Couples Counselling

[onthebusagain]

DP & I are looking to start couples Counselling. There are so many counsellors out there that we have found online with various training qualifications and costs.
We've seen one who says on her profile she's been working with couples for over 10 years and looks like she is professionally trained to work with couples. She charges £85 per hour and only works online. Does this seem expensive? We've never looked for a couples counsellor before so wasn't sure of a reasonable rate.

I've seen others online who charge £50-£75 per session so this would be cheaper for us. Some of these have put they've had couples training and others don't have that on their website but I imagine they are trained to work with couples.
Have you had experience of couples therapy and what would you advise?

Not couples but I’ve had online therapy and it really didn’t work for me. There are so many subtle
body language cues in the way people communicate- my personal belief is that therapy usually can’t really be effective online…

Face to face is so much better, especially if there are three of you

See if you can find someone who is registered with CORST. It's the body that psychosexual and relationship therapists are registered with.

I guess it will differ by area but I would never pay 85 for online sessions for any type of counselling.

@nothernexposure
She doesn't have that on her website but she does have qualifications in couples counselling and she's done other courses such as working with sex, affairs etc. she looks quite experienced from her training qualifications.

@Teenyliving
Yes, I wasn't sure as I've never had it face to face or online so it's good to know of others experiences.

@Sunnyqueen
Would you pay that for face to face sessions? When I was looking online, some people were charging £130 per session!

I would be looking for someone who is accredited by the BACP or NCS. Not just registered with them. Couples therapy training is a must also. What’s their qualifications?
The price sounds at the higher end but not unreasonable. But I echo what others said and think face to face therapy is so much better. I’m a trainee therapist btw.

Relate?

@YoniWheretheSunDontShine
I haven't looked at relate but I can do. Thank you.

@Question10
Thank you. She has on her website BACP & UKCP. But not NCS.
It says she is a qualified couples therapist. She has a list of qualifications for couples such as a certificate in couples counselling and then a list of other courses for couples around Sex, affairs etc.

@onthebusagain they are the two main governing bodies so that’s a good sign. Does it say “registered” with them or “accredited”?
Sounds like she has a good collection of qualifications

@onthebusagain the cert in couples counselling is a good sign! It’s not just a small cpd course

@Question10
That's good to know. Maybe that is why she is charging that price? It says 'registered accredited'.

@Question10
Sorry, I mean 'accredited register'.

Great, well she sounds completely above board! Accreditation means jumping through extra hoops as therapists to be accredited by the governing bodies. £85 for couples therapy sounds about right for someone like this. Many therapists have now moved to online work which does work for some. I’m a bit of a purist though and prefer being in the room with someone. I guess you could try it and see how you get on? It can sometimes take a few tries to find a therapist that works for you.

@Question10
That sounds good then. Thank you for the advice. It might be worth trying and seeing what it's like. I just wasn't sure as some people were charging £50-£70. But from what you've said, it sounds like she's quite experienced.

Definitely go for someone who is on BACP, not just a member but fully qualified, but ideally best to go to an organisation like Relate

@Welshgal85
Why do you recommend relate? Have you used them before? Yes the one I've been looking at and considering is fully qualified. But she doesn't work for relate from what I can see.

@onthebusagain prices vary quite a bit in the industry depending on many factors. Good luck with finding a therapist. The BACP directory is a good place to look.

I often recommend patients I don’t feel able to work with to tavistockrelationships.org or Relate. The good thing about Tavistock is you can also attend on your own and focus on your relationship even if your partner isn’t open to going

If the couples therapy search is partly linked to either you or your partner or both feeling low in mood or depressed, most good NHS psychology services have a few therapists trained in Behavioural Couples Therapy/Couples Therapy for Depression. It has some quite practical elements e.g exercises to improve communication, improve connection, to be able manage stress together, to increase caring behaviours to each other etc. Unlike 1 to 1 therapy there’s often a shorter wait. The only thing is it would be time limited e.g in my service I offer up to 20 sessions for couples.

I’d also say the price you mention is good, the private couples therapist I know charge £140+ but that’s London rates.

I know lots of people are saying check they’re registered with BACP but there are other modalities of therapy/couples therapy with different accrediting bodies so them not being with BACP doesn’t have to mean they aren’t good or qualified. Just make sure to ask who they’re accredited with if it’s not clearly displayed but it should be!!

Don't you pay half the fee for the 1st session so you can see if you can work together or not? Some offer it for free
I trained as a counsellor.
It can sometimes take a few therapists until you find the one for you
Good luck

@onthebusagain Don't use relate they are notoriously awful, look at the recent thread here:
www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4623580-to-feel-let-down-by-couples-counsellor-not-spotting-abuse?page=1

Also consider solo sessions to see if couples counselling is appropriate because if there is any abuse (even if you are unaware of it right now as so many women are before MN or therapy), couples counselling is not recommended and as seen in the thread I have linked, a lot of Relate counsellors have helped prolong or even at times colluded in the abuse of many women.

@Offdutyfrom5
This one is based in manchester but her sessions are online. £140 is a lot but not surprising in London. I looked online at counsellors in manchester and some were charging £100 a session!