My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To think there is someone else?

4 replies

Maxiemoo10 · 12/09/2022 11:29

My dp of 23ish years last night came home from a weekend away, I must say things have been tense between us for a few years and we've been in separate rooms. After I lost 2 close family members and he lost 1 his way to get over this was t return to college and become a teenager again staying out all night, partying with 20 year olds etc.
Whilst I stayed home, kept the roof over our heads, looked after our ds who was 5 at the time (now 10). We've had our arguments over the years but always got past them and lately wed become a lot more happier together.

He announced last week he was going away Friday just gone, it wasn't like him at all to do this but he swore he told me (he is very absent minded so he genuinely could have here, i've also been away with my best friend this year so thought nothing of him going away with his).

He didn't call or text me the entire time. 1 text to ds on Saturday to say he was going to the beach and ask him how his day had been. I also noticed from his whatapp he was barely online, yet since coming back hasn't been off his phone.

we got into an argument last night over him telling ds off for something (was more his tone and method of punishment I dont agree with than the reason behind it). He said some very harsh things last night such as he doesnt see this progressing, then stopped himself and told me he didnt want to do it this way.

So after dropping ds off at school he text to ask if we could talk - during this he told me he wanted to leave, didnt see a future with me anymore, told me numerous things such as I always put him down, we are very different now and the one thing thats been replaying in my mind was him saying he didnt want to be 30 years down the line and regret not doing things he wanted to do, asked like what and he said well you dont like going in the water and I do, something so insignificant but its on my mind. he said it as if he had a pros and cons list against me and somebody else.

I suppose I knew this was coming, we'd both buried our heads for sometime. but theres something niggling at me telling me men dont leave unless they have someone else to go to. My heads a mess, I haven't told anybody else all of this, i've barely slept, I feel sick that he's finally said those words he doesnt want to continue with this. I always thought there was a 20% chance we'd pull through and be ok. but he's made up his mind. I feel like I cant breathe.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

19 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
37%
You are NOT being unreasonable
63%
GoldenSpiral · 12/09/2022 11:37

I'm sorry you're going through this OP. It sounds like you both gave up on the relationship a long time ago and it is doing no one any good by continuing this way. You both sound exhausted.

You deserve to be happy and your son deserves to live in a happy home. It might seem scary now but I bet in 30 years time YOU will be grateful.

LeilaDarling · 12/09/2022 11:39

He’s made up his mind and he wants you to almost give him permission to call it a day. Personally I would end it and build a new life for yourself, it sounds like habit and mediocre to me. Choose to be happy x

Maxiemoo10 · 12/09/2022 12:17

Thank you both for replying.
I know what you're saying ir right, i'm just heartbroken right now and cant see past this.
Id give anything to skip the next few months

OP posts:
Jizzle · 12/09/2022 13:03

To be perfectly honest OP, it sounds like he has done you a massive favour. By all accounts you were both just hanging on hoping it would improve, but why put yourself through that? Life is for living and enjoying, not being unhappy with the person you are supposed to love.

I know it is tough right now, but look at the bigger picture, this gives you a chance at a new start, something you probably should have taken 5+ years ago.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.