The angels brought you

[Shelovestosingthatsong]

I waited years to have Dd, now 4, she was an ivf baby after many losses and was a miracle really.
When she was a bit younger, she was interested in when she was in my tummy etc, as they are. She asked how I got there and I said that mummy and daddy waited for a long time for her and wished for her and the angels brought her. I was probably speaking emotionally at the time and it seemed a simple, sweet way to explain it.
My Dm and Dh have since acted like I shouldn’t have said it, when she’s sort of asked again, I’ve said when a mummy and daddy love each other, they wish for a baby and if they are lucky, they have one…that sort of thing. She prefers to say the angels brought her and smiles when she says it…is it ok I said that? 🤷🏻‍♀️I’m being made to geek it kind of isn’t…obviously as she gets older it will become more age appropriate etc.
My mum also seems to want to go into more detail about death when Dd brings up her grandad dying (Dh’s dad-she never met him but he tells her about him fairly often) whereas if she asks I keep it simpler and she seems quite happy with the response and moves on to the next thing. Do we really need my dm trying to give more detailed explanations? I actively said to her to please not to and she said along the lines of I’m too soft and need to prelate her for life…yes, but at 4?! Can’t we keep them innocent as long as possible, is there anything wrong with that 🤷🏻‍♀️

many adults don't understand what a metaphor is so I don't think you can expect a 4 yo to

@Shelovestosingthatsong my Dad (who has been gone a year now...hopefully driving the Angels mad with his bad jokes) used to tell me that I was the baby waving my comforter, my Boo-boo, at them when they went to chose a baby at the hospital....I was adopted at 10 days old. In fact he drew me a cartoon book of the whole thing that I thought I had imagined until finding it in my teens.

Then years later he told me that I had been conceived in a moment of passion on a beach on New Year's Eve but that unfortunately my birth mother couldn't keep me. (NYE is summertime in SA where I was born).

Of course whether either of these stories are true...who knows lol....but they worked for me at the time. And I suffered no ill effects. And most importantly they remind me of what an imaginative and caring parent he was now that he has gone and I smile remembering the tales he spun me as a child.

When your DD came to you I bet you believed that the Angels HAD delivered her. They don't need to be religiously accurate Angels. They are your very own special ones!

Just to clarify, I had said it to Dd as in the angels put her in my tummy etc, not that they’d literally delivered her in a box outside the door 😅

Be open about the way she was conceived. Make it normal for her

Saying the angels brought her is rediculous. And saying that if mommys and daddys wish for a baby, that if they are lucky (?) They get a baby???also rediculous

Tell them that normally a baby grows in the womb (or say tummy but I find that weird as i like to call it as is) and that she was conceived in a different way.
Make it normal to her and for her.
You are just going to make it weird for her when she is 12 and found out she came from a tube in a lab.
Dont shelter her. Educate her. Otherise it could backfire later in life

And tell her about death ESPECIALLY now with the Queen and all. You wont take away her innocence by explaining life and death. Death is normal.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the angel story, but I personally prefer to be direct with my child and give him age appropriate info on the birds and the bees. He's 7 and gets on the school bus with 15 yr olds so he's going to hear stuff - I'd rather he heard it from me than heard it from an older kid and misunderstand it all. We didn't have IVF but a friend did to conceive her child, so we talked about that with him and about how gay and lesbian couples can have babies using IVF/adoption etc. He found it quite interesting but hasn't mentioned it or asked about it since. We also bought him Adam Kay's kids book about the human body and read that with him, it explains a lot.
With regards to death, I think you have to talk to them about it because at some point in their childhood they are probably going to lose a pet or older family member. I lost my mum at a young age so I've always raised him talking about his 'other nanny' and every now and then he asks questions about her but he doesn't seem to be upset about it all. I think making things like sex and death seem so secretive and taboo to children might make it more scary and strange for them.

Posting to get spam off front page.

I would say that some people are ill for a while, some die suddenly, you have a healthy lifestyle because you want to be around for as long as possible and most people are grown ups by the time their parents die

Best to be honest, and age appropriate

Some of our kids already lost their dad's by 4. I think being honest about death makes it easier when confronted with it.

I generally go with an age appropriate truth policy rather than totally making stuff up.

For example, my niece knows her baby brother came out of mummy's tummy via her "nunny" but she also thinks that mummy and daddy decided to have a baby and so they did.

I don't think you need to outright lie, especially as she'll surely meet pregnant women at some point.