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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To keep DD home this afternoon?

21 replies

AndAnotherOneJoinsTheQueue · 13/09/2022 11:55

School, not UK, DC come home for lunch as no provision at school.

DD10 came home in tears and refusing to go back as one of the boys has threatened to beat her up. Teacher not answering phone (understandable, it's lunch time).

She and a friend F saw a Yr 1 in tears as her friend wouldn't play with her. DD and F decided to make a club, together with L and a couple of others in her class, to look after kids who are upset or have no one to play with or are scared they'll be hit by the others.

Boys wanted to see club paper. Tried to grab it from F, hit her when she didn't hand it over. Paper ripped and F ran away (and ate it 😂)
Boys followed DD and F home and have said if they don't hand paper over they'll beat them up.

obviously DD can't hand paper over and is in tears because she doesn't want to be hit. They have PE this afternoon, which generally seems to be a free for all. I'm debating keeping her home if teacher hasn't called back. Walk to school/home is not an issue, she has an older brother.

OP posts:

Keyansier · 13/09/2022 11:58

I've read this three times and have no idea what on earth you're talking about. Why are people eating paper?

Original poster

AndAnotherOneJoinsTheQueue · 13/09/2022 12:00

F ate the piece of paper with the club rules on it so she didn't have to give it to the boys!

OP posts:

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/09/2022 12:03

I like the cut of F’s gib!

And how lovely of your dd and F to make this club - I wish more kids were like that!

I think you’re reasonable to keep her off this pm until someone can speak to you if she’s that upset. If there’s no further break time though, perhaps this afternoon would be safe to go in? Could you try to speak to someone in person?

empireemmy · 13/09/2022 12:15

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the poster.

Johnnysgirl · 13/09/2022 12:17

Why can't you walk back with her and sort it out with the teacher before she goes in? Keeping her home is daft.

DDivaStar · 13/09/2022 12:29

Johnnysgirl · 13/09/2022 12:17

Why can't you walk back with her and sort it out with the teacher before she goes in? Keeping her home is daft.

This

nachoavocado · 13/09/2022 12:38

So she's 10? I'd walk back with her and speak to a teacher

Original poster

AndAnotherOneJoinsTheQueue · 13/09/2022 12:38

@Johnnysgirl that never occurred to me! Walking to school with a parent at her age would be social suicide, I'm not sure she would have agreed.
If it were a lesson in the classroom like maths or English, I'd have sent her in. But P.E. Has always been a bit of an issue in her class with some of the boys being aggressive etc.

I've never seen her this upset or shaken before about something that has happened at school. She knows this same boy beat up a Yr 3 on the way home on Friday.

OP posts:

WishingWell5 · 13/09/2022 13:13

There is something seriously wrong with the school and the teachers. Is there any teacher intervention or discipline at all? A year 3 beaten up? Older kids bullying year 1s and making them cry? Where is this school?

Original poster

AndAnotherOneJoinsTheQueue · 13/09/2022 13:40

@WishingWell5 the year 3 incident was on the way home so technically nothing to do with the school... It wasn't the older kid bullying a year 1 in this instance although it wouldn't be the first time. Teacher called back 10 mins after lessons started when she realised DD wasn't there. Once she'd double checked that DD was definitely at home with me and not dawdling on the way to school, she said F's step father has already texted that F came home in tears and emailed and DD can stay home and she'll call me after school.

OP posts:

SecondsAreTheBest · 13/09/2022 13:45

Just wanted to say I'm.very impressed with your DD and F. Lovely kids. I wish every school had a club like this. Maybe they can recruit more kids to help them.

londonlass71 · 13/09/2022 13:58

Dd and f are lovely. Actually this is a safeguarding issue even if it is after school. I'd go in with her or at least shortly after and insist on speaking to the head or deputy or safe guarding officer. Its not on

Keyansier · 13/09/2022 15:25

WishingWell5 · 13/09/2022 13:13

This is exactly what I was thinking. OP said not in the UK - what country is this in? The way OP described PE lessons alone sounds like something from The Hunger Games. The school sounds like something from The Wild West. What are the teachers doing when all this is taking place? What country is this all happening in?

InsertPunHere · 13/09/2022 15:27

I love that the friend ate the paper! Take that, thuggish boys!

I’m glad school are taking it seriously. I’m sure you are very proud of your DD and her friend.

Notanotherwindow · 13/09/2022 15:30

Get the older brother to have a not so friendly chat with them. My bullies never paid any attention to what the teachers said but did back off when my older cousin waited for them after school and told them clearly what he would do to them if they didn't leave me alone.

mycatisannoying · 13/09/2022 15:31

Notanotherwindow · 13/09/2022 15:30

This would be my approach of choice!

10HailMarys · 13/09/2022 15:36

PE is a 'free-for-all' to the extent that children can be 'beaten up' mid-lesson? Really?

As someone who grew up with an older brother, my advice would also be to get the brother to have a word with this boy. But don't keep her off school over this. Playground rows happen all the time.

Pigsinmuck · 13/09/2022 15:38

Send her to school, let them deal with it.

Original poster

AndAnotherOneJoinsTheQueue · 13/09/2022 16:02

Unfortunately having a word wouldn't work as he has SN, but his presence on the way to school/home would be a deterrent.

The school sounds like something from The Wild West. What are the teachers doing when all this is taking place?. Honestly it sounded like this last year. They had a student teacher with absolutely no experience and a more than useless head who didn't back up or support the teachers at all. e.g. when my son was bullied the answer from the head was well, he's different, he'll have to get used to it because it'll be the same all his life.

But don't keep her off school over this. Playground rows happen all the time.. This is more than a playground row! She was threatened to be beaten up by a boy who she knows beat up a Yr3 child last week.

Teacher has called back. Boys have already been spoken to by the head. He wants to chat to the girls tomorrow to hear their side of things. Then he will speak to the class. Class teacher has said that the children must know this is unacceptable behaviour and there will be consequences. I am genuinely in shock. It is the first time I have ever heard a teacher at this school use the word "consequences". Class teacher is new to the school this year, and the Head is new this year (although he taught at the school previously). I cannot believe they're acting so fast! And she said I did the right thing to keep DD home until I'd spoken to her.

OP posts:

Keyansier · 13/09/2022 16:11

But what country is this? I can't imagine this would fly in the UK. Yes, there is bullying that goes on, but not to the extent that people are regularly getting beaten up during PE lessons, year 3's being beaten up by older children, and the Headteacher's response to all of this going on is "well, he's different, he'll have to get used to it because it'll be the same all his life."

Hellsmovie · 11/01/2023 10:27

I dont think your being unreasonable. It's aa hour a day . Atleast hes not in the streets being a nuisance. Tell your neighbor to get a grip.

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