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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About toddler in the hairdressers?

84 replies

IfIHadAHeart · 14/09/2022 12:45

I love coming to the hairdressers. It’s a treat, a bit of a pamper session and time to myself. Today’s appointment has been completely spoiled but I’m not sure if IABU!!

When I arrived, the customer next to me was half way through a full head of foils with a restless toddler on her knee. The little girl has screamed, shouted, run around the salon, had a tantrum, climbed on a cabinet and knocked a display over and is currently sharpening pencils leaving the shavings all over the floor. Mum has made very limited efforts to entertain her, and the poor hairdresser looks ever so flustered.

It has not been a pleasant experience. I keep telling myself to think kind thoughts and perhaps it’s Mum’s only chance for a bit of pampering herself, but I can’t control my face sometimes and the mirrored walls mean she has probably seen me glaring 😂

IABU to think you don’t bring toddlers to a three hour hair appointment?!

OP posts:
Chdjdn · 14/09/2022 13:06

I struggle with childcare when I have my hair done so I have a mobile hair dresser who comes to my house - very easy solution. DD has all her toys and activities to keep her entertained and it doesn’t bother anyone else (I check with the hairdresser first too).

WaveyHair · 14/09/2022 13:08

I can just about make it through a 3 hour hair appointment, no idea how a toddler is supposed to hold it together, even a well behaved one.

Original poster
IfIHadAHeart · 14/09/2022 13:09

Thanks everyone. I am known to have a low tolerance for noise on occasions and I sometimes worry that I’m just turning into a grumpy and selfish person. I look forward to a bit of pampering but this is anything but relaxing! The hairdresser looks frazzled - even when mum can persuade the little darling to sit on her knee she’s wriggly 😂 I’m sure she would be cute under other circumstances. I’m glad my children are older now!

OP posts:
rainbowmilk · 14/09/2022 13:12

My hairdresser banned children under 5 and ended up with loads of angry parents raging on their social media about discrimination and the need for “pampering for exhausted mummies” (bork), so they overturned it.

This sort of nonsense happens every time I’m there (every 8 weeks or so). I’d change hairdressers but I’ve gone there years and they’re great. I just prepare myself for a headache all evening.

So yeah whilst on here everyone will say YANBU (and you’re not), loads of people in real life think this is ok.

Lottapianos · 14/09/2022 13:22

'My hairdresser banned children under 5 and ended up with loads of angry parents raging on their social media about discrimination and the need for “pampering for exhausted mummies” (bork), so they overturned it.'

What a shame they gave in. I do feel for them though - no business needs a social media pile on

Tdcp · 14/09/2022 13:32

I'd have cancelled the appointment if I was that woman, there's no way I'd have taken even my quiet 7 year old to a 3 hour hair appointment.

Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 14/09/2022 13:43

She should have used a mobile hairdresser. Very selfish

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/09/2022 13:44

Quick trim in a local and known hairdresser, with a child distracted by a toy or tablet (like an iPad, I'm not suggesting drugging them) - fair enough, needs must.

Full foils for several hours with a toddler running rampage. Not cool.

This!

It doesn’t really seem fair on the toddler either. And I think this is the time when a bit of tablet time would come in handy if you must bring them.

I don’t think any body absolutely must have a three hour foils appointment if it means bringing their toddler along.

girlmom21 · 14/09/2022 13:45

This is really unfair on the hairdresser and really unfair on customers, but mostly unfair on the poor child!

There's no justification, even losing £60 because your sisters car won't start Hmm

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/09/2022 13:47

I don’t even take my 8 yo along to hair appointments or to hair appointments for my 13 yo. I make them for when he’s not about, or I leave her (my teen) to have her haircut, go off with younger one and just come in to pay!

That’s because he’s an enormous chatterbox though

whynotwhatknot · 14/09/2022 13:47

the manager sholdnt have allowed it-id complain afterwards that it ruined youtr appt op

my dsis wont even take her 7 year old because its boring for her

MolliciousIntent · 14/09/2022 13:52

girlmom21 · 14/09/2022 13:45

This is really unfair on the hairdresser and really unfair on customers, but mostly unfair on the poor child!

