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AIBU?

To sell my old engagement and wedding rings (and pay for therapy with the money)?

26 replies

RugbyUnionOrLeague · 11/09/2022 10:28

ExH and I divorced 6 years ago. We have 3 children together, all boys.

I am struggling with the cost of living crisis and also with life in general. I started some therapy a couple of years ago but then covid happened and I had to stop during lockdowns.

I want to restart but don't now earn enough to pay for it and cover all the bills.

AIBU to sell my rings to pay for the therapy? I think that if I sold them I would be able to pay for fortnightly therapy for about 10 months, so a really good chunk of time to help me sort myself out. I feel guilty doing it, but it would really help!

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Am I being unreasonable?

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BathTangle · 11/09/2022 10:34

Why would you feel guilty? I think it's a really sensible option and so much better for you in the long run. Yes it's nice to have jewellery, but (unless you own something like the Crown Jewels!) it's only bits of metal and the value they hold may be better used elsewhere.

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SockQueen · 11/09/2022 10:38

Not U at all, but be aware that, in general, second hand values of jewellery are MUCH lower than initial purchase prices. So if you're basing your calculations on what those rings cost to buy first time round, I fear you may be disappointed.

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Anonmousse · 11/09/2022 10:39

I'm a jeweller and unless are either extremely chunky and heavy design, or a high quality diamond, I think you might be disappointed with the amount you might get for them.

If you have an insurance valuation that you are basing your figures on, that is the cost for replacing them new like for like, but if you sold them you would likely only get scrap value for the gold/platinum plus a small amount extra for diamonds/coloured stones

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Keyansier · 11/09/2022 10:39

Huh? Why would you feel guilty (unless your ex was pressuring you to give the ring back and even then - so what)?

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GhostFromTheOtherSide · 11/09/2022 10:42

You would be very unlikely to make a decent amount of money selling your rings. Scrap value at best unless they’re antiques or similar.

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LilacPoppy · 11/09/2022 10:42

10 months of therapy I doubt they would pay for that much.

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nachoavocado · 11/09/2022 10:43

You probably won't make as much as you think tbh

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GhostFromTheOtherSide · 11/09/2022 10:44

As a benchmark, I had a diamond tennis bracelet which cost £750. When I divorced I took it, and some other jewellery to be valued, they offered me £75 scrap value for the bracelet, and approx £300 for around £3k worth of other jewellery.

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HollyBollyBooBoo · 11/09/2022 10:44

I sold mine, seemed ridiculous for them to sit in a drawer for the rest of my life.

As others have said you won't get a huge amount for them compared to retail price but I was happy with what I got.

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ErrolTheDragon · 11/09/2022 10:47

They're yours to do with as you wish, and whether the amount they raise would buy much therapy or not, getting rid of these symbolic links to (I assume) an unhappy phase of your life sounds like a very good idea anyway to me.

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RugbyUnionOrLeague · 11/09/2022 10:50

I went into a jeweller about 6 months ago and asked what I would get for them if they were to buy them off me so unless things have changed a lot in 6 months it was based on the price I was given before. Fingers crossed it’s not devalued that much!

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ErrolTheDragon · 11/09/2022 14:24

That's good- go for it! Let those rings help you forward, rather than chaining you to the past.

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RugbyUnionOrLeague · 11/09/2022 17:57

ErrolTheDragon · 11/09/2022 14:24

That's good- go for it! Let those rings help you forward, rather than chaining you to the past.

Lovely way of looking at it, thank you.

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curvymumma79 · 11/09/2022 18:05

I sold my engagement ring, wedding ring and wedding dress from my first marriage, so that I could buy a laptop for online dating where I met my 2nd husband.

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RugbyUnionOrLeague · 11/09/2022 18:17

curvymumma79 · 11/09/2022 18:05

I sold my engagement ring, wedding ring and wedding dress from my first marriage, so that I could buy a laptop for online dating where I met my 2nd husband.

Perfect!!

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MzHz · 11/09/2022 18:20

Every time my ex was abusive, he’d buy me jewellery

I had shit loads of the stuff when I got rid of him so sold it and it paid for loads of therapy

go for it! It’s so worthwhile having someone to talk through and resolve issues with

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MzHz · 11/09/2022 18:21

RugbyUnionOrLeague · 11/09/2022 10:50

I went into a jeweller about 6 months ago and asked what I would get for them if they were to buy them off me so unless things have changed a lot in 6 months it was based on the price I was given before. Fingers crossed it’s not devalued that much!

Gold has gone up but the pound vs dollar has gone down.

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SudocremOnEverything · 11/09/2022 18:34

I actually binned mine.

They were worth less than £400 combined so it was throwing away money - but not so much that the symbolic gesture of binning them wasn’t worth it. It felt very much like a clear statement of what they were worth to me and I don’t regret having thrown them away.

He was absolutely livid about it. Still is. Which probably is worth £400. He simply cannot see that they no longer represent anything positive to me at all. It was a very short marriage in which I discovered that he really is only good at grand gestures but has no follow through. So getting rid of a grand gesture was important to me.

Using the proceeds from yours towards some therapy to try to undo the damage of being with him sounds like a great plan.

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RugbyUnionOrLeague · 14/09/2022 14:11

Thank you all. I took them in today and received £800 which I was really happy with. That’s therapy paid for for a while :)

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ClottedCreamAndStrawberries · 14/09/2022 14:15

I got £23 for my wedding and engagement ring from my 1st marriage. Cost £650 total when new 😆 It was worth it just to have them out of the house. Got far nicer pieces now from DH 💕

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BuffaloCauliflower · 14/09/2022 14:21

Great news OP, hope the therapy goes well 🙂

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SudocremOnEverything · 14/09/2022 15:33

Oh. That’s great!

I hope the therapy is really useful.

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Marvellousmadness · 14/09/2022 15:40

What does the gender of your kids have to do with it ?sell the rings of course. No one will care.

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entropynow · 14/09/2022 15:41

RugbyUnionOrLeague · 11/09/2022 18:17

Perfect!!

Well if perfection is just getting another bloke, maybe🙄

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Lincslady53 · 14/09/2022 16:21

In our main town, there are loads of empty shops but very few jewellers have closed. I wonder why?

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