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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you're a dick if you let your kid do this at softplay?

60 replies

FuckOffff · 12/09/2022 19:57

Run riot in the under 3s / toddler section and don't say anything.

I'm sick of taking my kids to these places and having to mind my toddler as a bunch of 9 years olds run through the young children's section without a care for the toddling kids and babies they are nearly knocking over.

I get you don't always know where your children are but there are some parents who obviously know their children are in there and who don't say anything, I've even seen some where the parents are in the toddler section with their own young child whilst their older ones hurtle about.

Fuck off and use the section for older kids! And tell your kids they aren't to enter that section at all!

I have older DC that come with us sometimes and they are always instructed at the start that they'll be in trouble if I catch them going in the babies section. Does my head in.

OP posts:
FarmerRefuted · 12/09/2022 20:01

Mine know that if its empty then they're allowed in there, our local one has a sensory bit in the toddler area and eldest loves the sensory bit (autistic) but if little ones arrive then they have to come out. I caught my youngest trying to sneak in last week and made them go back to the older kids section, I pointed out that when they were the right size for the toddler bit they were desperate to get into the older section.

SouperNoodle · 12/09/2022 20:04

I'm one of those parents that tells the older kids to get out and they're not even mine 🙃
If there are children putting toddlers/babies at risk of getting knocked over/hurt and their parents aren't doing anything, I have no qualms with telling them to leave.

Onehotmess · 12/09/2022 20:04

Parents think once they enter soft play they are no longer responsible for their little cherubs don’t they?
i find if you ‘tell them off’ loudly enough the parent will come over to speak to you and you can explain the rules to them.

Beezknees · 12/09/2022 20:04

YANBU I stopped taking my DC to soft play when they were about 6!

FLOWER1982 · 12/09/2022 20:05

Isn’t 9 a bit old for soft play?!

Skinnermarink · 12/09/2022 20:06

I kick them out, loudly and firmly, I tell the kids first then make sure the parents have heard. Usually the kids will shuffle out when I tell them. But I have to spend a lot of time at soft play, I have my own baby and I’m a nanny to two little ones too, I’m not there to make friends- I’m usually working 😂There was a six year old blundering around last week in the baby bit being really rough and the mum was just wheedling ‘oh can you come out of there darling come on, you’re not a baby’ and the kid wasn’t listening at all. I said ‘can you tell her to get out, not ask, it’s not safe for the babies’ and she did go in and get her.

It’s lazy parenting and not setting out rules and boundaries around small babies and it fucks me off.

SparrowsNest · 12/09/2022 20:10

SouperNoodle · 12/09/2022 20:04

I'm one of those parents that tells the older kids to get out and they're not even mine 🙃
If there are children putting toddlers/babies at risk of getting knocked over/hurt and their parents aren't doing anything, I have no qualms with telling them to leave.

Absolutely this! Although at our local soft play centre the staff deal with this isaue pretty promptly.

UWhatNow · 12/09/2022 20:11

Problem is you’ve got dickhead selfish parents (loose term) who won’t want to upset precious little Johnny by saying no to them, and why should they, they’ve paid the entry fee… why should they be denied anything? Even if it means they upset others and grow up never hearing the word no so they turn into thuggy teenage shits who in turn become inconsiderate selfish arses like their own parents. Grrr - why can’t people just parent properly? Obey the rules and everyone has a nice time. It’s not brain surgery!

YANBU

Summerishere123 · 12/09/2022 20:12

You wouldn't believe the stuff that kids do in soft play. I run one and have been told to fuck off (by child), had them poo on the equipment, had staff spat at and hit.
Had to parent numerous kids that are stealing shit from the cafe and off tables. All the while the parents are sat on their phones seemingly oblivious.

oddoneoutalways · 12/09/2022 20:16

SouperNoodle · 12/09/2022 20:04

I'm one of those parents that tells the older kids to get out and they're not even mine 🙃
If there are children putting toddlers/babies at risk of getting knocked over/hurt and their parents aren't doing anything, I have no qualms with telling them to leave.

Me too! Mine are 4 and 6 now and they know they're not allowed in the baby bit, if they got in they'd be hoicked swiftly out!

But when my youngest was small and I had to be in there I had no problem putting on a stern teacher voice (am not a teacher!) and telling them 'out you go, this area is for the toddlers.... now please' whilst eyeballing them. They soon got out.

It's not the kids fault really. Lazy parents! But then soft play is a haven for them anyway, I hate the place.

zeromango · 12/09/2022 20:27

Ugh yes! We don't go often but it was raining so took my 8 month old DS to the under 1s section and it was just constantly full of older kids using the soft blocks to hit each other with. The seating area was massive and most parents were sat right at the back! No staff around and the kids weren't listening to us so we left unfortunately. Only upside is that under 1's were free .... probably why!

