I have a very complicated family setup with both of my parents having remarried adding step siblings and half siblings to the fold. My aibu is about my Mums side of the family. My Mum has been married to my step dad for 16 years, when they met she quit her corporate job, sold her home and investment property and moved to Australia to live with him on his farm. All her funds from house sales were used to pay off the mortgage on the farm and all of his debt and purchase two new vehicles for them both (into the $100,000s)
Step dad has three kids from his previous marriage and my Mum has my sister and I.
Recently my Mums health has deteriorated significantly after a lupus diagnosis, so much so that she is classed as disabled and is unable to work on the farm anymore as it's very physical. My parents called a family meeting with my sister and step siblings to share the news that they will be selling the farm and business and retiring due to Mums health struggles. They then shared details of our family trust and stated that we would all be receiving a distribution after the sale has gone through. All good, very generous of them. However the overall split of the distributions and eventual inheritance is not split equally between the 5 of us. Instead my parents have split their estate 50/50 and each parent leaves their 50% to their own children. So my sister and I will receive more overall.
This has caused my stepsister who happens to be a lawyer (not working in estates) to get upset about it being unfair and how the farm proceeds should only be split between her and her brothers as it was her fathers asset originally. She has demanded financial documents, copies of both their wills as well as requesting copies of both mine and her grandparents trusts with evidence of contributions and distributions. The tone of her argument has insinuated that my Mum, sister and I are benefitting from her family financially to her detriment.
I am beyond angry on my Mums behalf, she is very ill and does not need this stress. She is now considering changing their wills so it's an even 5 way split to keep the peace.
I don't think she should at all. My mother has worked herself into the ground to save the farm and build a successful business. Without her, their family would have nothing. If anything THEY will financially benefit from MY family as my mum stands to inherit a significant amount of money from her own parents that will all be put into the same pot and eventually come to all of us.
So Mumsnet aibu? How can I best support my Mum in this situation? The atmosphere has become very strained between us and our step siblings and I can see how sad that makes Mum. Help!