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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to London for the state funeral?

76 replies

Tiggythetiger · 13/09/2022 07:19

DD (16 years old) has asked if we can travel
down to London as she wants to pay her
respects. Obviously she knows she would be part
of a crowd so to speak and not inside the funeral
itself. DH is saying "it's not safe" due to the
amount of people who would be there. Obviously
I would be with DD, it wouldn't be her there alone

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 13/09/2022 08:01

There are going to be more secrutiy forces in London that every before so safety is not an issue.

London is also I suspect going to be the busiest it has ever been. Green Park tube was already shut at the weekend, trains up from where I am (suburban Southwestern trains) are pretty much crammed full by the time they reach Waterloo.

The sheer numbers going to be there is going to be unprecedented (and London is normally pretty busy).

Work out how you are going to get there - recognise it will involve walking tube stations are going to be shut and hotel rooms are already selling out and trains.

We live 30 mins away and didnt make it this weekend (COVID!) and are debating on next Sunday but will see how it goes

Original poster
Tiggythetiger · 13/09/2022 08:02

SquirmOfEels · 13/09/2022 08:00

Your DH is wrong about safety in the crowd - that'll be fine.

The queue for the lying-in-state has already begun (first campers last night). Not sure what it's like on the route from the Palace of Westminster to the Abbey so far - I expect there might still be room but you may be towards the back.

Even less sure about courtege's route from the Abbey to Windsor Castle - it's much longer, so once past the cental London landmarks it might be easier to see the coffin in the hearse.

But if you want to be part of the crowd in the centre, how soon can you get there?

DD is in college and we live up north near Manchester but could take her out of college to go down to London I guess as she does want to go

OP posts:
watcherintherye · 13/09/2022 08:02

If safety is your only concern, I wouldn’t give it a second thought, other than using your common sense, like you would in any situation with huge crowds. I think it may be a frustrating, disappointing visit for some people who would like to see the actual procession, but end up stuck with no view or not near to a screen, but if your dd just wants to be there to soak up the atmosphere and be ‘part of’ the occasion, then go for it!

Hawkins001 · 13/09/2022 08:03

MsTSwift · 13/09/2022 07:49

The post about watching spooks for info I what could happen is hilarious! Was it a joke?!

It's all different examples of different perspectives of what could unfold vs what's likely etc, obviously not all perspectives will be usable as possible examples of different strategic possibilities.

Original poster
Tiggythetiger · 13/09/2022 08:06

Thanks everyone for the help, will discuss with DD now and try and arrange something today while she’s at college so I can take her to London

OP posts:
TheLadyofShalott1 · 13/09/2022 08:07

With the greatest respect to Her Majesty, I don't understand why people want to view her closed coffin as they will queue for hours, maybe days, to see a coffin draped in a flag. So is it to show her Family how loved she was? I could understand that, but it is a lot of time and probably money, to spend to let the Royal Family know that - I think that I would rather write a letter of condolence to my choice of her Famy Members, and I would say at the end that they needn't reply, as I know that the Queen at least, always got her Ladies-in-Waiting to reply to all of her letters if she did not do so herself. By the way, if it was an open coffin, I personally would still not have wanted to go, but I suppose people could think that they have seen HM one more time, and could say a fond farewell to her.

As for the day of the funeral itself? If I was a lot younger and healthy, I would have gone to London if I could afford to spend several days away from home/work, and if I could get there in time to allow me to get a front row position. I would also have had to be able to book a room somewhere where I could get a shower etc - so I would have needed at least one other person with me to save our places - and I would have taken a very small tent (if they are allowed), or a very big umbrella, a camping chair that reclines, a warm sleeping bag, a pillow, an extra blanket, my kindle, a big flask that I could refill in the hotel room, etc.

Unless you go down there by probably Thursday OP, I don't think that you or your DD will have a chance to actually see The Procession, but I presume that the service will be played to the crowds through loud speakers, they might even have screens up; so if you and your DD want to go for
'the atmosphere', and maybe to be able to tell that you were in London on the day of the funeral, then yes go - it will be a day that will be kept in a digital form for many, many years, maybe hundreds of years, and you and your DD will be able to imagine your Great, Great, Great Grandchildren telling their DCren that they ancesters were there on the day!

nachoavocado · 13/09/2022 08:07

What is he worried about it being safe from? The atmosphere should be quiet and subdued I'd imagine so not a party vibe, easier for them to spot trouble.

FinanceLPlates · 13/09/2022 08:09

Just a thought - someone mentioned the mobile signal being blocked at the Jubilee? I didn’t realise they might do this but can imagine it as an anti-terrorist measure.

In any case, it’s probably a good idea to discuss in advance with your DD what you would do in case you get separated. Agree a meeting point you’re both going to find even if you can’t use your phone, just as a precaution.

Then go, and experience history first hand.

IhMrsPr · 13/09/2022 08:15

As long as she understands that there will be a lot of waiting around and she won't see very much. To me personally, it wouldn't be worth it, but we're all different. I will be watching on tv, snuggled up on my sofa, mug of tea in hand. Tissues to hand as I will probably cry. Oh and a clean toilet I can use whenever I like, without queuing.

