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AIBU?

To feel upset and rejected

2 replies

Coffeesnob11 · 13/09/2022 20:58

I have never met anyone from my df's family. He died a long time ago and after he died I found out he had 4 kids from a previous marriage. My mother wasn't the reason he left. There was some reason he and his direcf family were estranged. I tried reaching out to one of my half siblings and an aunt (his sister) but they weren't interested.
A while ago I went on ancestry as i had been bought a kit and was contacted by a cousin of my father who lives abroad. She told me some history of my grandmother.
She is over in the UK and we had arranged before she left to meet this weekend. She has just cancelled meeting after having been here for 3 weeks and said she is flying hone early due to the queen's death.
Stupidly I booked a non cancellable hotel about 4 hours away from home. The first dilemma i have is do I go away anyway or try and change the date and go another date in the future for a weekend away.
Secondly I just feel frustrated and rejected. I have barely any family on my mother's side. If my df did something wrong I wish someone would tell me. I know this is a first world problem and I am lucky to have a dc and a dm but I was so looking forward to meeting someone I was related to from that side, I feel very sorry for myself.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can reframe this in my head and move on.

OP posts:
Dumle · 13/09/2022 21:15

I know the feeling. It's easy to say that you should just focus on the family you have instead of longing for people who have no interest in you. But it's so hard to do. It's sadness and disappointment, and questions like why am I not good enough to get to know? Why don't they want to get to know me and my family? I still feel all those things and I don't think I will ever get over it but I can't let it consume me either. I have to focus on the family I am fortunate to have.

Maybe you can take your mum and child with you to the hotel and have a nice weekend together. Make some memories together and just spending time together knowing how lucky you all are to have eachother.

Coffeesnob11 · 16/09/2022 10:20

@Dumle thank you so much for responding. I have decided to go anyway and muly mum is coming with us. I am trying to park the feelings for now. I have counselling today so will bring it up then. Sorry you have had similar feelings too.

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