To ask what you think when women use the word ‘darling’?

[Castleofdreams]

Like calling other people, both women and men, darling as a term of endearment or just in normal conversation like "darling can you pass me the.."

Context and tone is everything. My dear godmother uses it in a lovely way, is a great listener, it is an indicator that you will be listened to and given a gracious and thoughtful response. Other people, not so much! I hope the times I use it I can manage to convey what she does.

fine if its a northerner saying it.
Sounds condescending when coming from a southerner though.

Oh I don't know I think it really depends on the person

My teen DS calls everyone darling!!

oops , I am a secondary school teacher and use it a lot . “ Tom , darling , would you shut the door please? Becky , my darling , would you please give out the books ?”. Nobody has ever complained- maybe because I am ancient.

I used to use lots of endearments-think it was quite a Welsh thing. One of my early teaching jobs I had a feedback box for the kids. We'd read them on a Friday afternoon. Pulled out a note 'I don't like it when you call us sweetheart and darling'. Pulled out the next note 'I really like the way you call use sweetheart and darling'!

I would say it's a more middle-class term of endearment (than love or babe for example), but using it doesn't make you/make you appear middle-class if you are not.

I think accent has a lot to do with it. 'Darling' in received pronunciation sounds more middle-class than 'darling' in some regional accents.

It's inappropriate to say it to a stranger. It's intimate and reserved for my DH. I don't want terms of endearmemt from random people I don't know. Any strange man who calls me darling or "my love" will usually be told to piss off, and women should know better. Agree it's a northern thing - as a Londoner it pisses me right of as you're trying to create intimacy with someone who doesn't want it.

Just because nobody has complained, doesn't mean nobody is bothered by it.

Reminds me of Alexis Colby from Dynasty :)

One of the shop assistants in our corner shop does this. I cringe every time. She must be half my age and I just think it is odd.

I don't mind it, I doubt I'd notice tbh unless it's being said in a negative tone (eg condescending, patronising...), it's just another version of sweetie, love, etc.

I call my children darling.

I’ve noticed I sometimes call friend’s children darling too. It just pops out, I don’t make a conscious decision. Hopefully they don’t mind, and take it as an (almost unconscious) indicator of the affection I have for them.

I don’t think I have ever used for another adult.

Definitely wouldn't say it's middle class, when I lived in South London everyone said it (without the g!).

Oh FFS, why would anybody be offended and complain about that? It shows warmth from the teacher. FFS.

It just comes naturally to some people.

Context is everything and not over using it. The midwife I had for the last leg of DS1's birth overused it and I just wanted to smack her face off her face.

I call my children "darling" sometimes but it's rare. I usually use "my love". I call most people younger than me "my love". So my children, other peoples children and young adults that I work with. I also call my husband "my love" sometimes, though generally I just use his name.

I don't really have any opinion of anyone who says "darling". I think I probably would be a bit 🙄 at someone using it to try and sound posh. But I don't think I've ever met someone like that.

I’ve never heard a male say it actually, I don’t mean that in a rude way and of course your ds can say it if he wants but I’ve just never heard it from a male that’s all

I think they are over 60 and either posh with a rambling country estate and gun dogs, or they wear heavy eyeliner and work in a pub.

It always sounds a bit weird where I'm from. 'Darling' said in a Belfast accent never sounds right, whether the person is 'posh' or otherwise!! Generally speaking though, it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

If it’s said by someone middle class I tend to think pretentious who can’t be bothered to remember my name.

Doesn’t bother me at all. I’m from a part of the world where “love” is used all the time (my non-British DH was bemused by it when he first experienced this!) so I don’t see darling/dear/pet/duck etc as much different. An acquaintance from the midlands called me duck the other day and I loved it.

Believe me , the majority of 11 - 18 year olds will tell you if you offend them in any way . I am from the NorthEast and a term of affection pops in naturally. It was how all my family spoke when I was a kid .

I'm assuming all the people saying it sounds posh and patronising when said by a southerner are doing that common mn thing of using south to mean London and the Home Counties. It's very commonly used in the West Country (which everyone seems to forget about unless they're looking for a holiday), and and doesn't sound remotely posh or patronising. Certainly not in my broad accent!