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AIBU?

To feel let down by my family

4 replies

Cupofteaonesugar · 13/09/2022 22:22

I'll try and keep it short.
I feel really let down by my family. I thought we were close but starting to question that. I have my parents and sister and her family.
I'm a single parent to two., in my thirties. The dad is in the picture but he's been letting me down a lot recently. Not seen kids for nearly a month.
My good friend passed away a few weeks ago. I was very upset, my first loss of a friend. Both of my children have been really unwell recently, including myself.. really nasty virus! Felt really overwhelmed by this as I've had no support with childcare, I'm grieving and just feeling abit flat.
Life isn't always like this, just a Tough couple months!
Anyway, this is the support I've had from my fam... despite me telling them on multiple occasions that I'm struggling....
Mum, Sister and BIL asked if I was ok the day after my friend died.
Mum asked me today if I felt ok after being unwell.
Nobody has asked after my sons.
Nobody has met up with me or made any effort knowing it's a tough time for me.


I just feel in this situation I would at least ask that person out for dinner or soemthing!
I know everyone has their own lives and own problems.... but I'm just feeling really let down.
Just explained this to my mum and she's not taken it well and made me feel bad :(

OP posts:
Inamess18 · 18/11/2023 10:43

I hope you're doing ok. I read your message and saw no replies. It's tough this solo parenting. I feel it too x

Lemsipper · 18/11/2023 10:50

Op, I’m sorry your original post didn’t get any replies at the time when you needed support. I suspect the 22.22pm posting time was a cut off time for a lot of people with going to bed. But people out here do care. How are you doing now? Has the situation improved?

Bosca · 18/11/2023 10:53

I think you need to ask for the type of help you want. You say you think someone should have asked you out for dinner, which would have been my last instinct, having just read about your situation — I would have thought that if I offered to take you out for dinner, you wouldn’t have childcare, so the invitation would be frustrating, at best. It’s possible they think an ill, grieving person needs solitude.

Shinyandnew1 · 18/11/2023 10:56

Hmm, that does sound crappy-how do you get on normally?

Just to say though, I probably wouldn’t invite a single mum out for dinner (though I would go if she suggested it) as I would worry she didn’t have the money or childcare to do it and I couldn’t afford to foot the whole bill myself.

If it was my mum, I’d be ringing her saying I felt crap and needed cheering up and did she want to come round for a cuppa or film or something. Could you do that?

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