Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to need more than a day and a half to answer birthday invite???

23 replies

hotcrossbunny · 23/01/2008 13:14

On Monday dd 4.5 brought home a birthday party invitation from one of the boys in her class. I've hardly had a chance to look at it, never mind decide whether she can go. Anyway have just had a phonecall from his mum asking for an answerNot even 2 days to talk about it.

Oh well, I said no because dd hasn't said good things about her son, he's disruptive, not gentle etc, but I'd have liked a chance to think about it properly. Will all the other children in her class go and dd be left out?

OP posts:
madamez · 23/01/2008 13:17

It's possible that your DD had the invite in her bag for a few days, you know - the mother may not be that officious after all. But if your DD doesn;t like the child and doesn;t want to go, nothing will be gained by forcing her to follow the herd - this idea that if you don;t do things that you don#t fancy, the herd will exclude you is actually a very toxic one.

posieflump · 23/01/2008 13:17

Was it given on Monday or was that just the day that dd decided to bring it home?

alicet · 23/01/2008 13:18

When is the party? I think it depends on that - if it's this weekend and she needs definite numbers then sorry but YA probably B a bit U. It would mean she is a bit disorganised but hey thats life. However if it is 2 weeks or more away then she is being a bit over organised in my view!

However, it doesn't exactly take that long to look at a party invite and see if you're free does it?!?!

tiredemma · 23/01/2008 13:19

If you dont want your DD to go because he is disruptive, then what does it matter if other children are going?

Oliveoil · 23/01/2008 13:24

I try and give an answer the next day if I can

also, I wouldn't label a 4 year old tbh, some people take longer than others to settle into school so he may be a lovely little boy

(dd1 said one boy was 'naughty' in her class and it turns out he has SN)

noonar · 23/01/2008 13:24

agree with the others. i does sound as if she's being a bit pushy, though, if it was really only given on monday.

when is the party?

winegumss · 23/01/2008 13:28

that is rather swift i would say, but then if the party is this weekend they need to plan - because they havent planned earlier! My ds1 received a birthday party invite for the end of APRIL, that is over doing it!!!

Hulababy · 23/01/2008 13:29

Seems very short notice for needing replies. I always try and hand out invites well in advance and ask for replies about a week or so before party will be.

To be honest though I try and give a reply next day simply as if I leave it longer I forget! It is very unusual for DD not to be able to make a party when I have some advance notice; we just move things around if we can as she adores going to her friend's parties.

Iota · 23/01/2008 13:32

I sometimes can't give an answer for definite until nearer the time, usually the week before, as I need to sort out various family commitments and my dh is often away at weekends.

DontCallMeHun · 23/01/2008 13:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArcticRoll · 23/01/2008 13:35

She may just need to get an idea of the numbers(especially if it's at a venue).

bundle · 23/01/2008 13:44

what's there to think about?

dramaqueen · 23/01/2008 13:52

look at calendar - she can either go or not go. Tell other Mum. Simple. You are over complicating it.

Original poster
hotcrossbunny · 23/01/2008 13:58

Invitation was given out by teacher into dds hand on Monday pm, party isn't for another 4 weeks. I gave it a brief look, but had a feeling we were seeing my sister that weekend (she lives 300 miles away) but needed to check with her. Also I wanted to check a couple of dds friends were also going (class of only 6 girls and 20 boys) so that she wouldn't be left on her own there. Had decided we would reply by the end of the week.

I did of course ask dd if she wanted to go. Her answer was if S and G were going then she wanted to, but if they weren't then she wouldn't because birthday boy is a bit rough and she wouldn't have any friends to play her sort of games with.

OP posts:
TheGiftedandTalentedGoat · 23/01/2008 13:59

i think it is abit crazy to phone up demanding an answer.

Original poster
hotcrossbunny · 23/01/2008 14:01

I can see other mums are WAY more organised than me though Will try to get my act together earlier next time....

OP posts:
bozza · 23/01/2008 14:08

You could have simply said you needed to check that you were free that weekend and would get back to her by the end of the week. I wonder if it has been handed out quite early because half term is early. DS's party is on 23 Feb and I am wondering if I ought to get invitations out soon, so I can get replies before half term which is only just over a fortnight away.

bundle · 23/01/2008 14:10

"asking" for an answer, not demanding

Original poster
hotcrossbunny · 23/01/2008 14:15

Tbh it did feel like an answer was being demanded. I felt obliged to say we couldn't make it because I hadn't managed to track down my sister yet....

OP posts:
Hulababy · 23/01/2008 14:18

If I'd receieved that phone call and it is still 4 weeks to the party I would simply say that I needed to check a couple of things first and would reply to her by the end of the week.

Original poster
hotcrossbunny · 23/01/2008 14:26

I wish I had said that Hulababy, but I sort of felt wrong footed and that an answer was needed now. Don't know why though. Oh well, another lesson learnt....

OP posts:
bozza · 23/01/2008 14:35

I think it is this being "wrongfooted" that is the real problem. i would try and bear in mind for next time so you can have a stock answer that gives you breathing space. PIL used to do this to DH and he would agree to arrangements that we were not happy with. But now he always says that he will "check with bozza".

Original poster
hotcrossbunny · 23/01/2008 14:42

I think you're right bozza. I've never been very great at thinking on my feet and do tend to get pressganged into things because I haven't got a plausible (to me) excuse not to do it. Obviously this mum would be a great addition to the PTA

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread