To feel deflated that big costs are never ending

[incognitopurple]

Lighthearted, but adulting has got the better of me today.

Tried to watch Now TV and the app won’t work as the smart television (2015) is too old to support the app. Looked on the Curry’s website for new TVs, who knows where to start. We have a comfortable sofa but they are hand me downs from my parents and need replacing soonish.

We moved in some months ago and the only spare room is full of clothes rails. It looks like a jumble sale, we need wardrobes really but again where to start - seems like such a huge expense.

Myself and OH work full time and earning averagely. We have about £1500 disposable income left over after all direct debits, bills and food/household shopping each month between us but amongst this want to save. I recognise it’s a privilege in the cost of living crisis to have anything left over

OH drives a 12 year old car and we are dreading putting it through its MOT as there will undoubtedly be more to repair and service than the value of the car, or close to. He owns in full and has looked after it but he is debating getting a new car on lease before this, add yet another expense to the pot!

I really wonder how most people afford things. Does everyone else feel a bit like there’s one thing after another?!! The more I look at bigger purchases, the more I talk myself out of them. If you’ve disposable income in the bank is the honest answer to this to just rip the plaster off and do it? Ha!

Oh whatever I don’t think your tone deaf - you make more and likely your lifestyle costs more - who cares? I totally get it - feels like we never get ahead. Whenever there is money on the horizon there is also some big house problem or car problem or massive bill for kids sports or what not. I suppose on paper we also look like we should have savings but it never seems to pan out like that.

didn’t mean to be tone deaf but I can really see how it comes out that way.
Saying you're confused how you'll afford big items on £1500 disposable income IS tone deaf when half the threads here are from ppl unable to switch a light or radiator on!!

It sounds like a budgeting issue. You need to work out more occasional costs and put money aside each month eg. Holidays, Christmas, annual bills, clothes. Then have a separate savings account for household costs - saving up for new sofas etc. Then also saving for emergencies. Sounds like tv is a priority but you could put up with old sofas till you have enough or buy from your savings.

I don’t know if it’s reasonable but I feel the same. Had a real run of expensive things and I have a tax bill I need to pay. It does suddenly seem much harder to save much which is making me really nervous. I keep thinking we’ll have a cheap month then things pop up - £400 on glasses this month for example.

To put this into context I have less left over a month than you do but we are a family of 5 including me, dh and 3 very hungry boys plus 3 cats. We don’t struggle and have a nice house with new decoration and fairly new furniture, savings, holidays and the kids activities com3 out of the “spare” money. I think you need to look at your day to day spending, write everything down including the little tears like a Costa, supermarket lunch, nights out, dinners out, takeaways etc. These all make up to a very large amount of money. You don’t have an income problem you have a spending problem and that’s quit easily to sort if it’s non essential spending.

I just sound like you dont want to spend any money op. Of course you can afford a new sofa etc but you dont want to buy it.

Not the OP but this is true of me definitely. Especially for holidays. I read about people spending thousands and can’t imagine allowing myself to do the same even though I have it readily available in savings.

Our TV is 12yo. we get disney, prime, netflix, iplayer etc all through a Roku stick. Check you can't use use an easy add on before spashing out on a new one when you have something functional (from a financial and environmental stand point)

I wonder whether part of the issue is that you dont have 1500 going spare but lots of costs that arent option but you havent accounted for. Thats not to say that you cant afford a tv but I can see why you might feel like you cant afford things. We only have 900 left over but thats after we have deducted savings, insurances, holiday pot, kids pot, childcare, saving aside for the house. It's still no where near enough

I second the idea of getting a nowtv, amazon or roku stick for the TV. No need to get a new TV when you can solve the problem for less than £40.

I set up multiple savings accounts for the various things that I want (annual clothes budget etc) or will need replacing (laptop/phone whatever). Or even things like dental treatment. Each month at payday, an amount goes into those saving pots.

It stops the extra money getting frittered away and forces me to save for what I want.

I could be wrong but is your problem more about prevaricating and avoiding decisions than actually spending money you obviously have?
I have enough money to live on but somehow struggle to make big purchases - I buy a car outright and run it into the ground and have no choice but to replace
All my furniture is second hand but even then I delay changing things
About 2 years ago I had a roof leak which caused a flood and ceiling collapse - I got the roof fixed as soon as I could but still haven’t got my act together to have the internal work done
some furniture was damaged during this and I’ve spent months looking for something I liked second hand - eventually bought something but now im not sure it’s right so have kept the old stuff in attic until I decide
maybe I just can’t cope with change - the thought of trying to sort out plasterers, decorators, new carpets and the general upheaval just means I keep putting it off
I could probably do with a newer TV - current one is 3rd hand and I find it tricky to use - but I’m put off buying another as they all seem too complicated - I only watch it occasionally anyway

Have you considered tracking what you're spending for a month? Every single penny. Then sitting down with your partner and discussing whether the spending aligns with your values and financial goals? You could also Google average food/energy etc costs to see where you sit and may be over spending or where you are being reasonable.

I use YNAB to track our spending and it really helps. I do share your sentiment though. We are both higher rate tax payers, DH earns a fair whack in particular, and after childcare, one car, the mortgage and everything else I do wonder where it all goes!