OriginalUsername3 · 12/09/2022 20:27

I absolutely tell them off. And I never thought I'd be that type of person. If its quiet and they're playing nice then absolutely fine. But I've had kids that were about ten telling my 1yo off for trying to play with something that they wanted to play with. Kids that belly flop into the ball pit that is only just the size of them while there are babies in it.

The other day a group of kids 12-8 ish were in the non-walking baby bit (Ours has big kids, under 3s and non walkers) moving all the bloody stuff. They'd emptied the ball pit out and were Pilling all the soft blocks and climbing things and rockers all in the sensory bit. We don't even use that bit, but I went in and told them to put it all back! Can you imagine being a new mum taking your baby there and all the stuff is piled up and you can't play on anything?! It's right at the front. If you're sat in the cafe where you should be it's right in front of your face, you know if your kid is in there and it had taken them a while by the time I saw them.

People think soft plays and parks are places to take a break from parenting their little brats.

Babynumber32023 · 12/09/2022 20:42

I have stopped taking mine to soft play because of this. The staff should say something or put up more signage but at the end of the day it's the parents responsibility.

Chocoholic900 · 12/09/2022 20:48

Really irritates me too. The baby or toddler section is normally small, and not even that great at a lot of soft plays, just makes it even worse when you have a bunch of 6 year olds in there causing havoc. My older two know they aren't allowed in them and if I'm in with the younger one they can come in to see me but they have to sit down as I do as an adult in there.

I used to work in a soft play and we'd go round every so often to check all is okay on the play frame (it was a huge soft play) and they'd always be older kids in the toddler section and we'd always ask to them to leave, but 10 minutes later they'd just end up going back.

Think some parents completely switch off from parenting when they are at soft play and let them get away with terrible behaviour.
There was an incident at ours the other week where a 5 year old was kicked and punched by 3 other 5 year olds and ended up quite badly hurt!

AlbertaAnnie · 12/09/2022 20:48

UANBU - however this I think has been a problem since the dawn of soft play and continue to be forever more unfortunately

pimlicoanna · 12/09/2022 20:51

I just tell them they shouldn't be in there and smile. They leave

alwaysdarkestbeforedawn · 12/09/2022 20:57

The only time I’ve found soft play age restrictions tricky was when my youngest was a baby and his big sister wanted to play with him. It seemed a shame not to let her. So there were times when she and a friend played in the baby section with their little siblings. Only if it was quiet and they didn’t get too boisterous though. If more babies came in or they started getting wild I’d ask them to go and play in their section. So while I wouldn’t let older kids “hurtle about” I do think it’s fine to have a little leeway when it comes to age limits.

Now my two are both too old for the baby/toddler section so I wouldn’t let them in at all. It’s never been an issue though. The baby section is completely separate in the soft plays we go to and pretty boring for them so they wouldn’t choose to go into it. To be honest I’ve never witnessed what you describe. I don’t understand why older kids would want to be in the baby section. Maybe the soft play you attend is not designed well. Are there any others you could try?

Bagpuss2022 · 12/09/2022 21:05

It is very annoying yes I’m way passed the soft play days but it also works the opposite when you get 18 month/2 years olds in the big kid bit with the parents helicopter who don’t want any of the big kids near there little angels hell on earth play-centres

SherbetDips · 12/09/2022 21:07

@FarmerRefuted They don’t need to be in the under 3’a busy or empty.

SherbetDips · 12/09/2022 21:08

I shouted at some kids who nearly jumped on the toddler I care for.

Grumpybutfunny · 12/09/2022 21:08

It depends on the soft play the one we use is large so it's impossible to see what kids are doing 24/7 and at 8 years old I ain't following him around. I pay £15 for him to go play with his friends whilst we have coffee.

It's usually keeping him off the slide that's 9+ or watching the go karts don't become dodgems but they also have a massive ball pit in the under 5s section that attracts the older kids. When DS was younger I used to spend it following him in the play frame and making sure he didn't get hurt.

Jjones8 · 12/09/2022 21:11

Tell them to leave - quite simple.

MargaretThursday · 12/09/2022 21:11

I remember that. In the under 4s section a 10yo thought he could run up the slide backwards and knocked my 18 month old flying.
I said to him "how old are you?" and when he said "10yo" I replied "This is for under 4s so you shouldn't be in here".
According to his aggressive mum "I had severely traumatised and upset him"...

NuffSaidSam · 12/09/2022 21:17

YANBU

It's a simple rule and not following it is just lazy, feckless parenting.

MikeWozniaksMoustache · 12/09/2022 21:19

FLOWER1982 · 12/09/2022 20:05

Isn’t 9 a bit old for soft play?!

What a sad thought.

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