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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU sharing car payments

17 replies

loopyb · 12/09/2022 22:04

I'm about to pay my car finance off after 6 years of payments. DHs will be getting a new car next year.

We'll share both cars as the new car will be used as a family car, and mine will be a smaller run around. He wants me to share the finance on the new car. I didn't think it's reasonable as I've spent thousands purchasing my car which we'll now share. I feel like I'll be out of pocket when I was finally going to be free or car payments! AIBU?!

OP posts:
PeekAtYou · 12/09/2022 22:05

Did he help pay for your car?

Original poster
loopyb · 12/09/2022 22:06

No all paid for by myself! I can see his reasoning as it'll be a family car and I will use it. Whereas before we kept to using our own cars.

But it still feels unbalanced.

OP posts:
Hymnulop · 12/09/2022 22:38

Just say 'no thanks, we'll just keep to using separate cars in that case, I'm not paying towards it'

Iloveacurry · 12/09/2022 22:41

Seems unfair as he didn’t help pay towards your car. Are his payments more than yours?

LexMitior · 12/09/2022 22:43

This doesn't work - if you got divorced tomorrow, he would be liable in part for your payments, and vice versa while you were paying your car off... in reality because you are married, its joint assets and debts. I would just agree to pool your money. Is there a reason why you don't?

NoSquirrels · 12/09/2022 22:44

Both your cars are becoming family cars. If he wants you to help pay 50% of the new car then the fair thing to do is for him to pay you 50% of the value of your car.

Or, you know, seeing as your married and all you could have a joint family expenses account, and avoid all this.

Lovesgreen · 12/09/2022 23:09

If you have just finished paying for one car he should pay for the other. Why should you pay for two cars when he isn't? We pay for our own cars but if I need the big family car as I have sons friends etc that day I take it. Whatever meets our needs for that day, a long as we have transport. Its a relief to be done with car payments for a few years, it's not fair to expect you to take them on again.

RobertsRadio · 12/09/2022 23:15

"He wants me to share the finance on the new car". I bet he does. Why didn't he suggest sharing the finance on your car? My answer would be the Mumsnet classic, "No, that doesn't work for me".

BigChesterDraws · 12/09/2022 23:16

I would just agree to pool your money. Is there a reason why you don't?

Exactly. I have never understood why a married couple with children would have “my money”, “his money”, “my car”, etc. You’re a family. One unit. Just pool the money and you wouldn’t even be writing this thread. You’d be doing something far more interesting right now. When you buy a bottle of milk or a loaf do you divide it up into “yours” and “his” parts? If not, why would you do that with anything else?

Talipesmum · 12/09/2022 23:21

If you’re both going to be using both cars, then (assuming you both earn equal amounts) he should pay you half of your total car payments on your existing car, and then you can go on half the finance for the family car. Then they’re both shared. (Or he deducts the amount he owes you on a monthly basis from the finance so you don’t pay as much).

If one of you earns less than the other, the car payments should be in proportion.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 12/09/2022 23:24

He must think you came down in the last shower! You pay 100% for yours and 50% of his but share both?

So you’ve paid for a car and a half, and him half a car, but you each have a half share in two cars, making one car each? No way!

Cats23 · 12/09/2022 23:29

no, not fair at all.
My dp pays for his car and I pay for mine- Mine is the family car but Dp v.rarely comes in it.

Threelittlelambs · 12/09/2022 23:32

I have never understood why a married couple with children would have “my money”, “his money”, “my car”, etc. You’re a family. One unit

I haven’t worked hard for my independence to give away my spending power!

DH earns four times whet I do and I still don’t want to share! It’s a matter of pride.

Pixiedust1234 · 12/09/2022 23:38

He needs to give you back 50% of your car payments first. His new car might end up being the family car but I bet he gets first dibs on yours if the family car is off road (mot, unable to pay for flat tyre immediately, accident, no fuel).

Yeah , hold your hand out first.

HangOnToYourself · 12/09/2022 23:41

Tell him you will start paying when he has paid you 50% of the full value of your car first

Original poster
loopyb · 13/09/2022 08:48

Thanks everyone sounds like I'm fair to be a bit peeved by this!

For those asking why we don't pool our money - we have a joint account where mortgage, food and all other bills are taken from. We keep our remaining wages separate to spend or save as we please - including our cars usually!

OP posts:
Original poster
loopyb · 13/09/2022 08:54

Threelittlelambs · 12/09/2022 23:32

I have never understood why a married couple with children would have “my money”, “his money”, “my car”, etc. You’re a family. One unit

I haven’t worked hard for my independence to give away my spending power!

DH earns four times whet I do and I still don’t want to share! It’s a matter of pride.

Precisely this! I want control of my earnings.

I'm a saver and DH is a spender - pooling all our money would cause a whole world of disagreements!

OP posts:
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