To lower how much money I spend on my kids at Christmas this year?

[Jaaxe]

Will they notice if they don’t get as many presents this year? How much does everyone spend on their children at christmas? I always overspend and end up getting them things I wish I hadn’t or didn’t need so I want to set a limit and only get them a few really nice presents but they don’t understand money and I don’t want them to think Santa thought they wernt as good this year because they didn’t get as much as last year…they will be 9, 5 and 3 at Christmas time, they are each getting a bike as their main present as they all need a new one (that will be at least £100-150 each, slightly more for the 9 year old slightly less for the 3 year old) so majority of the budget will be going on those but working out what is a reasonable amount to budget to spend on other presents etc.

We have never had all gifts come from Father Christmas, he just brings 1 gift, the rest are from us and family members. I think it’s important for children to know and acknowledge who the gifts are from and thank the person appropriately (so always written thanks to gifts from older generation).

The amount spent has always been a challenging issue between DH and I. My family were of modest means and we didn’t receive piles of gifts; we got something we wanted, something we needed and something to read. But I loved Christmas and never felt I missed out, there was a lot of emphasis on special family time together, baking biscuits, playing board games, and free things like going to see the Christmas lights in the nearest city.

DH family were, and still are, all about the piles of gifts. But he has few memories of spending quality time with his parents. Which is of great sadness now that FIL has passed away.

This year, why not take the opportunity to reset your Christmas and build new traditions. Christmas is not worth getting into debt for. Too often money is spent on fripperies that are forgotten.

We no longer buy any gifts for adult family other than our mothers (we have both lost our fathers).

DH, DC and I do a stocking for each other (names out of the hat, for who gets whom), we have a budget of £12.50 and we get very creative! Last year in my stocking was a compact mirror that my son spotted in a charity shop, I absolutely treasure it.

Get creative, Christmas doesn’t need to be stressful or break the bank.

They'll notice, but likely won't be bothered because of the lovely things they are getting. And if you remain positive, it will rub off on them.

We are doing stockings (little toys, socks, chocolate, book, etc.) and one bigger present each from Santa (marble run, train set, etc.), and then clothes and one shared present between the two from DH and I. We have also told the family that we are very much tightening our budgets for adults, so very pared back this year. I think MIL and FIL were relieved that we brought it up rather than them, to be honest.

The 9yo will be old enough to understand that money is tight and the 3yo will be to young to notice or remember last year. The 5yo could be more problematic, I'd probably save by buying second hand but try to get close to the same amount, they won't care if it came in a box or not.

Adult DH really values the number of presents we each get. It makes no sense to me. One year he bought me an iPhone (much appreciated and loved) but then he bought a whole heap of other stuff none of which I wanted.

Maybe mention to your eldest that as people grow up, they tend to get fewer, more expensive presents. If you get what she wants, and feels grown up too, will she really miss a heap of fat ?

Tat. I meant tat.

Come to the Christmas boards. The bargain threads are great.

Make sure the bikes are nice. If 9yo asks why less presents than before, you can point out that she got a really nice new bike which was her big present, whereas other years she got lots of smaller things. Could also get some bike accessories for them - like reflectors, spoke beads etc.

Also, maybe get another gift that is something like a family outing - don't have to pay the cost upfront, but can make nice individual "tickets" to an activity day they would enjoy but which doesn't have to be really expensive.

I'm surprised that you haven't had any discussions with your 9yo who is well old enough to understand if you need to cut back. We are fortunate that we can spend whatever we want on my dc but we don't. I do think children should learn the value of something not the price of it. You're getting them expensive bikes so shouldn't that and something else that's small be enough? The fact that you are concerned about the pile of gifts being smaller, shows that quantity over quality means more to you and that's what your kids will expect.

Isn't one major gift like a new bike sufficient?

We are making a real effort to be sustainable. This year DS will be getting a main present, art stuff, PJs, Xmas day outfit and a few small collectibles he's asked for. This is in comparison to the electric scooter and hoverboards he's had as surprises in the past.

We save every month towards Xmas so tempted to use the money to book a weekend at theme park and give him the tickets.

