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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband befriending women on Facebook

34 replies

CannyKate · 13/09/2022 14:52

I am happily married and trust my husband however a few month ago he went out for a few drinks with his friend. He says he got chatting to two women in the pub because they recognised him from doing the school runs with our child. His friend ended up going home early and my husband stayed for several hours, chatting to these two women and drinking alcohol. He ended up being walked home by these women at 3am, and I saw a poor quality doorbell clip of them hugging him and saying something along the lines of “well all women would think that”. I couldn’t work out what was being said but from the body language on the clip I feel they are flirting with him.
I confronted him about all of this and asked him what they were talking about and why they were hugging him etc. I felt very insecure and uncomfortable about it and made sure he knew this. He told me I had nothing to be concerned about, he understood how it must look, but that he was just saying goodbye after waking home hence the hug. He says he didn’t remember what they were talking about in the doorbell footage, and said he just thought it was good that he’s been making friends with other parents at our school.
I still felt deeply uncomfortable about this, but after several discussions on it I decided I had to trust him and tried my best to let it go. I was made to feel like I was being a bit unreasonable/ jealous. I am not jealous person at al, and this is the first time anything like this has happened.

Since then, I’ve seen one of the women flirty waving at my husband while I’m there with him at the school gate. He’s brought these women up in conversation a few times, but I haven’t reacted, but I feel uncomfortable with it
.
This week, my husband posted something on Facebook to which I commented, but noticed that both of these women have liked and commented on the post. I said who is “XYZ” making that comment? He said oh it’s those school mums from the pub. He had befriended them both on Facebook, even knowing that I had felt insecure about it. Looking back at his recent posts, I can see they have been on his Facebook profile for several weeks now. He didn’t tell me he had befriended them. Either he searched them out and added them, or they found out his name and he accepted their friend requests. Either way he didn’t tell me about it, but if I bring it up, I will be made to feel like I have overreacted or am being jealous.

before I talk about this with him again, I’m trying to find out more information, and I’m trying to work out how I feel about this. Am I overreacting? I don’t know? I feel like he has deliberately hidden something from me that he knew I would react to.

OP posts:
WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 13/09/2022 17:25

YANBU @CannyKate Sounds to me like he knows you are insecure and worried, and is feeding off it and enjoying your worrying and being upset. Probably puffing out his big manly chest at the attention from these women. Makes him feels like a big important man. And you being upset and insecure is a double bonus. What a fucking twat. Start adding as many good looking random men to your facebook friends as you can, and keep chatting to them. Why not?! Hmm

EverydayMusing · 13/09/2022 17:32

It sounds like inappropriate behaviour for a married man, and also by these 2 women. No need for hugging, etc.

blockpavingismynightmare · 13/09/2022 17:38

Op I would not be happy either. You do not have to befriend these two women. I can't believe some of the replies on here.

mamabear715 · 13/09/2022 19:24

@blockpavingismynightmare Me too.. :-0

Bukhara · 13/09/2022 19:39

For heaven’s sake, OP. He ran into two people he knows by sight from the school run in a pub, had a late night with them, subsequently friended them on SM, and one of them waved at him on the street while you were with him. Your issue appears to be that here people have vaginas.

Bukhara · 13/09/2022 19:40

THESE people have vaginas.

WoopsIdiditagain1 · 13/09/2022 21:33

So does have of the population

WoopsIdiditagain1 · 13/09/2022 21:33

So does have of the population

WoopsIdiditagain1 · 13/09/2022 21:34

Half

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