AIBU?
Overwhelmed - everything seems to be going wrong
populartree · 11/09/2022 23:30
I'm struggling. I've been on antidepressants for depression and anxiety (triggered by crap life circumstances) for almost 2 years and see a counsellor.
I'm trying to get a better job so I can earn enough money to leave a bad relationship - it's not abusive but is really negatively affecting my mental health. I thought I would be out by now but I've had a few setbacks and I honestly don't know when I'll be able to leave.
Today I found out that an ex friend goes to a new club I had just signed up for and was looking forward to. So now I need to cancel that membership because it's a small group setting and I wouldn't feel comfortable there at all.
I go to my therapist privately and it's expensive. A family member had very kindly been helping me out by paying a proportion of the cost, but today they have told me that they are no longer able to help me in this way. So I will need to find the extra money to make up the difference myself, or reduce/stop my therapy. Going to see my counsellor is a lifeline that I look forward to each week. I've built up a good relationship with them and I really like them. So I really don't want to go to someone else.
I feel overwhelmed and stuck - I'm trying my best to change my circumstances and get out but for some reason nothing's going my way. It's just discouraging and I'm afraid it'll be like this forever, and I really can't deal with that.
populartree · 12/09/2022 00:39
I thought Women’s Aid was aimed at women who have experienced domestic abuse?
RileyK · 12/09/2022 00:40
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ToFindNewWays · 12/09/2022 00:43
Can you think of any savings you could make elsewhere in the week to allow you to fully fund your counselling?
Sending support, sounds a very stressful time, but it will pass 
Hakunamatata91 · 12/09/2022 00:48
Roughly where are you based? There's lots of charities that can provide free or sliding scale fee (ie the less you earn the less you pay) counseling. If you say roughly where you are people might be able to suggest some.
Is there anywhere else you could do the new hobby, or anything else you could do that appeals? If you're feeling depressed then hobbies can make a difference so worth trying to still find something to do.
You know your relationship best but remember a lot of abuse can be psychological and pretty subtle. And if you're depressed already you'll be pretty vulnerable to it. Either way, it can't be helping things to stay in a relationship that's not working. Is there no way at all you could work things out so you can leave, even if it means cutting some corners?
Remember being overwhelmed can be a big symptom of depression. Doesn't solve it but sometimes it can help to see it as part of the illness, rather than just a reflection of your life. Just try break things down into as small goals as possible and focus on one step at a time.
Hope you're feeling better soon, it's horrible to feel that way. But things can improve, if you set small wheels in motion now hopefully you'll look back in a couple years and feel so relieved you're not in that space any more. Just don't give up hope.
Cw112 · 12/09/2022 01:32
I'm sorry you're having such a crap time and so many worries all at once. I'd speak to your counsellor, some will offer a reduced rate if you're struggling to afford it. Is there any way for you to leave your relationship without the better job? Sometimes something can bring us down so much it starts to hold us back from better opportunities because it affects our confidence so much? Could you move in with a friend or relative for a short period until your back on your feet? I think you sound awesome for how much you're persevering and trying to make good things happen for yourself when you're feeling so low. That takes a lot of strength
user1473878824 · 12/09/2022 01:47
Have a chat to your therapist, they may be able to reduce the cost of sessions.
legsarerequiredforjumpingdancing · 12/09/2022 04:10
populartree · 12/09/2022 00:39
I thought Women’s Aid was aimed at women who have experienced domestic abuse?
It is
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