Is it just a feeling? Thing is I am not perfect, I am naggy and obsessive about neatness. So I make unreasonable demands like not walking on the floor with wet feet because I clean it, like bringing dishes down even though he pays all the bills.
I want to work though so I make sure I work and pay for what I can. I use my money first and only ask for money from hubby when I have run out, and only for our child, though I have asked to borrow money from him to see my friends before on special occasions.
He tells me I don't need to work but I want to. Then when I wanted to go back to work more he made it clear I am to do all the child pick ups (he is very busy, has two jobs) so could "never earn as much as me" anyway.
I feel controlled. I was told I can't be going out all the time, because that's how I like to socialise. I don't go out and get rotten, just spend around £30 of my own money and stay out late.
He puts me down a lot, but he isn't your nasty reprobate, he's a good man who wants to provide for us. But the other night he went too far and told me he is the one in charge of the family. He told me how and what to say to our child like an order and I reacted. I said it was unacceptable and that we are meant to be a team. I just can't get past being told that I am not his equal. Not only that but in family contribution-wise. I made a big deal of it and then felt very bad for overreacting but he said that my role as homemaker (who also works from home) is "not as important as what I do" which is provide financially for the family.
Now, I don't need much. He moved into my social home and took over the bills, fair enough. One argument included him saying "I can't leave you alone because you're a fucking lunatic" told me his parenting was better than mine and I only coped alone before him because she was only a baby, which is easy.
I'm only mentioning a few things as I don't want to misrepresent anything or paint him to be worse than he is. But after I objecting to the comment about him being in charge and not myself, it has ended with him leaving, he said I'm being "a total crazy cow" because I said it was not acceptable, and that he was going to leave.
It's difficult because all our finances are intertwined but I'll be perfectly okay in my home and with my work, perhaps UC until I do get the job outside the home I want, would have to be around school hours still, but I'm happy with breakfast club etc. My child is very social.
He formed a bond very quickly with my child, which I thought was amazing as my ex is a piece of shit (I know). I got away from his asap, he was violent.
So, intertwining us so early on I'm beginning to suspect was less than altruistic.
Sorry it's long. It could be infinitely longer. I don't want him back because of all this but feel bad about that.