Help me out of this rut please
Chichimcgee · 13/09/2022 18:06
Background - lost both parents last year, moved via a domestic abuse refuge this year. Have 6month old and 12 year old.
where I’ve moved to seems nice, has a fair amount going on, good bus routes (I don’t drive)
I need you help. I can’t keep on top of the house, I don’t look after myself (don’t brush hair or teeth, don’t eat properly, only wear pjs) and I don’t leave the house.
I’m crippled with depression and feel like I’m failing massively.
Am I being unreasonable?AIBU
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rumred · 13/09/2022 18:09
You need to get a face to face appointment with your doctor. You understandably sound depressed. Please get some help
PalePurplePumpkin · 13/09/2022 18:11
Have you made a GP appointment?
Are you able to look after your kids properly?
hattie43 · 13/09/2022 18:14
I'd make one small change a day . Don't feel overwhelmed like you have to do everything each day .
Day one begins getting children sorted . Then one thing for yourself . Brush teeth .
Day two the same .
Day three brush teeth and shower .
I think you'll instantly feel better after a good shower .
Day four the same
Day five , brush teeth , shower , wash dishes
Carry on with small bite size chunks and your self esteem and confidence will grow .
Chichimcgee · 13/09/2022 18:20
Im on the highest dose of anti depressant, I do look after my kids properly, they come before anything and everything else.
thank you @hattie43
Royalbloo · 13/09/2022 18:23
You need to look after yourself so you can look after them. They love you, and so should you.
if recommend the GP for now. Just be honest with them.
unicormb · 13/09/2022 18:24
Go very very slowly, OP. You're completely overwhelmed so start small. Maybe just by doing your teeth every day for a week. Once you have achieved that small thing you can add another small thing. Really small though! Maybe putting a brush through your hair once a day. And just keep chipping away at it. Give yourself time to recover.
PalePurplePumpkin · 13/09/2022 18:24
Can you brush your hair/teeth when your DC does theirs?
And maybe eat when they're eating?
It sounds simple but it might help you to get into a routine.
Chichimcgee · 13/09/2022 18:45
My son has disabilities and my daughter is delayed and having scans etc so mornings are consisted of helping them, doing meds and creams for them etc so I can’t really do things at the same time as them.
My son has just started special school after 6 years of no schools meeting needs and I thought I’d feel so much better knowing he’s in school and having that time but I just feel exhausted all the time. I had a traumatic labour and dd needed resuscitating, after coming home she stopped breathing and lost consciousness and this has given me huge anxiety over her and I’m constantly checking her, by the time she’s asleep in the evening I’m ready for bed.
I don’t have any family or any friends and feel like everything is on me but I do look after my children.
Sunnyqueen · 13/09/2022 19:01
Bless you, ive been where you are and to be honest I didn't get treatment and I got worse and ended up in a really, really bad situation... Not to frighten you but I think it's paramount you use any spare energy or motivation you have to insist that the gp helps you. Ask them to refer you to CMHT for starters. Change gp if they won't take you seriously.
Fwiw, I now go out every day, my house is immaculate, I brush my teeth and mouthwash twice a day and even wear make up most days. Everything is kept on top of. The game changer for me was medication. I know you are on anti depressants but there are other things it's just whether they will prescribe them to you or not.
Mumspair1 · 13/09/2022 19:19
Oh bless you op. That is a traumatic lot to deal with. But you have got yourself out of an abusive situation, so that is a massive step not a failure. Be kinder to yourself, most people don't go through that in such a short space. Your son getting into a good school is another positive. Have you tried accessing any therapy?
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