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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm having a breakdown!

10 replies

Bluemoon22 · 11/09/2022 16:47

Its been a week since i had to flee our home with my child due to partners domestic abuse which he has been arrested and bailed back to our house for. Since then we have been at my mums which is cramped and no room for us. I'm waiting for the council to find us somewhere to live but i feel like i can't cope living like this anymore. The stress is getting too much, why is it fair for us victims to have to live like this while he lives life of riley in the house

OP posts:
bluejelly · 11/09/2022 16:49

So sorry to hear Flowers. It will get better, and you did the right thing by leaving.
Have you spoken to Women's Aid or Refuge? They may be able to support you...

Original poster
Bluemoon22 · 11/09/2022 17:01

Womens aid just gave me numbers for local support charities. Not spoke to refuge

OP posts:
bluejelly · 11/09/2022 17:15

Might be worth trying Refuge. Also Shelter and any local support charities that look useful.
Have you had any counselling to help you process what you have been through?
Really well done for getting away, that can't have been easy

Babyroobs · 11/09/2022 17:18

Do you own the house or is it rented?

Original poster
Bluemoon22 · 11/09/2022 17:36

I will have a look thank you. Not had any counselling yet but i have an IDVA and ISVA worker. The house is mortgaged in his name only

OP posts:
Goldfishjones · 11/09/2022 17:38

Who's name name is the house in? If it's your name and you still have a key, get locks changed whilst he's out (at work?) and move back in. Legally no issue with this tho I can understand that practically and emotionally it is not necessarily an option you'd want to take.

Goldfishjones · 11/09/2022 17:39

Ah cross post sorry. Difficult situation IP, I'm sorry to hear this. Well done for getting out tho, life WILL be better in the long term.

MumEE22 · 11/09/2022 17:42

Please help!

I have two children who are adopted, they’re both under 5. However I absolutely dislike being a mum. I mean, most days I really don’t want to be a mum, they fight, they scream, I constantly feel like I’m saying no you can’t do that or no you don’t do that, stop hitting etc and I just don’t see why anyone would want to be a mum?

does it actually get to a point where it’s good being parents? Whereby you actually enjoy your children??

Rtmhwales · 11/09/2022 18:40

It's not fair, no. But if you're not married and the house is mortgaged in his name then legally I'm not sure anything else can be done.

ohnoohnoo · 11/09/2022 18:41

MumEE22 · 11/09/2022 17:42

Please help!

I have two children who are adopted, they’re both under 5. However I absolutely dislike being a mum. I mean, most days I really don’t want to be a mum, they fight, they scream, I constantly feel like I’m saying no you can’t do that or no you don’t do that, stop hitting etc and I just don’t see why anyone would want to be a mum?

does it actually get to a point where it’s good being parents? Whereby you actually enjoy your children??

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