Pinkpeony2 · 13/09/2022 08:18

Changeisneeded · 13/09/2022 07:35

I went to the jubilee by about 9:00 they were restricting entry to the parks so if you are going I’d get up as early as you can and aim to be in place by 6. They did have some security measures including heavy policing, sniffer dogs and also the mobile signal was blocked. I expect it will be similar for the funeral and at no point did I not feel safe.

Mobile signal was not blocked. I went and got to the front with my kids at 10:30am. Was texting and sending photos of the kids waving and all the parade throughout

SuperCamp · 13/09/2022 08:20

I don’t think it will be unsafe, particularly.

will there be big screens up in Green or Hyde Park, I wonder?

The atmosphere will be incredible, whether or not you see the procession itself.

LucyFox · 13/09/2022 08:23

there is not going to be much of a procession on Monday - weds is the day for that … it depends what she thinks she will see but how would she feel about the Long Walk at Windsor to see Her Majesty arrive for the final part? Otherwise, as long as she knows she may see very little I would take her - it’s living history

MiauzenKatzenjammer · 13/09/2022 08:24

It will be crowded, noisy, she won't see much and she's likely to end up very bored and very tired, but there's no reason why it should be actually unsafe.

SuperCamp · 13/09/2022 08:25

Yes, there are screens, the Evening Standard has a schedule, and .Gov.uk and the Gov site says where the screens will be.

sidewayswalking · 13/09/2022 08:26

I would take her if you can. Your DH negativity is ridiculous. This is a huge part of history, particularly for our younger generations. DD bought newspapers and is planning to keep a selection of coins etc, and we still have some bits we bought for the Platinum jubilee so she can have those too. We are in Scotland so won't be going to London but if we lived closer I definitely would have gone.

userxx · 13/09/2022 08:30

SuperCamp · 13/09/2022 08:25

Yes, there are screens, the Evening Standard has a schedule, and .Gov.uk and the Gov site says where the screens will be.

Can you post the link please ?

DixonD · 13/09/2022 08:31

Habbyhadno · 13/09/2022 07:30

I think I'm going to go, I live 30 mins away by train but I'm going to catch the first one in at 04:50. My friend's husband works in Westminster and said people are camping out already to secure a spot, so I don't expect to see much unless I get lucky.

If you’re not going to see anything, why bother? Better watching it on TV. At least you’ll see it. Much more in fact.

ilovesooty · 13/09/2022 08:52

No way would I spend the money or time travelling that distance probably to see very little but I don't see why it would be unsafe.

IhMrsPr · 13/09/2022 08:53

This is not a sarcastic question, I'm being genuine - what does being part of history mean? Aren't we all part of history anyway, as we're alive now, while this is happening?

sidewayswalking · 13/09/2022 08:55

IhMrsPr · 13/09/2022 08:53

This is not a sarcastic question, I'm being genuine - what does being part of history mean? Aren't we all part of history anyway, as we're alive now, while this is happening?

I guess being involved? Being there?

When you see old footage on the TV and your nana says 'I was there' and beings to tell her story, or similar, being there is different to watching on TV.

girlmom21 · 13/09/2022 08:56

IhMrsPr · 13/09/2022 08:53

This is not a sarcastic question, I'm being genuine - what does being part of history mean? Aren't we all part of history anyway, as we're alive now, while this is happening?

It's more experiencing a moment in history. Experiencing the atmosphere. Taking a photo that your grandchildren could look at in 30 years time when they're learning about kings and queens in school. That's quite something.

IhMrsPr · 13/09/2022 09:12

@sidewayswalking and @girlmom21 thank you.

SleeplessInEngland · 13/09/2022 09:16

sidewayswalking · 13/09/2022 08:26

I would take her if you can. Your DH negativity is ridiculous. This is a huge part of history, particularly for our younger generations. DD bought newspapers and is planning to keep a selection of coins etc, and we still have some bits we bought for the Platinum jubilee so she can have those too. We are in Scotland so won't be going to London but if we lived closer I definitely would have gone.

The DH is being silly, but it's also silly to get expectations up that much. The reality of the day will be rammed public transport and shoulder to shoulder crowds with an inability to see anything unless you go to a park and watch on a big screen, which you can probably do in many cities.

The OP has pretty much confirmed they're going to go, but let's not pretend it's going to be something it isn't.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 13/09/2022 09:35

It's a good point about mobiles. The signal does go in very large crowds. The masts just can't handle the number of phones connecting on. A back up plan in case of separation is definitely needed.

Westfacing · 13/09/2022 10:11

IhMrsPr · 13/09/2022 08:53

This is not a sarcastic question, I'm being genuine - what does being part of history mean? Aren't we all part of history anyway, as we're alive now, while this is happening?

For me, as a non-monarchist, it's being a witness to history... there is this huge event going on and I can walk there.

In the main I shall avoid the area in the next few days but this afternoon will go with a friend as far as we can reasonably get to have a look at the flowers and have a gander at the goings-on.