Trivial I know, but this has really upset me. Got home from work today to find DH (in charge of two young kids) 2 meters up an A frame ladder wielding hedge cutter. He was standing one leg either side on second from top rung, with both hands on hedge trimmer. The ladder wasn’t on flat ground, whole garden is in a slope and very bumpy after the drought, and he was massively overreaching because the leylandii hedge is about 4 meters tall.
I asked him to stop because it’s not safe and he refused. I said I’d go buy a long reach trimmer tomorrow and he refused saying we can’t afford one (we are stretched and not affluent but yes we can afford one) and I pointed out it’s cheaper than loosing his job if he falls of and seriously injures himself.
What followed was about 90 minutes of me begging him to stop, begging him to listen to me, and him getting grumpy that I was nagging him, then going back up the ladder as soon as I turned my back.
Eventually I got so fed up I pressed the circuit breaker and unplugged him. I’ve had years of safe ladder training drilled into me at work, and I get weekly emails with yet another death at work from fall from height (admin in building industry). I personally know friends of our family who’ve died falling off ladders whilst cutting trees.
He’s said I was totally out of order in the way I spoke to him (I stayed very calm and rational throughout). I’m now 3 hours into silent treatment. He refused to eat dinner with us.
Was I being unreasonable? I feel it’s massively unfair for him to risk his own life at the best of times but especially in front of the kids.
YABU - should have left him to it
YAMBU - he was being dangerous
AIBU?
About DH and ladder
Getofftheladder · 11/09/2022 20:05
Am I being unreasonable?
132 votes. Final results.
POLLgirlmom21 · 11/09/2022 20:09
YABU. He's an adult. He can risk assess his own activities and you're massively undermining him.
girlmom21 · 11/09/2022 20:22
And if he dies in a car crash tomorrow it massively affects you and your children.
And if he doesn't, happy days.
Coulddowithanap · 11/09/2022 21:11
Did you offer to foot the ladder for him?
billy1966 · 11/09/2022 21:24
Whatva moron.
Completely reckless.
Large garden here and at times years ago my husband might do jobs like that before I organised someone to do it all.
I would have always held the end of ladder with my foot and if was solid and level.
Some years ago the brother of his colleague fell whilst putting Christmas lights up, utter devastation for his entire family when he died.
These accidents happen and families are left broken after them.
He needs to cop himself on.
You were correct in your action and I would be SO pissed off that he doesn't get it and behaves in such a reckless manner.
Chdjdn · 11/09/2022 20:57
The bit that stands out to me here is that if DH really didn’t want me doing something because he was worried about safety then I’d go along with it based on it meaning a lot to him even if o didn’t agree and vice versa. We’ve had situations like that where one thinks the other is over reacting but we respect that wr don’t want to worry the other person to that extent
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