Or is my DM being unreasonable

[Eastereasy]

So my DM has looked after my DC since they were small, they love her she loves them. I’ve paid her like a childminder but she’s been wonderful with them and they love her in return. To put in context, weekends, trips to Disney, London christmases etc all together

DD had had confirmation last year. Other granny is quite religious and kids were asked to pick a sponsor for confirmation . In school they stress the whole religious thing and DD takes this to heart and picks her other granny as sponsor. Other granny is v nice but not nearly so involved in DC Iives but they love her nonetheless

My DM was very hurt by this and is still smarting. At the time I didn’t see the harm. DD was choosing a
sponsor based on faith and it’s not really a big thing.

DM is still talking about how hurt she was. AIBU to have had enough of DM ranting on about this. Is it really so hurtful. Have I misread the whole thing - I don’t even remember who my sponsor was

@Jammydodgerlove you've had a name change fail.

Just get grey rock about it.

Say something like "she chose the granny that goes to church most, like the priest told her to".

Make sure she heard you.

Then be silent whenever she mentions it.
Change the subject
Ask her how her left knee is doing now.

My mother is like this, and distraction is helpful.
Silence is nuclear, but very useful. Last time I got "why aren't you saying anything!!". "Because there's really nothing else I can say about this."

Keep supporting your DD.

How old is your DD?
Apologies if you've done this already , but have you told DM how much SHE is hurting DD by keep going on about it? Or could your DD tell her this herself?
Such a horrible position for you both to be in.
Perhaps next time she mentions it, change the subject -
DM - I'm really upset.....
OP - not this again. Would you like to watch some paint dry?????

Sorry @picklemewalnuts missed that you'd suggested changing the subject

It’s ok @picklemewalnuts after one of the data scares I got used to always changing.

good advice, I’ll just stonewall. It’s what my brother does and it helps

The less reaction you offer, the less she gets out of it.

She's living emotionally on your attempt to appease her, persuade her, reassure and comfort her.

Don't push back, that's another form of feeding. Avoid confrontation. Just starve her of 'attention/oxygen' when she's having a rant.

She won't voice it but your DM expects 'payback' for the free childcare. Too involved. This will only get worse now as she gets older.
We paid for nursery and are beholden to no one.
Just see less of her.

Oh dear.. I'm sorry I have no advice only sympathy.

P.s. I think your name has changed

Ah sorry missed that you know :)

Good luck

@cptartapp The childcare wasn’t free, I paid DM a decent amount which I was more than happy to do, she was paid as a childminder would have been. I was glad of the help and DM needed the cash so didn’t at all begrudge this