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Struggling but AIBU?

1 reply

Needmorecoffee2 · 13/09/2022 12:18

Morning all,

I had thyroid cancer last year, the tumour was removed last September. Being on my thyroid, the cancer messed with my hormones and caused me to pile on a lot of weight! And since my surgery I have struggled to lose the weight. I am now 20 stone and miserable.

To add insult to injury, it’s been my dream to have a second baby, I’m in my mid-thirties so don’t feel like time is on my side to have one, plus I haven’t been able to get my weight down much. I have also been tracking my ovulation the past few months to see if everything is “working”. I don’t seem to be ovulating at all and am just really distressed that my body seems to be so effed up and broken from the cancer.

There have been so many baby announcements on Facebook recently, I’m really happy for people but it’s like a punch in the gut. The worst was my sister in law, she has just announced that she has a baby due on my birthday.
I should be so happy about getting a niece or nephew, we already have a lovely niece. But all I feel is hurt. It’s nothing to do with the baby, I think it’s because it’s her.

She wasn’t there for me when I had cancer and loves that I’m bigger than her, will always talk about how she’s “such a heffer at 12 stone”. And with her first pregnancy she had to ram it down everyone’s throats constantly and wouldn’t even open her own cans of drink! 🙄
She knows I’ve struggled and I know she’ll enjoy making me feel bad.

I didn’t attend the family get together this weekend where they announced it to wider family as I knew I’d cry and didn’t want to ruin it for them. But then I know it looked bad by not going.

Am I being pathetic? I don’t really have anyone to talk about it too which is why I’m posting for advice/opinions. I think I just need a bit of a reality check - sorry for such a rant!

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?


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JTOWN2306 · 13/09/2022 20:34

You are absolutely not being pathetic! You are fully entitled to feel this way. You have been through such a major event - cancer is not something you quickly recover from physically or mentally. Your weight also does not define you but I appreciate that it can make you feel really miserable.

When you desperately want a baby it feels like the whole world is pregnant and baby announcements are happening left right and centre. I understand how you feel and why you feel this way and it is perfectly natural. Women have a biological clock but it's not unheard of to have a baby in your late 30s/early 40s these days. I think you're putting far too much pressure on yourself atm. You should focus on your recovery and feeling better in yourself mentally. Once you do that, everything else will fall into place.

I'm rooting for you and sending all the love and luck your way.

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