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Original poster

To say we become more shy and reserved as we grow older?

58 replies

Janie94 · 14/09/2022 16:43

Maybe it's just me, but Ive recently realised how I have become increasingly more shy as I've got older.
I feel embarrassed and put on the spot when someone asks me a direct question, even if it's something like "how's your little girl doing?" Which sounds mad.
If people have a joke, and it's not even at my expense, I go red!

Maybe it's because of lockdown, maybe it's because I have a smaller social circle nowadays, maybe I've just always been shy .. does anyone feel the same?

OP posts:
Caroffee · 14/09/2022 18:48

I think I've become quieter and more reserved. Many young people appear over-excitable, boisterous and attention-seeking to me now. Not sure about becoming more shy. I care less what other people think of me now I'm older and that's the way it should be.

Smartiepants79 · 14/09/2022 18:48

Have to say it’s been the opposite for me.
The older I get the more comfortable I am being me and the more confident.
I’m not a person who makes a fuss or enjoys being in the spotlight but I’m much more confident in myself. I know my worth and my strengths.

SallyWD · 14/09/2022 18:55

I've always been shy. Now at 47 I'm not any more shy than I was before. If anything I care less about what people think of me which makes me less self conscious. I was a little wild in my youth but that's purely because of alcohol! Now I drink in moderation.

GuybrushT · 14/09/2022 19:16

I'm definitely the same op! I'm amazed when I think back to what I used to do as part of my job, for example leading training sessions or giving presentations, there's no way I could do these things now! Although I was never an overly confident or loud person in the past, I was definitely less shy and reserved than I am now. For me, the major change definitely came once I'd had kids for some reason.

Beezknees · 14/09/2022 19:17

I'm the opposite. I feel like the older I've got, the more comfortable I am with myself.

imnotthatkindofmum · 14/09/2022 19:18

God no, total opposite for me! I'll say anything to anyone! I'm a super embarrassing mum tbh 👍👍

cobblerwobbler · 14/09/2022 19:21

This reply has been deleted

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ddl1 · 14/09/2022 19:24

Studies of personality do show that on average people become less extraverted as they get older. Of course, this doesn't apply to every individual.

CaptainMyCaptain · 14/09/2022 19:27

I think it's the opposite. I'm in my late 60s snd I'll talk to anyone because I don't care what they think. I suppose it depends on what you mean by 'older' though.

Rosewaterblossom · 14/09/2022 21:55

The theme appears to be if you were confident, outspoken and fearless when younger you grow to become less confident, more shy and fearful. Whereas if you were shy, quiet and not confident you grow to be confident, louder and more fearless 🤔

Anonymouseposter · 14/09/2022 22:00

I am less shy the older I get but perhaps more reserved as I am choosier about what I can be bothered with. I feel more comfortable in my skin though.

Floydthebarber · 14/09/2022 22:01

Opposite for me. Late 30s now and only last couple of years have become confident and am still shaking off the shyness. Teens and 20s I was shy to the extent it was spoiling my life. Although it took antidepressants to sort it out.

shivawn · 14/09/2022 22:03

I'm another one for which the opposite is true. As I get older I'm more confident and assertive.

SomethingFast · 14/09/2022 22:03

The opposite for me too. I now give zero fucks and will be outspoken whenever required, and often when not!

Luredbyapomegranate · 14/09/2022 22:04

No the opposite.

What’s causing your shyness?

KentuckyDerbyandJoan · 14/09/2022 22:07

Rubbish, far more confident in any situation.

RampantIvy · 14/09/2022 22:14

Beezknees · 14/09/2022 19:17

I'm the opposite. I feel like the older I've got, the more comfortable I am with myself.

Same here. I think this happens with most people.

I don't care what people think of me any more, and am much better at laughing at myself.

knittingaddict · 14/09/2022 22:15

I feel the opposite. I was a reserved, shy teenager who blushed at the drop of a hat and it really bothered me. Not at all like that in my 50's. I can talk to anyone and will tackle most situations head on. I'm still an introvert, but more comfortable in my own skin.

KermitlovesKeyLimePie · 14/09/2022 22:19

Absolute opposite for me too.

Got to the age in my life where I say and do exactly what I think.

Bonjovispjs · 14/09/2022 22:22

Definitely the opposite for me too. I was so quiet and shy when I was younger, now I'm a right gobshite, just don't give a fuck anymore, but maybe that's the menopause 🤣

Squashpocket · 14/09/2022 22:23

Yeah, no, other way round. You're doing ageing wrong OP!

AndAllOurYesterdays · 14/09/2022 22:31

Other way around for me too. I was very quiet as a child and as a young adult. No confidence and scared of saying the wrong thing. It took me until 30 to find my voice.

LimpBiskit · 14/09/2022 22:36

Nope. Other way for me.

Sonnex · 14/09/2022 22:39

Opposite for me too.

RiftGibbon · 14/09/2022 22:55

Not for me. I've got more outgoing and outspoken the older I get.