back and be so glad you persevered, it really does become second nature after a while.

If you can afford it get your instructor to take you out.
You tube videos for basic car maintenance??

Well done!

It will get so much better in time. I don’t think anyone really knows how to drive when they pass their test. It’s all about experience and that comes with time and practice. So try to get out as need to, don’t avoid it.

I’ve been driving for 28 years now, God I’m old, and it’s really automatic now, I don’t even think about it, but I was very nervous for the first couple of years after driving and manoeuvres like parallel parking and reversing were very nerve wracking, as was driving on fast roads.

Still not mad keen on driving abroad or in large unfamiliar cities and motorways, so I don’t think that will ever leave me, but the more you practice the better you will get. Just keep at it little and often!

Well done on passing your test - I was the same re nervousness - this was compounded by Princess Diana’s fatal crash the day after I passed ☹️ Plus I had to get on the road to get up to Uni - The feeling wore off after a few runs - good luck and happy motoring 👍🏿☘️

Just keep going out, it does get better :) (I have been the person who forgot to put the handbrake on tho, and it did roll away 🤦‍♀️ - so I always leave it in gear or reverse now!)

Well done on passing. It's quite normal to be a bit anxious afterwards, as it's weird being in total control when you are used to having someone who can brake for you.

All I can say is practice, practice, practice, in particular parking and reversing! The amount of people that won't reverse into a parking space years later because they have always driven in is astonishing (and it is much easier to reverse park into a tight space). Go to empty car parks and practice if necessary, get comfortable with your car

Thank you all! It's encouraging not to be the only one... I like the idea if putting in my diary for regular checks and I think a winter service will do wonders at putting my mind at ease too. I'll see where best to book that.
I have done one long drive and that was to drive the car back to where I live so about 70 miles. I had someone with me and that helped I think but slept for ages when I got home😅
Pass plus sounds like a plan too. I'll look into prices around me.