Personal Assistant

MichelleScarn · 13/09/2022 18:04

Who are you in this, and what's the age of the child and actual 'cheeky' behaviour?

user1473878824 · 13/09/2022 18:06

What does being a personal assistant have to do with them telling a boy off? Is it because she isn’t a teacher and you think it’s not her place? Because YABU if so. Maybe she’s sick to the back teeth with “cheeky” every day?

TightDiamondShoes · 13/09/2022 18:09

Is the cheeky wee chap your precious child?

lanthanum · 13/09/2022 18:11

If the child is young or has special needs, any response will need to be at the time of the behaviour. The parents of the child are not there, so they can't be the ones to tell him off at the time. Reporting it to parents is also escalating it in a way that a quick word at the time doesn't.

It sounds as if you and the assistant draw the line in different places on "banter". Bear in mind that school transport is really an extension of school, and so it's best if the standards expected match those in school. If the child learns that you just laugh at him saying certain things, then they may think it's okay to say them to anyone.

lanthanum · 13/09/2022 18:12

(I'm assuming OP is the driver, or accompanying another child.)

strawberrysea · 13/09/2022 18:14

I'm on the side of the PA here.
If you were on a bus with all of your work colleagues for example and one of them was being rude and cheeky I imagine someone would say something.
Kids are still learning so yeah let them know when it's time to be quiet and have a day off.

Gazelda · 13/09/2022 18:18

It possibly needs clarifying that PA in this situation is Personal Assistant to a child with additional needs.
Not a Personal Assistant in an office role.

I presume I'm correct OP?

Hawkins001 · 13/09/2022 18:20

HaydnShoulders · 13/09/2022 18:03

Maybe I'm being unreasonable? Maybe I'm being over sensitive? A personal assistant on school transport has told a young boy off for his occasional cheeky behaviour. I see it as harmless chat, and I am happy to chat with the young lad on the school transport.
The personal assistant says that kind of behaviour shouldn't be encouraged/ tolerated as it is in their opinion a sign of bad manners.
I disagree, I think the parents of the child should be the ones to tell him his behaviour is considered bad.
Am I being unreasonable?

If the personal assistant has a point, besides what if the parents don't know ?

Elfandshafty · 13/09/2022 18:39

YABU

Why should the parents be told when consequences need to be logical and timely with children?

I'm betting this 'cheeky' behaviour is being a little shit and you're downplaying it

Fladdermus · 13/09/2022 18:41

Nobody can answer this without knowing the age of the child, the 'cheeky' behaviour and any special needs.

Original poster

HaydnShoulders · 13/09/2022 18:44

Sorry. For clarification, the young lad is 12 years old and has special educational needs.
There are no other children in the vehicle.
The so called cheeky behaviour is limited to questions. They are Jo more 'cheeky' than questions asked by any other 12 year old child.
The parents have witnessed the way the child speaks to me. I have no issues, the child is chatty and inquisitive. I think the parents would agree.
I'd hardly think the personal assistant is fed up up of his remarks as he only speaks to me. And the young child is only in the vehicle for a maximum of 20 minutes a day.
I didn't think of the transport home as an extension of the school. In that case I probably am being a little dramatic.

OP posts:

Aconitum · 13/09/2022 18:47

Sounds like the personal assistant is in the wrong job. Poor lad.

Elfandshafty · 13/09/2022 19:00

HaydnShoulders · 13/09/2022 18:44

Sorry. For clarification, the young lad is 12 years old and has special educational needs.
There are no other children in the vehicle.
The so called cheeky behaviour is limited to questions. They are Jo more 'cheeky' than questions asked by any other 12 year old child.
The parents have witnessed the way the child speaks to me. I have no issues, the child is chatty and inquisitive. I think the parents would agree.
I'd hardly think the personal assistant is fed up up of his remarks as he only speaks to me. And the young child is only in the vehicle for a maximum of 20 minutes a day.
I didn't think of the transport home as an extension of the school. In that case I probably am being a little dramatic.

Still not being specific re the questions and cheeky behaviour

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 13/09/2022 21:02

So the child is speaking to you in a manner you are entirely happy with and the PA is telling them off for that?

Original poster

HaydnShoulders · 13/09/2022 21:24

I'm perfectly happy conversing with the young lad, and I'm happy with the way he is chatting with me. I tell the parents he's a cheeky chappy too. In my opinion it's the typical chat you get from a chatty 12 year old child. I think he likes to talk and I would feel uncomfortable if I didn't converse with him.

OP posts:

Original poster

HaydnShoulders · 13/09/2022 21:30

The typical comments are about my driving - which I have no issues with.
Comments such as
' Why have you stopped? We could have got through that gap'
' Come on...I could have been home by now' etc.
The comments make me laugh, and I'm sure he can see me in the rear view mirror laughing. I understand that the personal assistant is concerned for the welfare of the child in the vehicle, and that driver distractions could be catastrophic. I just don't think the personal assistant should be trying to stop the happy, cheeky conversations in the vehicle?

OP posts:

Elfandshafty · 13/09/2022 21:36

HaydnShoulders · 13/09/2022 21:30

The typical comments are about my driving - which I have no issues with.
Comments such as
' Why have you stopped? We could have got through that gap'
' Come on...I could have been home by now' etc.
The comments make me laugh, and I'm sure he can see me in the rear view mirror laughing. I understand that the personal assistant is concerned for the welfare of the child in the vehicle, and that driver distractions could be catastrophic. I just don't think the personal assistant should be trying to stop the happy, cheeky conversations in the vehicle?

So as expected

He isn't being cheeky

He is being rude

The PA is right

MichelleScarn · 13/09/2022 21:54

That's not being cheeky that's rude, I wonder I'd that's how the dad talks if the mums driving?

MichelleScarn · 13/09/2022 21:55

Or basically any parent to someone else!