There's no justification, even losing £60 because your sisters car won't start Hmm

The poster was referring to the hairdresser losing £60 (as the appointment was cancelled late notice) not her.

StClare101 · 14/09/2022 14:00

If only a full head of foils wasn’t an essential medical appointment….

Plenty of hairdressers who come to your house if you need it. I did that for years when the kids were little as I didn’t want to waste precious time to myself sitting in a salon chair.

girlmom21 · 14/09/2022 14:03

@MolliciousIntent oh yeah you're right. My bad! I completely misread it as the poster losing a deposit

Sciurus83 · 14/09/2022 14:09

Oof! YANBU, I did recently take my baby to an appointment but he napped for most of it and sat quietly on my knee for the rest of the time, no one else would've known he was there and i wouldn't do ot again npw hes older. My three year old...no way!

BellePeppa · 14/09/2022 14:19

She’d be better off getting a mobile hairdresser to go to her if childcare is a problem.

idonotmind · 14/09/2022 14:22

YANBU.

I started a thread on here the other week when I was having a pedicure and someone had brought a child along and the standard response was YABU, because people deserve to have a pedicure and bring their child along, even if they run amok and ruin if for the other clients.

Roselilly36 · 14/09/2022 14:26

YANBU a hairdressing salon is not a crèche, dangerous place for an unsupervised child too.

BearBibble · 14/09/2022 14:34

Wow, I have an almost 3yo and limited childcare (which gets more than used up by my going to work, so no childcare options at all for leisure/optional activities). As a result I've just had terrible hair for 3 years. Every so often if the stars align and he falls asleep in the pushchair at a time when we're in town without any pressing errands to run and when the local supercuts (who take walk-ins) isnt busy, then I chance popping in for a 20 minute wet cut and rough dry, and hope he doesn't wake up. No way would I inflict him awake on other customers for 3 hours 😵

PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog · 14/09/2022 14:42

Depends on the place I think. Swishy adults only, high end services place, not OK. If it's a 'Will cut any hair for a £20, but don't expect a brew' type place. Not an issue.

Happyher · 14/09/2022 14:49

I agree she might not have anyone to leave the child with - I was in the same boat once with my pre school DD but I checked with the salon first and made sure she behaved. She sat with me most of the time and I got her to move when she was in the way of the stylist. She chattered away to everyone and it was fine but I’d never assume it was ok. Salons aren’t equipped for unsupervised children

sayanythingelse · 14/09/2022 14:51

YANBU. I take my 4yo DD with me every time. She'll have a trim and then sit as good as gold playing on my phone whilst I get a cut and blow-dry (the only time she will sit still).

I wouldn't dream of taking her if she wasn't getting her hair cut or it was a long appointment though. It's unreasonable to expect a small child to entertain themselves for hours.

SVRT19674 · 14/09/2022 14:52

Hmm for three hours? No, she is 4, not fair. My daughter has come with me a couple of times but it was trim and style and she was fine combing her barbies and then watching some videos on youtube kids. And now she is four and chats she chatted to the hairdresser. But three hours? no, I wouldn´t do that to her, or myself!

YetAnotherSpartacus · 14/09/2022 14:58

Isn't it a health and safety issue? Scissors are sharp and there's all sorts of other things that can do damage.

steppemum · 14/09/2022 14:58

Totally inappropriate. Obviously the toddler shouldn't have been there.

But maybe I am a hypocrite, because I have 3 kids and my middle one used to love the hairdressers. She begged to come with me and then sat on a stool wide eyed watching fascinated at all the people getting their hair cut.

But then she was always a quiet observer as a kid, sat through a whole pantomine aged 2.5. When dc 3 was 2.5 I was trying to imagine how it was that dc 2 had managed to sit still for that long as dc 3 wouldn't have made it to 3 minutes. 😂