To still be pissed off with kitchen experience?

[Wouldntrecommend]

I'll try to keep this brief.

4 years ago I ordered my dream kitchen and utility from an independent kitchen company. It had good reviews, impressive showroom and excellent staff. It was the final stage, icing on the cake, of renovating a run down Victorian Property.

It was quite expensive but we'd saved hard for this.

It arrived and 50% of it was wrong. Either designer hadn't listened correctly to me, but plans weren't presented in a format to show that he'd done differently to my requirements. Or the workshop hadn't followed the plan. Or items were damaged, the wrong colour or not fit for purpose.

We identified the problem on delivery and contacted the company to rectify. We were ignored, argued with, they denied any responsibility.

We got into an impasse while we started legal proceedings. We were without a usable kitchen or laundry for 14 months during this time. We'd had a small kitchen area set up in dining room and had usable sink in utility and plumbed in washing machine. So we managed. With a family of 6, it was challenging.

The company went into receivership. So that was that. Another company with a very similar took over the showroom, changed nothing, kept all social media exactly the same but denied any ongoing responsibility as the were nothing to do with precious owners.

Sowe finished it at our own cost of approx £10,000 over what we'd paid for the kitchen.

I absolutely hate being in that room still. I cannot express how strong my emotions still are.

Objectively it's a beautiful space, and gets many compliments but I still an angry when I walk in the room from the upheaval and financial and emotional impact related to this.

AIBU to still feel aggrieved despite having a wonderful space?

Yes. I'm fully aware that it's a First World problem.

And I'm actually considering moving from what was intended to be our forever home because of this despite the years of toil it's taken to get there.

I always think 'beyond repair, beyond care'. Realistically, there is nothing to be done about it and it's a shame you are allowing this to affect you four years on. Not sure how to move past it - would you really want to move and potentially go through all that again?

Or you could burn down the showroom....

Oh god, I don't know what the answer is but I felt angry just reading that. A friend had similar with a local builder going bust then setting up under his wife's name, refusing to fix the 15k of dodgy work that he did - it's so awful, and nothing you can do. I'm really sorry this happened to you.

That's outrageous. Personally I find it hard to let go of injustice which is what I think this is. It is unfair they messed around so longer (stalling?) before going bust you had nowhere to go.

I fully understand your anger. I had something similar with a car that was faulty but the dealer refused to refund it, they offered to repair it, so I dropped it off, then they closed up shop, I went through small claims court but meanwhile they closed the company and I never saw the money or my car again. It was a cheap car but I was penniless at the time (hence cheap car) so it had a big impact.

It is the sheer injustice of the fact that companies can just close up when things get tough and avoid responsibility.

So I totally understand your anger, outrage and sense of injustice. It took me a couple of years to let go of it.

However, you have a hopefully now lovely kitchen. The kitchen is serving you well, can you find some sense of gratitude and love for the kitchen that you have now, to mitigate the anger?

Can you do something to fully vent your pent up anger? Scream, shout, write a letter and burn the letter? Make a model of the original kitchen and along with the original plans and a picture of the original company shopfront or something, and burn all that?

It seems a shame to move and go through all the additional expense of that, and why should they cause you even more upheaval and expense than they already did?

This must have been awful for you. I don't know if you want any suggestions and I don't want to be patronising but I had an experience a few years ago which helped me enormously to put things behind me and move on.
My Jewelry box was stolen out of my bedroom. Someone came in through the window and that was all they took. I didn't have anything very valuable but some very special sentimental items like my enagegment ring and a very special necklace I wore on my wedding day .
Anyway, I was so upset, I moped around about it for months. Eventually I decided that I had to move on. I took a small amount of time to be alone. I remembered my jewelery and felt the sorrow at loosing them and I cried and then when I had finished I left it all behind me.
Doing something like this might help you to move on. I know your experience is much bigger than mine but if you are ever going to put this behind you it will involve making the decision to do it.
Perhaps you could have some kind of Ceremony in your kitchen, light candles, get some flowers, cry, shout, smash some things, burn images of the terrible company you dealt with, put up some photos of your family happy and smiling whatever you're into.
Take back the power that you've lost to this terrible experience to love your home.
Again, i hope I'm not being patronising and I really hope you are able to get past this awful experience.

I get it. Would I be right in saying that you're not even really pissed off about the kitchen any more. You're now pissed off that it's made you so pissed off, and that it's taken over so much headspace for so long.

I don't really have any solutions, but in an ideal world, where you can do everything except turn back time, what do you think would help you feel that it's resolved?

I would be fucking FURIOUS at this. And wouldn't stop tagging them and loudly reminding them and informing everybody else about what happened every time they made a post on social media.

I don't think that sounds patronising, I think it sounds really nice and a nice suggestion. (Don't know if I could get past my fury to put it in practice myself though!!)

Thank you all for commenting so kindly I thought I'd be handed my arse tbf.

I just wanted to be proud of its beauty and even pop it on instagram and have people wow over it like had with all of their kitchens beforehand. I don't even have social media for me (low self esteem and confidence issues) or my family, so this was going to be My Thing - the renovation and what we'd achieved through hard work and vision on a run down house. So that was stolen from me too (shallow as all fuck, I know) as well as the heartache, emotions, upheaval and financial impact.

Thanks that beyond repair, beyond care actually sounds like a mantra to embrace. 💐

Tempting...

Thank you. It's shocking isn't it what some can get away with?

I wouldn't be surprised. I think the ceo was a shit of a man from the research I've done on him.

I do have a smashing kitchen and you're right, I should have gratitude.

I'm sorry about what you experienced with your car. It turns you cynical and unable to trust, doesn't it?

Thank you for sharing, I'm so sorry that you lost sentimental items, that must have been so hard for you to process.

I think you're right about drawing a line and forcing a Change of mindset. It's probably time, but I'm a dweller. 😬

I'll try, pinky promise.

Heh you've probably hit the nail on the head. Yes a lot of it is probably because I'm cross ar myself for dwelling.

Need to screw my courage and wobble my head and try to enjoy it.

Advice for future is pay on credit card. Will be able to claim back from them in event of company going bust etc. I know it doesn’t help you now, but will help ease anxiety of future purchases.

They block everyone who has a smidge of negativity on their SM. It infuriates me as it doesn't allow potential customers to get a true view of their business. Completely underhand tactics.

DH told me to pay in credit card but in my haste I forgot and just did a bank transfer. As you can imagine things were tense in our house when we realised we weren't covered.

Now, everything is on credit card to ensure we're covered.

It's a type of PTSD because of the effect it's having on you. Each time you going it reminds you of a horrible experience.

Could you get rid of this by having a good time in it? Anniversary party? Birthday party?

Put your own post up and tag them. They cannot remove it.

Never use them companies. They are so much more money and no better quality. My husband is a fitter and says b and q are the best value for money and good quality. No need to spend over the top !