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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How far is too far? AIBU

63 replies

Strawberryrainbow · 11/09/2022 21:02

Was looking for your opinion on how far is too far?

Am looking at secondary schools for my child and there is a fantastic one that would suit perfectly - only catch it's a 2 mile walk. There isn't a bus route that doesn't go direct and would have to go out village to come back in again so doesn't make sense!

AIBU - Is this too far? Am I being unrealistic in expecting my year 7 to walk that far to/from school each day?

How far does your child look walk to get to school?

Thank you SmileSmile

OP posts:
bloodywhitecat · 11/09/2022 21:03

That's about a 40 minute walk (or less if you cycle), perfectly doable for an average Y7 upwards.

vipersnest1 · 11/09/2022 21:04

Considering that the average person walks at around three miles an hour, that's a 40 minute walk.
You need to ask yourself is that reasonable for your child, especially in bad weather.
Is there a bus they could take?

DailyMailHater · 11/09/2022 21:05

I couldn’t picture the distance it in my head (tired lack of sleep) so did some checking in Google maps….my walk to secondary was 2.5miles (downhill there, uphill home) and I never felt it was too much, my DS does just under 2miles each way and has done since year 7 and has never mentioned the distance being too far….

musicmum75 · 11/09/2022 21:06

We live 1.8 miles from our secondary. It's no problem at all and loads of kids walk that distance.

girlmom21 · 11/09/2022 21:06

A 2 mile walk is perfectly reasonable. I did it 10 years ago. When you're a teen it flies by

VladmirsPoutine · 11/09/2022 21:07

Hmm a 40minute walk with no direct routes sounds far to me as a daily routine back and forth. But you know your kid best.

qpmz · 11/09/2022 21:07

Great for exercise and fresh air! Are there any options for really bad weather such as lift shares/taxi or you pick him up? A bit of rain is fine, I'm talking blizzards!

DialsMavis · 11/09/2022 21:08

DD has just started secondary school about that far away,maybe a smidge less and it is fine. If the car is here we will probably drop her in really foul weather, but DH is usually away 2-3 days mid week, so its not a given.

HappyKoala56 · 11/09/2022 21:08

Is cycling an option?

Pava22 · 11/09/2022 21:09

I used to get a bus to the train station. Then a train and then another 20 minute walk on top and the same home. Or I would walk half 40 minutes to the tran station. Get the train for 20 minutes then a 20 minute walk to school from the train

CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 11/09/2022 21:12

I think the distance is fine, but those days when they have p.e kit and home ec ingredients as well as books to carry it could be tough. For my year 7 it would be fine some of the time but then he has kit for after school clubs on top of equipment for sports etc, musical instruments. Then it would be epic.

Did I read the op right that there is a bus but it has a convoluted route? If for for that on days like above if so.

2pinkginsplease · 11/09/2022 21:35

I personally wouldn’t want my teen walking a 40 minute walk home, especially in the winter. Some days dd would have an art folio aswell as school bag and pe kit. I

high school is 12minute walk from our home, my high school was a 6 Mile bus journey but as it was our catchment school a bus was provided direct from our village to the school. It did mean we couldn’t do after school activities .

underneaththeash · 11/09/2022 21:35

Could you drop her off?

OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 11/09/2022 21:38

2 miles safe walk is fine. Mine do 1 mile to the bus stop, bus then another mile from bus stop the school and the reverse on the way home.

Rowen32 · 11/09/2022 21:40

I think that's much too far for the weight of school bags alone but also time is so precious at that age - that time spent walking about be used for getting homework/study done and leaving your child free to have free time which is so rare as the exam years come :-(

Dragmedown · 11/09/2022 21:46

Can she cycle or contact the school and ask if they think a lift share would be likely?

Nospringchix · 11/09/2022 21:47

Rowen32 · 11/09/2022 21:40

I think that's much too far for the weight of school bags alone but also time is so precious at that age - that time spent walking about be used for getting homework/study done and leaving your child free to have free time which is so rare as the exam years come :-(

I agree.

Original poster
Strawberryrainbow · 11/09/2022 21:51

Thanks for your answers/suggestions so far

I'm so torn. I could definitely drop off in the morning, but I wouldn't be able to do pick up.

OP posts:
TheTurn0fTheScrew · 11/09/2022 21:54

I walk two miles to work at least half the time. Takes me 27mins there when I'm full of energy and it's downhill, probably 35-40 on the way back. It is definitely harder with heavy bags - I have a backpack and a second bag with laptop and other equipment - but honestly it's pleasant most of the time.

Difference for me is that I can drive if the weather is shocking. If you can drop in the morning though then getting wet on the way home is no biggie.

demokitty · 11/09/2022 22:05

Depends on the child.

I just looked at google maps for my childhood secondary, it would have been a 49 minute walk and I never did it! I was either driven the majority of the way (which was a 20-25 min drive and a 5 min walk as it was too busy near school), or got the bus (5 minute walk to stop, 13 mins ish on bus, 16 min walk to school).

Though my bag was always heavy and it was really uncool to wear your bag over both shoulders. So one of my shoulders always ached, especially on PE day!

I did walk to primary school though, but that was just over 15 mins.

Things to consider, will your child have heavy/awkward stuff to carry? Eg, hockey stick, guitar, food tech ingredients on the same day they need football boots for PE! Plus heavy water bottle (all the kids seem to have those metal ones) and will they be taking a packed lunch.

Also bear in mind, they might make a best friend 2 miles in the opposite direction! Not necessarily a big deal. It wasn't too much for me as school was near the main town so we all met there. But sometimes I went to a friends house and needed collecting.

OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 11/09/2022 22:10

Just to add, since my poor children are clearly deprived of free time and subject to brutal conditions, they were given the option this year of a school bus service that would pick up and drop off outside our front door but they both elected to keep doing the walk. Time might be precious but 2 miles isn't long! Plus at least they get to walk and move after a day spent at a desk. Mine still find the time for extracurricular activities pretty much every night too.

Lcb123 · 11/09/2022 22:12

I used to walk 2 miles to secondary school: can they cycle as that would be quicker?

ChippingLeCrue · 11/09/2022 22:14

I think the main issue for me with that walk would be any after school clubs and winter with it getting darker earlier and what time she would be walking home. Mainly what route she would take home, how well lit it is and how confident she would feel doing it.

Are there any friends she could potentially walk with who may also attend the same school? Both my sons walked 20 minutes but had waterproof coats and waterproof bag covers for their rucksacks and umbrellas and were happy to use them. I did however run them and drop them off if it was pouring with rain.

Craftybodger · 11/09/2022 22:17

It really depends on the route. Pavements, busy roads, others from school likely to be doing the same? It would also depend on the resilience and fitness of the child and the amount of clobber they take.

Tomorrow my Y8 has a full and heavy school backpack, a bulky and full PE kit and another bag of dance kit - that is a lot to carry! She could easily do the walk but not so sure when she has all that to carry too.

SproutsAtChristmas · 11/09/2022 22:21

My school was about 1.5 miles away and I hated the walk (all uphill on the way) in the rain or on days where more equipment was needed i.e. PE kit or a homework project. It's 5 years of that walk, I'm assuming in British weather, that DC will have to do.

Also, will DC's new friends live nearer the school or do many in your area attend there? Nothing worse than all your friends being a 40-60 minute walk away from your house too at that age. I had this issue as I lived on one side of the school and many of my friends were the other side so I had to add more walking time just to get to theirs or meet them. I was a sporty kid so it wasn't a fitness and walking thing but more of the inconvenience of it all.

Could you test the walk out together before applying? Could DC ride a bike there instead to reduce the travel time?

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