Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Planning Future Birth

3 replies

Lulu1027 · 13/09/2022 20:59

I'm looking for some advice on planning the care for my next pregnancy and birth. I'm in the US, so working with a different healthcare system, but have received some good advice on mumsnet in the past. Long story short, I had a traumatic birth with my first child last year. I was induced, the baby got stuck, had a ventouse delivery with a third degree tear plus lacerations, and my son went to the nicu for two days. I was very poorly communicated with at the hospital. I went in because I thought my water had broken but it hadn't. They decided to induce but didn't bother to tell me, so left me waiting for seven hours before it began. The whole thing culminated with the ventouse delivery being performed without the doctor telling me he was doing so. It was violating and scary and I wish I had been given the opportunity to speak to someone (anyone!) beforehand. I've decided to have a section next time to have measure of control and avoid a repeat tear, and my doctor is on board with it, although he says I don't medically need it. He seems to think nothing of a third-degree tear. I've healed well but I had a tough recovery and don't want to risk any permanent issues. Given my experience, my one remaining fear is that if I go into labor before my ELCS date I could be faced with a similar lack of communication at the hospital, which could impact my care. I'm afraid I could be made to wait again and not receive my section after all. I recently spoke with my doctor about this and he was completely dumbfounded by this concern and not particularly helpful. AIBU to feel uneasy? Or have I arranged a section and that's enough to make sure I will avoid a repeat tear? Any advice on how to proceed? I'd really like to feel secure in my care before ttc.

OP posts:
Hymnulop · 13/09/2022 21:02

2nd birth with an ELCS here. Best decision I ever made, traumatic first birth and no way in hell was I going to go through that again. They do it around 38 weeks to try and avoid you going into labour before the arranged date. It was fabulous, so calm and lovely, enjoyed every minute. The surgeon also spent extra time repairing my insides from what went wrong during my last birth so that was nice and as a result I have a much smaller overhang than last time. Do it, you won't regret it.

Lulu1027 · 13/09/2022 21:17

@Hymnulop Thanks for that. I have been wondering if I'll regret it. And, sadly, my husband is so disgusted with how I was treated that he's not sure we should even try to have another child.

OP posts:
Hymnulop · 13/09/2022 21:46

You 100% will not and won't ever regret it. For the ultimate ELCS get some soothing music playing or whatever. Create an atmosphere. I couldn't do that as I was slightly high risk and the surgeon wanted to really fix me up so needed good light and concentration! But if you're allowed a bit of music or whatever then do it. Relax into it and enjoy. Good luck and don't let the first birth put you off.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread