This has reared its head again. Happens every few years. My children are late teens. They always say thank you for birthday and Xmas grifts. When younger it was fun for them to write little cards but now at 12 16 and 18 they often say thank you via email or text. Nice texts- lengthy with punctuation as they know "old people like full stops" but an electronic thank you all the same. Sometimes for a particularly nice gift they actually call and speak to the person.
I think this is fine. They do it themselves, they're not a generation where sending cards will ever be a thing, and most importantly they are thanking the giver for the gift in a timely manner. MIL thinks that only a formal card will do, and I will no longer force then to do this or facilitate this. The older 2 have A levels and GCSEs and sport and social lives, and they are saying thank you - just not in the format prefers. Even when they call her she still expects a card!
She's grudgingly accepted that this won't happen until this week when she visited her sister. Sister is much older, in a care home. She randomly send middle child a present for their birthday. It was £5.00, a collection of the free cards and pens that you get sent unsolicited by charities and a pair of tights size L in "Barely Black" that she thought size 6 DD could use. DD was touched and realising text or email was inappropriate sent a nice little letter- in fact using a pen and the British heart foundation card from the present. MIL now fuming because, "they can do it, they just choose not to".
Thing is MIL is 20 years younger, very with it, very active online and this obsession with formal cards is just odd and I refuse to make them do it. I haven't even told them it's an issue because it's just another example of her prioritising what things look like over actually having a relationship with the children. Am I wrong?