Never had or did a "main present". It was just the present. One present from parents. Plus stockings from Farher Christmas was are really just bits; chocolate coins, sticker books, bubbles. Nothing expensive.

They also gets presents from other members of the family so are still overwhelmed with stuff even with us only getting them one present.

Personally I'd get the 3 year old a Marketplace bike (mine cost £10 for my preschooler) and spend the money elsewhere or just save it.

I'd think about writing a list got each child of what they consistently want and need. Then buy based on that. No impulses. No cheap stuff for the sake of it (that adds up to a decent gift anyway). Just a few well thought out gifts each (secondhand where possible/appropriate).

Just an aside, OP- we have a retired chap in our area, takes in unwanted bikes from peoples garages, does them up (new brakes, tyres, checks etc) polishes them so they look tidy and sells them with all proceeds to the MS Society. Kids bikes are from £30-£50

Perhaps get looking on local Facebook noticeboards for someone like this in your area? You may not have anyone but it may be worth a look.

This year, perhaps there should be some publicity around the fact that Santa's fuel bills have gone up massively, and so he may not be able to manage as many presents per child.

I am keeping it low key, focus on quality time and simple activities. I think a bike plus say 3-4 other things to open is enough. But then my DC has lots of aunts and uncles so get presents from wider family. I've seen them get overwhelmed with too much. I said last year definitely less next year and.plan to stick to it

No as I said up thread, quality over quantity means more to me but I’m not sure the same applies to my children. They’ve always just had a mix of good quality gifts and things I’ve added in that I know they’ll love that are cheap but I hate….and it’s just to make it as magical for them as possible but I’m fed up of the tat and I’m trying to cut costs a little this year which for me means getting rid of the tat first.

And I have had a discussions with my 9 year old in the past about costs of things etc…for example on her birthday she knew she would only be getting one gift as she wanted an iPad and I explained the cost of this and she understood and was more than happy with this and perfectly made up on her birthday….However Christmas has always been a little different than birthdays in our house…they get the stockings of tat then their main present and a few good quality gifts but I’ve found they end up with a lot of presents…just trying to cut back really without them wondering why they didn’t get this or that like last year from Santa etc

"but as my eldest was always used to getting tonnes (as she was the only child for a good few years) I’ve not wanted to disappoint or her wonder why she gets less now there is 3 of them"

Seems like now is the perfect time to teach your 9yr old the very valuable lesson of quality over quantity! She's old enough to appreciate that one big present equals the same as several smaller presents.

This is exactly what I thought last year and am thinking this year. Thanks

I think everyone will be making cutbacks and curving frivolous spending.

I definitely intend on cutting back.

@ForestofD thanks I will have a look around

Just go low key and drive home the point that the main gift is an expensive one so there will be 1/2 other smaller ones. My ds is 6yo and completely understands this already. For his birthday we got him one gift and took him on a day out which he absolutely loved and still talks about. He turned 6 just before the summer holidays and got an obscene amount from his class party- very expensive gifts as well. The first thing he said was we don't need to buy him Christmas gifts. Children have expectations because we set them.Your 3yo has no concept about what's alot of presents - that comes from you. Your 9yo is well old enough to understand, and your 5yo will probably take the lead from the others.

Spend what you can afford and nothing more. No one should be getting into financial trouble for Christmas. A happy household free of debt is more important than crappy presents.

Absolutely

When my sister was young, she believed in Santa for relatively long time and she has always been very considerate, so she suggested to our parents that she doesn't want/need stuff "now", she can just select them or try the cloths on and than write to Santa, so they wouldn't have to spend money on her :)))

I think you can tell the oldest the truth, less money available, so she will get one bigger thing of your choice, one bigger of her choice and some smaller stuff around.
With the younger ones I'd aim for the same, let them indicate several things for Santa to choose from and hope that one of them will be reasonable.

I think you can be honest with them about money and how it’s earned and spent. Important they understand that. I think £50 per child is plenty - why not get 2nd hand bikes and talk to them about how buying 2nd hand is good for the environment