Aibu to hide away when stressed?

[Hibernationsetting]

Evening

I have name changed as this will be recognisable if you know me.

I want to know if other people find themselves withdrawing when times are tough, even from good friends who are offering support?

It’s not been a great year. I am on the committee for a club; the rest of the old committee walked out over the nomination of someone to committee by the club. I stayed through some apparently in hindsight misguided sense of loyalty to the club. My late mother was a member and it was a big part of her life. I felt responsible to keep it going.

some of the old committee were my good friends, but feel betrayed and I know will never forgive me for not walking too. I have regretted it ever since but didn’t want to break my word to the members so I’ve stuck it out and helped a new committee get off the ground.

ive been I’ll all summer and diagnosed with a life long but treated health condition. My head is very fuzzy.

I’m also going through a redundancy process at work.

all summer people have been kind but I just can’t accept their help. I don’t want to see anyone except my husband and child. I can’t even face reading their kind text messages.

tonight, it’s become apparent I have dropped the ball. A friend is very upset that I have allowed the club committee to do something I shouldn’t have allowed because of the history of a person involved.

I accept responsibility because I am the only one left in the committee who knew the history, but with my brain fog I forgot how awful it was.

i have apologised but it isn’t enough.

the aibu is more about why do I self sabotage my friendships when I probably need them most? I’m worried that between my fuck ups and my apparent inability to even communicate with my friends, I won’t have any friends left.

so why then, am I being so reclusive and illogical? I’m worried about pushing more friends away but can’t seem to stop myself.

should I be making more effort or is it ok to just resign from the club, keep taking the medication and hope my health condition improves and hide away until it does?

any advice for a very sad person tonight. I didn’t mean to hurt my friends so badly when I forgot to explain to the committee about the history.

What you seem to be saying is that most of a committee walked out, but you stayed because of loyalty to the club. You are now being blamed ( by these same people?) for allowing something to happen that you shouldn't have allowed because of something historical that only you knew about?
I think if something is done by committee, it is the full committee who are responsible for decisions made. If the people criticising you are so convinced this shouldn't have happened, they should have taken steps to prevent it.. eg staying on the committee, or making sure the new committee was notified if was so important. I really don't see how this is your sole responsibility.
I don't see how one person can be to blame for this. How were you in a position to control the new committee? It sounds like this is the view of someone looking for someone to blame.
It also sounds as if you are at the end of your tether and need to step back and hole up at home with your family while you take stock and deal with your health issues. And maybe find friends who are not so quick to dump you in it.

Get rid of the council let them get in with it, ‘you look after yourself hugs.

Put the committee to one side for ten seconds. That's a red herring.

Your health: thyroid, peri-menopause? Lots of boards on here can help with that. But most of all, you need to stop giving a f*ck. Soooo many people in life will drag you down and you just have to say No. You have to live your own life, the one you want and deserve.

Back to the committee. I think you should resign. I think you do it with quiet and gracious dignity. You don't owe them an explanation at all. Just a simple, 'On reflection, I have decided to step down from the position to allow someone else to carry the role forward'.

(I'm assuming you're not covering up for a nonce there. If so, say now.)

I left a committee a few years ago, after being with the group in some form over half my life.
People wanted more help than we could give and it was going to sink us. I wanted us to stop sinking and cut back services, others wanted us to keep crippling ourselves to help others even more than we were, so I walked.

No regrets. Got to put yourself first at some point.

Oh love, this is not all on you. If you had also left with the others, no one would have known anything. Committee decisions fall on all concerned. So ignore the so called friend whining on about it. It was a committee decision. Gossip and history is often irrelevant and plain nasty, at least in my experience in small communities.

On to you. You come first. It sounds like you want out of this committee so do that. Resign politely and graciously, you no longer are able to commit to the role. No reasons, no excuses, walk away. The second you do so I promise you will feel immediately lighter. I had reason to do this myself back at Easter and ever since I’ve felt like a different person, no longer bogged down in other peoples nonsense. I’ve been able to focus on the things that matter to me. That’s invaluable.

The friend issue, well that depends. If all they do is bitch about former committee then you might be better off away from them too. But that’s for later. Focus on you and your health, your family, having a lovely Christmas and new year as it’s not so far away. Then after you’ve had some space you might be better placed to consider what and who you want in your life.

Stop overthinking. No one else will think this much about you, so give yourself that headspace back. You sound a kind and caring person: your mum would not want you to be so hurt and upset over this. Time to let it go x

Ah thank you so much. All of you.

in all honesty, the person who is upset has every right to be. The historical event involved them as the victim, and they are a good friend of mine. I knew all about the event, I just forgot/ didn’t click and consider the consequences of it.

@DelphiniumBlue I can’t control
the committee- it’s democratic, but I should have remembered and explained the historical context. I didn’t, and I couldn’t come up with a viable alternative course of action at the time. Perhaps if I had explained the committee would have chosen a different outcome.

@SpinCityBlues good guess. Thyroid. I’ve been at crisis point with it, because the NHS didn’t act when I begged. I’m on a whacking great dose of thyroxine but it’s only been a week or so, and isn’t fully working. My body temp has come up, and I can stay awake for most of a day now. I had been sleeping 18/24 hours a day, very slow heart rate, low body temp, and my skin had dried and cracked and my hair fallen out. Also being investigated for other issues as have some suspicious lumps in my neck so waiting on ultrasound and nasopharyngeal endoscopy.

why oh why did I not just leave with everyone else? It would have been much easier.

OP, it can take weeks before you see real improvement in your thyroid symptoms. Keep taking the tablets!